Posted by Lieutenant Junior Grade Sara Lovejoy (Chief Engineer) in Meeting the counselor -ATTN Kastarak

Posted by Ensign Kastarak (Doctor / Counsellor) in Meeting the counselor -ATTN Kastarak

Posted by Lieutenant Junior Grade Sara Lovejoy (Chief Engineer) in Meeting the counselor -ATTN Kastarak
Posted by… suppressed (42) by the Post Ghost! 👻
As Sara was ordered by the captain to go and talk to the counselor about things, and she was just completely confused. She just didn’t do anything wrong although she was ordered by the captain to do so. She knocks on the door to the counselors office and await’s to come in.

CE Lovejoy

Kastarak had only two lines of text in the referral as background when he opened the door and welcomed the chief engineer.

“Ms Lovejoy, welcome. Please sit down.” Kastarak gestured toward the two chairs by the window overlooking the stars outside.

He sat down.

“Please tell me, in your own words, why you have come here today.”

– Ensign Kastarak (doctor / counsellor)

“Well Counselor. I was told to come to you cause I was told that I said some stuff against Blaze.” She explained.

CE Lovejoy

“How did it feel to hear that you had said some stuff against him?” replied Kastarak.

“And please, tell me more.”

– – Ensign Kastarak (doctor / counsellor)

“Well counselor. I’m not sure you’re well enough about it. But I never said anything about him at all. But being told about it, hurt a lot.” She said.

CE Lovejoy

Kastarak paused, allowing silence to fill the space a little. He had found that silence would often help – it would bring time for the client to think and reflect, and ground themselves in the room, and the unfamiliar setting which was counselling.

Kastarak summarized what he had heard so far: “Ms Lovejoy,” he began, “Please correct me if I’ve understood things wrong, but what I’ve gathered so far is this: The captain has ordered you to come see me for counselling because, in the captain’s belief, or in someone else’s belief, you have said some bad things against your colleague Mr Blaze. You, on the other hand, do not understand this. You believe you have said nothing wrongful to Mr Blaze. This, perhaps all of this, hurts you. You feel hurt. Have I understood your perspective? If not, what would you amend, add or remove?

– Ensign Kastarak (doctor / counsellor)

“Well Counselor you are correct. I am hurt about it. I never said anything.” She looked at him.

CE Lovejoy

“Mm… You feel unfairly treated…” Kastarak hummed. “We can explore that pain, and your relationships to Mr Blaze and the captain. We can talk about feelings, about what is easy and less easy in your interactions with them, how they treat you, and so on. Would you like to do that?”

– Ensign Kastarak (

“Yeah. Honestly that would be rather nice. If you’d like to as well we can.” She said.

CE Lovejoy

Kastarak hummed reassuringly.

“Of course,” he said, resisting the urge to say that that’s why he’s here. “Please begin. Tell me about the captain. How do you find him? What emotions do you feel when you think of him?”

– Ensign Kastarak (doctor / counsellor)

“Well I like the captain. He’s a great man. He’s a strong and smart. He never turns his back on anyone. He is someone who is willing to give another chance to someone.” She explained.

CE Lovejoy

“I see”, said Kastarak. He paused, allowed for Lovejoy to say more. “You say that the captain is someone you like. He’s a great man, strong and smart, never turning his back on anyone.”

Kastarak paused again. “Yet, this strong and smart man – I am using your words here – has said that you have spoken ill of Mr Blaze, which you find untrue. How do you reconcile these two parts of your feelings for your captain? Is it possible to admire him, yet be angry with him at the same time? Or disappointed? Is he really strong and smart, if he has hurt you like this?”

Kastarak decided on using traditional psychodynamic techniques. These were old human psychotherapeutic ones – older than cognitive and behavioural therapy. Betazoids, like Lovejoy, would be highly attuned to emotion, but there was something ‘off’ with Lovejoy, Kastarak saw. She didn’t speak much, didn’t speak much of emotions at all. Was she depressed? Perhaps these techniques would allow her to sense her own emotions, and bring them up in the room.

– Ensign Kastarak (doctor / counsellor)

“If you’re wondering if I am depressed I am. But I do not allow them to bother me when I am working. I don’t like to talk about my emotions cause I don’t use them as often as I used to.” She told the counselor as if she was shutting him out or something. She didn’t want to mention something that would damage her relationship with her and the captain.

CE

It was strange to Kastarak that Lovejoy responded not to his question but rather to his thoughts. Was she using telepathy without noticing it? Could this be a reason why miscommunication and misinterpretation occurred down in engineering?

“I see,” he replied. ” What does being depressed feel to you? Can you describe it?”

– Ensign Kastarak (counsellor / doctor)

“Well counselor. It’s not a good thing. Being depressed is something I can’t handle but I don’t let it get into the way of my work. Also if you are thinking if my telepathic abilities is what happened in engineering with the miscommunication and misinterpretation, then yes you are correct. It’s something that I wished I knew how to control. I’m undisciplined with it.” She said to the counselor feeling like she wasn’t doing her job as Chief Engineer the right way.

Kastarak processed the information he received in Lovejoy’s reply. Again, Lovejoy did not answer the question, yet answered on the private thoughts he had in his mind.

“I see,” he said. “Let me just summarize where we are right now. You mention that you are undisciplined with your telepathic abilities, and this is related to miscommunication and misinterpretation down in engineering. I have noticed you avoid answering my questions. Why is that?”

– – Ensign Kastarak (counsellor / doctor)

“Counselor. You asked me what does being depressed feel to me and how I can describe it. So I answered it. What else am I supposed to respond?” She asked. She doesn’t like it when someone tries to ignore the question cause she foundit illogical and irrelevant.

CE Lovejoy

Kastarak nodded.

“How are you feeling right now?” asked Kastarak.

– Kastarak

“I’m not depressed. So I’m good.” She said.

CE Lovejoy

Kastarak paused, processing the situation. It was difficult for him to assess Lovejoy – she seemed to both want to express emotions and not express them, and at the same time, she seemed as if she did not know what feelings she had. Perhaps she was scared of them, that if she articulated her thoughts and feelings to a conscious level, she would risk make them real.

“Let me just summarize again, so I make sure that I understand you. The captain ordered you come see me because of him believing that you had said bad words about or to Mr Blaze, an assessment with which you disagree. Moreover, you declined to discuss your feelings about the captain – and I respect that – what you say is fully voluntary, but what is said is under counsellor–client or doctor–patient confidentiality under Federation law and Starfleet regulation. You mentioned earlier that you were depressed, and now you say you are not depressed. I asked you if you wanted to explore your feelings about the captain and Mr Blaze, and I asked you to begin with the captain, and you did not seem to desire to go down that route. Shall we speak about Mr Blaze a bit? Can you describe your assessment of Mr Blaze?”

– Kastarak (counsellor / doctor)

“Lt. Blaze is such a great Officer. His outstanding work is the best. I wouldn’t have asked for anyone like him to help out on board the ship. Furthermore, counselor, I don’t have any issue with Lt. Blaze. Heck, he’s the hardest worker ever.” She said.

CE Lovejoy

“You sound impressed, and he seems like the most able engineer possible at your disposal. What is it that the captain alleges you have said about him?”

– Kastarak (counsellor / doctor)

“Well of course I’m impressed with his abilities as a programmer plus engineer. Apparently the captain thought I said that he’s not a good engineer or a good person. But I never said anything about it.” She said.

CE Lovejoy

“Why would the captain think that, if he is, as you say, a great man, strong and smart, someone who never turns his back on any one. But didn’t he, in your view, turn his back on you when he spoke untruly of you? Unless it was true?” Kastarak wanted to explore Lovejoy’s analysis and sense of awareness of the situation more.

– Kastarak (counsellor / doctor)

“Conselor. With all due respect. The captain doesn’t seem that me and Blaze are able to work together. Although I know we can. It’s just the fact Blaze has been giving me an attitude when I ask all engineers to report for a engineering meeting. I just don’t understand what I am doing wrong. But yes. In this instance the captain did turn his back on me. And if it was true. I would’ve just left the ship. But I haven’t left cause I know I’m doing my job right. With all due respect.” She explained. “Why would I say anything like that to one of my officers when things aren’t true. Someone else might have done that.” She added. .

CE Lovejoy

Kastarak nodded. “He’s been giving you attitude when you asked him to report for engineering meetings. Talk me through it. What happened? Help me understand.”

– Kastarak (doctor/counsellor)

“Everytime I ask for a engineering meeting including him he comes in and says ‘oh make it quick’ or ‘I am busy. I have other things to work on’ you know. Something like that. And my response would be ‘well sorry if I pulled you away from your duty. But I’ve called this meeting for a reason’ but he just gets all defensive and gives attitude.” She explains.

CE Lovejoy

“I see. So while he is such a great officer – I am using your words – with such outstanding work that is the best, when he asks to keep a meeting short, and you reply to him, he becomes all defensive and gives attitude. Can you tell me what happens next? You told him that there was a reason for the meeting, and then what? How does he get all defensive and give attitude?”

Kastarak thought that perhaps it was not Blaze getting defensive, but perhaps the well sorry if I pulled you away from your duty line was defensive – as if it made Lovejoy appear to herself as a less able chief engineer. Perhaps she was feeling threatened by the ‘such a great officer’ who does ‘outstanding work that is best’, that she feels perhaps that her authority as chief engineer is threatened? Or could it be deeper, that it threatened her identity as engineer? Or her as an individual? Kastarak sensed that it would take some time to arrive at the heart of the problem. Only then, would they be able to find a way past it.

– Kastarak (counsellor / doctor)

“I was just being nice to him saying. ‘Hey we have a meeting and I’d like to get status reports from all my engineers.’ He basically goes to the defensive saying ‘oh well I am busy with other stuff and I don’t have time to deal with this.’ Kind of thing you know”. She said to the counselor as she felt bad.

CE Lovejoy

“That sounds frustrating,” interpreted Kastarak. “Can you talk through what feelings and thoughts you get when he, in your words, becomes defensive? Start with what thoughts you got, and then add the feelings.”

– Kastarak (counsellor / doctor)

“Counselor I don’t know if I can do that.” She said. “It’s just that I don’t know what to say about anything so I don’t know.” She added.

CE Lovejoy

“Okay, let’s explore that,” said Kastarak. “Help me understand.”

– Kastarak (counsellor / doctor)

“Counselor. All I’m saying is that Blaze doesn’t like me very well and I respect it. But he’s one of my engineers. My emotions and thoughts about it is that he hates me and on top of that my emotions doesn’t seem to matter to him. But really as his department head, I should be the one to give orders to my people in engineering. But he doesn’t like how I am but really I’m doing my best.” She said.

CE Lovejoy

“Let’s revisit the situation again. You ask Mr Blaze to join you in a meeting. He says he is busy. As a result of this, you think he hates you and that he disregards your emotional well-being. Help me understand – to me, there is a leap between him saying he’s busy and then hating you. We could also consider why you think he hates you. Is there anything you have done to make you think that he hates you?”

– Kastarak (counsellor / doctor)

“No. I’ve been doing my job a his department head.” She said.

CE Lovejoy

“You told me that he says that he is busy when you ask him to join you for a meeting, and that you see this as indicative of him being defensive. What other grounds do you have for making you think he hates you?”

–Kastarak (counsellor / doctor)

“Well let’s see how about the way I give orders in engineering. He doesn’t seem to like it at all. But the thing is, it’s my department. He needs to understand that.” She said. “Look I know you’re trying to help but most of the questions you’re asking me is something I don’t until I know his answers and know why he is the way he is.” She added.

CE Lovejoy

“It sounds like a difficult situation for you. You are trying to be a good manager. You feel he hates you when you tell him what to do. It is fully his fault that the situation is untenable, and not yours at all. Am I understanding the situation correctly?”

–Kastarak (counsellor / doctor)

“Yes exactly. That’s exactly how it is. The other thing is he feels like I’m targeting him which I’m not. I just want status updates and yes I am being nice about it. But he fins it hostile.” She said.

CE Lovejoy

Kastarak thought that now was the time to explore mentalization, the capacity in Lovejoy to think about others’ thoughts, feelings and motivations. He paused for a few seconds, waiting to see if Lovejoy wanted to add something without prompt. (OOC: Feel free to have Lovejoy say whatever at this point, add whatever you want her to say, feel, think, or tell Kastarak anything else that she might think is relevant).

After that, he said:

“Now, let’s explore how this situation is for Mr Blaze. You have told Mr Blaze you want to see him for a meeting. What does Mr Blaze say? What does he think and feel in that situation? And what does he then do?”

–Kastarak (counsellor / doctor)

She sighs. “Look all I really expect that my people in engineering to do is follow every order I give and come to every meeting when I page them. But Lt. Blaze like I said, doesn’t give a good impression with the newest members of engineering. I was showing one of my newest members of engineering around engineering and mentioned to him that we were having a meeting in the mess hall, and I kept paging Blaze to please report to the mess hall for a meeting and after like 3-4 times to please come to the mess hall for the meeting as he gets there, he gives an attitude and he’s like ‘Make it fast, I have other stuff to take care of other then being here in a stupid meeting’ in a sense I don’t think he wanted to come to the meeting cause he thinks I’m ‘too bossy’ in a sense. But the thing is being his Department Head, I should at least get some but not all respect in there. My other engineers actually gives me the respect that I would like to be given, and I give it back. I’ve always given Blaze all the respect that he needs. Yes he might have been on board a lot longer then me but I am his department head and I do need respect myself. And I’ve given him all the respect that he can get from me.” She explained it to the counselor cause she knows that she is right. She knows that Blaze has overstepped his boundaries with Lovejoy and the fact that he knows that she is the department head of engineering. “And besides, I’ve mentioned to one of my engineers that I’d give him the Chief Engineer position until I resume command of engineering. I’ve always been someone very lenient with them. And Blaze doesn’t see that in me. He sees that I’m more hostile then ever and it’s unfair to me that I’ve only been doing my job and I’m getting blamed for something I have never said or have ever done before and this is the respect and the thanks I get from Blaze. I’ve been super nice and respectful to him since I’ve been here and he doesn’t see that. I mean my other engineers has seen me nice and respectful and they are more then willing to come in and back me up as well.” She explained more and more in depth to the counselor. She never has ever said much before until the counselor wanted to know.

Chief Engineer Lovejoy

-bump-

There was a lot that Kastarak suddenly had to unpack. After struggling to get Lovejoy to actually speak, unhindered of thoughts and behaviours she might have thought was expected of her, she let go. Could it be some kind of breakthrough here? Kastarak wasn’t sure, he needed to understand the emotional component to the narrative. But in Kastarak’s view, it seemed that Lovejoy had difficulties in engaging with Blaze. She ascribes feelings and motives to Blaze that nothing in her narrative would actually indicate that he did. For example, Kastarak thought, a logical reason to Blaze’s behaviour in the mess-hall incident could have been that he had been assigned tasks, and that Lovejoy suddenly wanted him to do something different. Did Lovejoy expect Blaze to blindly follow orders, and leave everything he was doing to answer to Lovejoy’s beck and call? Or was Blaze an actual sinister figure in engineering, spreading discord and discomfort wherever he went? Did Blaze and Lovejoy have more history, not uncovered here?

There were so many questions in Kastarak’s mind. He wasn’t sure which way to explore would be best. Despite that, it seemed that Lovejoy had not reflected much on Blaze’s motives and situations. He would return to his previous question, that of Lovejoy’s capacity to mentalize on Blaze, but first he needed to validate Lovejoy’s experience and explore her emotions right now.

“It sounds frustrating for you. How are you feeling when you talk about this?”

–Kastarak (counsellor / doctor)

“Upsetting to the fact that he doesn’t listen but it also upsets me about talking about it. I do apologize for snapping the way I did. You are just trying to help me and I’m sorry.” She said as she felt bad about it. “What do you think I should do? Should I step down from what I’m doing or should I do what I’m doing and try my best to keep engineering in one piece.” She added.

CE Lovejoy.

“There is no need to apologise. And as for advice… you’re the expert on you. Let’s explore those options. We can call them option A and option B. Option A is that you step down from your role as chief engineer, and option B is that you try and find a way to continue in your role as chief engineer. Let’s begin by exploring Option A. What would happen if you stepped down as chief engineer? How would that affect you?”

– Kastarak (doctor / counsellor)

“With all due respect counselor, being the chief engineer of a ship so many years. I’d be feeling upset at myself if I stepped down from my position. Being a Chief Engineer has been my dream. I can’t imagine stepping down at all.” She said looking away from the counselor.

CE Lovejoy

Kastarak adjusted his posture, and leaned forward slightly, obvious, however, of Lovejoy’s looking away.

“It has been your dream to achieve the position of chief engineer, and it seems like it is an inseparable part of your identity.” he validated. “Now that you are the chief engineer, there are difficulties with a colleague of yours. Are there also problems between you and your supervisor – the captain? In the captain’s belief, you have said some bad things against your colleague Mr Blaze.”

Kastarak realized he went off script. They were supposed to explore the two options for now. He returned.

“If you stepped down as chief engineer, you would be upset myself. I get the sense it is because you would turn your back on your identity, invalidate that long-held dream of yours. What do you think of that proposition?”

– Kastarak (doctor / counsellor)