Posted by Lieutenant Symar (Chief Medical Officer) in Knock, knock, knocking on Symar’s door [tag: Symar]

Posted by Ensign Kastarak (Doctor / Counsellor) in Knock, knock, knocking on Symar’s door [tag: Symar]

Posted by Lieutenant Symar (Chief Medical Officer) in Knock, knock, knocking on Symar’s door [tag: Symar]
Posted by… suppressed (2) by the Post Ghost! 👻
(Snip)

“I would appreciate that, sir,” replied Kastarak. He noticed that he felt more comfortable when Symar spoke more “normally”, like a “normal” Vulcan. He did of course not share that sensation with his conversation partner, and he wished that he did not feel like that: Symar ought to be able to be just as he needs and wants to me. Why did it bother Kastarak so?

– Ensign Kastarak (doctor / counsellor)

Symar seemed to notice Kastarak’s hesitation and smiled slightly, ‘If you’d prefer, I could arrange for you to meditate with Commander T’Aria?’

-Lieutenant Symar: Chief Medical Officer-

Kastarak felt a slight embarrassment but before he could analyse it too much, he purged it. He needed to be fully serene and in the moment now. Nothing could disturb him. Yet, there was something oddly comforting with Symar’s suggestion. But how could he accept it, when he had asked Symar to help him? Symar, who apparently had lots of emotions, and felt them vividly and expressed them – how would Symar react to this?

Kastarak remained quiet for a few seconds, processing the situation.

“Perhaps that would be logical – we have experienced a cognitive intimacy before,” he replied, hoping that Symar would not be offended.

But why was Kastarak concerned about Symar’s feelings? Was that really logical? Surely concern was some kind of emotion? Why did he experience it? Why did he feel like he needed to be careful with Symar?

He then understood: He has interpreted Symar as more fragile and delicate than before – the trauma and emotion that surfaced from the otherwise stoic and rather quiet CMO in the conversation today… Kastarak felt empathy, a sense of responsibility for the CMO, like a younger brother would feel responsible for a sick older brother.

But Symar wasn’t sick! Kastarak’s thoughts went all over the place. He was confused, and it aggitated him. Why was he aggigated? Why did he start feeling things? Was it the Romulan-ness in Symar? The Romulans – who had destroyed his planet and forced him to live in exile? But the Romulans did this to Symar too? What would it be like to have the mark of one’s tormentors inside oneself?

He wanted to leave the situation but could not come up with a logical reason to leave.

Unless the flight response was a logical one?

No it wasn’t. It was an emotional response.

Suddenly, Kastarak’s mouth went wide agape, and he let out an anguished scream, while still sitting still: “Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!”

– Ensign Kastarak (doctor / counsellor)

Symar arched an eyebrow at the end of Kastarak’s yell, “Did… did that help?”

-Lieutenant Symar: Chief Medical Officer-

Clenching his fists, Kastarak felt unstable. There was so much aggression in him. Symar was right though, it did help, it was cathartic, but Kastarak needed to regain control, and Symar would not be the one who could help him do that. He was one without logic. He needed to go meditate on his own.

“It did, thank you,” he said. “I have been emotionally compromised, I shall immediately return to quarters to meditate.”

– Ensign Kastarak (doctor / counsellor)

“Wait,” Symar cut in, “Why don’t we do it together?”

-Lieutenant Symar: Chief Medical Officer-

Kastarak was surprised by the suggestion, but perhaps it could be enlightening. Symar, despite his lack of logic, and deep-held trauma in a Vulcan body (with Romulan additions) still managed to function, might be able to guide him in a sense, and it could be logical to understand Symar’s predicament. But would he be able to guide Kastarak to a state of serenity? Kastarak doubted it.

“Another time,” he said. “It would not be logical at this point. I need the serenity of mind, which there is every indication that you lack.”

– Ensign Kastarak (doctor / counsellor)