Posted by Captain Chris Taggart (Captain) in Mess Hall - Midnight Stew

Posted by Ensign Kastarak (Doctor) in Mess Hall - Midnight Stew

Posted by Lieutenant Commander T’Aria (XO / Navigation Officer) in Mess Hall - Midnight Stew
Posted by… suppressed (1) by the Post Ghost! 👻

“Indeed,” Kastarak said, trying to affirm what Sega’a had said. “I, too, find that emotions are like antennae for insects. They help me understand a situation. However, I cannot allow myself to immerse myself in them, like you did, when you played that song, and immersed yourself in what you called melancholia. Whenever I immerse myself in an emotion, I do not recognize myself.”

Kastarak took another sip of the tea.

“If you allow me to, metaphorically speaking, paint a picture. Imagine us standing on the quay of an empty harbour. It is high tide, and the weather is clear. There is no wind, and the day is warm. I decide to dip my toe in the water below, while you plunge in and swim in it. We both experience the water, but in different ways. Perhaps you, by virtue of your biology and the skills you have learnt throughout your life, are able to swim in the water, while I, by virtue of my biology and and the skills I have learnt throughout my life, am unable to swim, so I will drown. If you consider the sea an emotion, we both experience it. But I can only dip my toe in it, only sense it ever so slightly, and judge the water thereby. I still understand the temperature of it, its viscosity… But you can immerse yourself in it, feel it on all your sides. Sometimes, it is to me as if you you can swim in it, and in other times as if you can let yourself float on it, and trust the waves to carry you back ashore. How does this metaphor sound? I am trying to understand. I find value in discussing these matters. I find you wise, Sega’a, it is most agreeable and enriching to talk to you tonight.”

As he heard himself say the words, Kastarak noticed a slight feeling of jealousy, of being able to jump into the water and to swim. He knew too well that it was not for him to want. Like Xindi-Aquatics living their lives in the rich milieu of the depths of the sea, swimming and thriving there, Kastarak could experience a want for the same experience. But he could not immerse himself in the sea and live among the Xindi-Aquatics, he would die within minutes. Similarly, a Xindi-Aquatic would die on dry land, and yet, that is where Kastarak grew up. On dry, copper-laiden land.... His thoughts moved to his childhood home, the road along which his family lived, the sounds of the wildlife, and smells of meals being served after coming home from school.

He noticed another emotion, that of grief. He grieved his family. He recognized it, noted it, and tried to understand, but before he could rationalize over it, he felt another emotion, anger – anger that his family had been taken from him. He felt his heartbeat rising quickly, it was almost as if it was double the speed, blood rushed to his cheeks, and he wanted harm over all of those who had injured him. Yes, he felt himself injured, injured that someone had decided to kill his family, anger for never being able to see them again, commune with them, be with them.

Imagery, sounds and the telepathic shouts of agony from when the planet was destroyed flushed through Kastarak’s mind. He remembered how he and his colleague were navigating an ever changing landscape, trying to beat the black-hole-like gravity sucking the planet from within, and find refuge among the stars.

He now felt pain in his gutt. He wanted to be sick, to throw up. Surely, it wasn’t the tea? Could it be the emotional overload?

Outwardly, Kastarak did his best to appear calm, though Sega’a must have noticed something. A bronzier shade of bronze on his face? A pulse on his neck beating faster? Or perhaps Sega’a was not as perceptive. That would have been a relief.

Kastarak took a moment, shut his eyes, and tried to work through this.

“Forgive me,” he said softly, almost whispering, “I am experiencing some intense pain. I just need a few seconds to cast it aside.”

He kept closing his eyes, working hard to put the emotions aside. He could feel his body temperature rising, before the heartbeat started lowering, his breathing becoming less shallow, and he sensed how clarity came over him again. It was as if clouds on a foggy day dispersed, showing a blue sky behind. In his mind, he pictured San Francisco on a misty summer morning, getting clearer and clearer by the minute with the sun warming up the atmosphere, dispersing the mist. That was what was happening in his mind.

And it was clear again.

“There,” Kastarak sighed. “Now the pain is gone. Where were we?”

“We Vulcans use the koncept of katra for the soul, and for us, the katra is not imprisoned but something that is within us. We were once prisoners to our emotions. I don’t know how much you know of Vulcan history, but in our history, we were prisoners to our emotions, and that caused untold pain upon our people, until, of course, the destruction of Vulcan and the instant death of nearly all Vulcans in the universe.”

Kastarak realized that what he had said would probably be taken a bit different from what he had intended, and he continued,

“That said, there are some meditative techniques that can help suppress emotions, and thereby free the prisoner, so to speak, from the coommand of sentiment. Should you like, I would be agreeable to teach you some at whatever time of your convenience.”

This was Kastarak’s way of showing that maybe they could keep on meeting, one way or another. As he waited for Sega’a to respond, Kastarak realized he had not even given Sega’a any feedback on the earlier exposé that was given as a response to his question. Due to Sega’a’s fatalism, which concerned Kastarak, triggering in him his medical training, he thought this was more important to focus on, and then later, he could return to the exposé.

– Dr Kastarak (ensign)

He knew enough about Vulcan history to appreciate the conflict many endured. They were innately passionate, vibrant people with feelings that would overwhelm any Orion or human. But the violence of those emotions condemned them to a cycle of catastrophe. He could not speak to the importance of Surak and his teachings, nor the ongoing endeavour to purge what once pained them, but he could admire their persistence and grieve (in his mind) their loss. As Kastarak explained, he offered only his undivided attention - no comments nor gestures that might taint his words. When he offered to teach Sega’a meditative techniques, he couldn’t help but crack a tiny smile. Was this his shot to befriend Kastarak?

“I would like that very much,” Sega’a said. He held admittedly little knowledge about meditation and mindfulness. Though he appreciated its significance to other cultures, Sega’a always found he lacked the time or patience to try. Maybe Kastarak would be able to break through the restlessness in him. “I can always make time, so just let me know what works for you.”

— Sega’a

Despite his new-found clarity of mind, Kastarak recognized another emotion coming over him now, happiness. He was happy that Sega’a had decided to take him up on the offer. Quickly, Kastarak cast the emotion aside, but it gave him indication that he really wanted to develop a friendship with Sega’a. The question was why. Why was this important to Kastarak? He decided to meditate on it at a later stage.

“It is most agreeable to hear you say that, I will prepare some simple lessons for later this week. If you do not find it patronizing, I would recommend we begin with the kind of exercises Vulcan parents teach their children? I find that taking a child’s view on things helps us navigate difficult terrain. There is an innocence that can be used, and I trust I will not offend you by making the comparison that in Vulcan ways, you are still but a child.” Kastarak spoke softly, with consideration for Sega’a, and he meant in no way to offend him. Kastarak noticed how he almost sounded envious of Sega’a’s wisdom and innocence of mind. But Sega’a was not a child, in no other way, he was a man with much adult wisdom too – wisdom on matters where Vulcans could be seen as mere children. This was an intriguing situation. There was a high degree of asymmetry between Kastarak and Sega’a, yet they were very equal in another way. Curious, thought Kastarak

While Sega’a was off chatting with Kastarak and the Captain was making tea, Umbri quietly returned to the piano. Seeing all of these people around them brought together by music gave them hope. They decided to play a piece that expressed that hope.

(Music!)

Lt. (j.g.) Umbri Zayne, Tactical Chief

(OOC: Bumping for myself / tidying up. Replies coming soon!! - Trin)

– Ensign/Dr Kastarak

Ngokav halted to appreciate the music gracing his ears and shot Kastarak a winsome smile. “I’d ask you to dance, but…,” he glanced at his two ‘left’ feet, “why don’t we head back? It’d be a shame to let Umbri enjoy the music alone, eh?”

— Sega’a

Kastarak was initially taken aback by the suggestion. Vulcans do not dance. That was restricted to a by-gone era of decadence and emotional depravity, in the dark ages of pre-Surak times. However, a half a second later, Kastarak realized. Dance was in many other cultures an expression of community, of ritual, of commonality. In many other cultures, dance was a ritual for bonding. In others, a ritual for fertility and sexuality. It was confused Kastarak. What had Sega’a meant?

There was a sudden sense of relief of not having to approach that subject, as Sega’a had moved on.

“You are quite correct, we have been inconsiderate. I wonder if you will play something from Orion together? I am curious what Orion music might sound like”, said Kastarak as he rose from his chair and began walking back to the music.

– Ensign/Dr Kastarak

OOC: Pasting in the replies from the other thread to make fluid. :)
IC:

[O] I have all the ingredients. Honey, spices, different teas like black and green. [O]

[O]Copy. Vulcan tea may be unpalatable for some, so I suggest you replace the traditional spice blend with redspice, ginger, cardamom and cinnamon. And use black tea. I will send the measurements momentarily.[O]

A recipe for spice-infused honey tea appeared in his inbox within heartbeats.

[O]For an extra…’oomph’… add 20 grams of sugar. I find the ‘brown’ variety yields the best results.[O] Her voice tapered into a contemplative silence. [O]May I ask why you’re preparing tea at 0200?[C]

[O] I’ll be honest with you T’Aria. I’m here in the mess hall and the crew are actually laughing, playing music, mingling and talking in deep discussions. I haven’t seen this since we left all those years ago. With the wars we’ve fought, the crew we’ve lost and the bond that we have all shared and broken.....I..I....I just wanted to get this one thing right. I’m sorry to call on you so early, but I really had no other option. Please forgive me? [O] He really did want to keep this moment going on for a bit longer before real life came crashing down on them once more.

[O]There is nothing to forgive. I find your passion commendable, and I trust the crew will, too. We are on the fringes of a long road to recovery. I anticipate it will take as much time and effort as it did to get us here.[O] T’Aria wavered, her voice waning into pensive silence. [O]Tonight is an appropriate place to start. Take solace in knowing you’re contributing to their healing as much as your own. And know I am always here.[O]

Chris came out of the kitchen with tea, coffee and snacks that he baked. He smiled while holding the tray with both hands as the music was playing and the youngish Vulcan was in deep conversation with the ships most trusted attribute., Sega’a.

Approaching the table table Chris did not want to disturb any of them so he placed the tray down on a nearby table and poured the Vulcan tea into a cup and placed it on a saucer with fresh baked traditional Vulcan snacks and treats. He walked over with a white towel draped over his arm like a colonial butler and placed the saucer in front of Kastarak and walked back to the table.

Grabbing a cup of Sega’a’s favorite drink and treat, he walked back over and placed that down in front of Sega’a and left.

Looking over at Umbri smiling, Chris didn’t know what she wanted so he made a cup of coffee, tea and Vulcan tea and put two of every treat on another saucer and walked over to her and placed them all on top of the piano. He went back to the kitchen to clean and stopped at the door to look at the assembled crew and could not help but get misty eye. “This is what it’s all about.” He whispered to himself before slowly ducking back into the kitchen.

Captain Chris Taggart CO

— T’Aria (Sega’a’s commentary TBA)