Posted by Lieutenant Commander T’Aria (XO / Navigation Officer) in PreSIM: A (Begrudged) Meeting with the Counselor

Posted by Ensign Kanina Dran (Doctor/Counselor) in PreSIM: A (Begrudged) Meeting with the Counselor

Posted by Lieutenant Commander T’Aria (XO / Navigation Officer) in PreSIM: A (Begrudged) Meeting with the Counselor
Posted by… suppressed (1) by the Post Ghost! 👻
[SNIP]

Kanina nodded, understanding the basic struggle. She had had a similar experience from the opposite end of the spectrum, understanding people but uncertain how to react to people that could not read her mind. “It will be less of a struggle than you think. Those who work closely with you will adapt to understand your responses. How you display approval, support, any of the things they are looking for.” She smiled slightly, remembering a similar conversation almost a decade ago. “The ideal response for the person who is emotional is often validation.”
-Kanina Dran, CNS

“Validation?” T’Aria’s lips parted upward as she leaned forward, her head tilted ever-so-slightly. She listened closely to what Kanina had to say, valuing whatever inside the doctor could yield her. She understood, for the most part, what Dran was saying. Time had a way of making the odd, familiar. “I didn’t realise it was that simple.” She knew the mechanics of validation - reflective statements, attentive listening, clarifying questions - but lacked the process. She was eager to learn. “How would you go about validating an officer’s emotions?”

– T’Aria, XO

“The easiest way is what I call the I understand method. Before you give them feedback, positive or negative, say “I understand you feel…” and then whatever emotion you can identify. It makes people feel seen and makes them more receptive to whatever you need to say next.” Kanina clasped her hands in front of her on the desk. “I’d guess that you’ve often tried to get people to stop being emotional so they can be rational. Often, it’s easier to help them move through the emotions quickly rather than ignore them altogether.”
-Kanina Dran, CNS

“This.. ‘I understand’ method seems promising.” She reflected on her conversation – the mess – with Kane. She wanted to understand what he was going through and how she could — if at all – help to ease it. But she had no idea how to approach the situation without watching it crumble before her. The more she reflected, the more she realised how foolish she’d been.

T’Aria tore her gaze from the counsellor, inspecting a speck of dust as though it were a virtuoso soliciting attention. She blinked. “You’re right,” she released a quiet breath and considered the Counselor’s suggestion, “but at what point does ‘helping’ become ‘facilitating?’”

She desperately wanted this to be a science, but she knew it was the farthest thing from it. Humans – people were volatile and prone to irrational outbursts that, despite psychology holding the plaque for ‘science’, had no rhyme nor reason to it. She didn’t understand it. Frankly, she couldn’t imagine they did either. There were subtleties and so many grey areas that made logic a poor tactic. Still, she stubbornly continued to employ it. Maybe it was time to try something new.

– Lt. Cmdr. T’Aria, XO

“Feelings are muddled. Confusing. Joyous occasions make one sad, terror makes them laugh.” Kanina smiled at the determination she could feel from the Vulcan woman. She found her willingness to learn impressive, appreciated the way her thoughts flowed as she accepted and catalougued Kanina’s words. “Sometimes they need a little push to identify their own feelings, and then they can sort it out on their own.” She let out a small laugh. “Sometimes they can’t, and I am called to help.”
-Kanina Dran, CNS