Posted by Ensign Chloe Harland (Nurse) in Chloe’s Quarters - Guess who is coming to dinner

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Nathan heard Mara, and normally her small cries would make his heart melt more but he knew he had to try and fix what was wrong right now. Logan wasn’t grown but he was old enough to know when thinks had been off. “I’m sorry I wasn’t here sooner.” Nathan said softly in his sons ear as he didn’t let go, keeping a hard grip he felt like if they ever separated this might all wake up as a dream.

Nathan Harland

“Mara stop,” Chloe’s tone became slightly sharper as she juggled the squirming toddler making her way to the kitchen. “Daddy is coming. You got to see Daddy and now it is Logan’s turn.” Setting down Mara in the booster seat, Chloe began to pull various items from the replicator and cooler unit.

“Come on Logan.” Nathan said as he placed Logan on the ground before offering his hand for his son to grab onto. He wanted to make sure Logan understood he wasn’t going to be leaving as the two walked over.

Logan gripped Nathan’s hand like a vice. There was no way he was going to let go. If his Daddy was leaving, Logan was going with him.

Slumping in her seat, Mara slouched so that her eyes were level with the tabletop and glaring at her mother. Now that Nathan was on the outpost with them, time was not necessarily of the essence. After finishing setting the table Chloe sat down and called the boys over. Reaching the table Nathan would see the meal was very different than what he remembered. While Chloe had said she made orange chicken, the reality was not the chinese entree but literally a piece of chicken that was dyed orange. This chicken breast was surrounded by orange colored green beans, mashed sweet potatoes, and bread the color of bright orange hazard cones.

“Uhmmm…” Nathan said as he looked at the meal as he eyed Mara then Chloe. “It’s… orange chicken.” he said as he nodded his head slightly at the sight of the meal. “I don’t remember this recipe…” Nathan said we a bemused chuckle as he pulled the chair for Logan as he let go of his hand before moving next to him as he pulled out the other chair meant for himself.

Logan looked at Nathan concerned for a second before locking eyes on his father. It was a hard stare making sure the man was not going to suddenly break for the door like an escaping criminal.

“Mara will only eat orange things so I have the replicator dye everything orange so that she will eat it.” Chloe stated matter of factly as if this was the most logical thing in the world. Picking up her fork, she pierced a bite of chicken and began to chew it.

“I like orange,” Mara said still slumped in the chair but now stabbing the chunked chicken with her baby fork. The food looked good except for the potatoes and green beans.

“That you do little one.” Nathan said as he took his seat, feeling a sense of peace and easiness as he settled into the table.

“Baby, sit up please,” Chloe said pouring Logan’s and Mara’s milk.

Chloe

Nathan Harland

Relaxing some, Logan leaned over whispering something in Mara’s ear. Her eyes got wide and then she wrinkled up her nose. “I like red too,” she announced looking at her brother.

“Logan likes red foods,” Chloe began to guess what the children were talking about. Mara let out a huge giggle shaking her head. Logan sighed deeply and looked at Chloe with an expression of pleading to understand. “Logan wants strawberries,” Chloe stood up ready to get what he wanted. She paused not sure if this was correct learning by experience a smorgasbord of food didn’t mean you might get it right. The laughter from Mara indicated that this family dance was still not right. “Logan wants apples? Spaghetti? Tomatoes,” Chloe rubbed her forehead as a small headache was starting to form above the bridge of her nose. She needed tonight to be perfect and right now her stress level was starting to peak.

“I want apples. Orange apples,” Mara sat up looking excited.

“Orange apples? Well aren’t you the epitome of having your cake and eating it too… and no you can’t have any cake ragamuffin.” Nathan said as he pointed his fork at her, certain that she was going to ask for cake next, orange cake he assumed.

“Where orange cake,” Mara sat up looking all around her.

“There is no cake,” Chloe cut off a piece of her chicken giving more to both Logan and Mara. She never knew how much they were going to eat and had gotten so tired of throwing food away.

“Daddy say cake,” Mara pointed at Nathan. Her expression was almost accusatory.

“Where is it,” Mara held up her hands with a mock expression like that of a magician. Bending to the side she looked under the table as if Nathan had stored it there ready to produce it once abracadabra was announced.

“Mara these is no cake,” Chloe tucked a strand of hair behind her ear.

“Wogan get cake,” she asked eyeing her brother suspiciously. He and her daddy had been on the couch for a long time. Maybe that is where they left the cake of which her daddy was speaking of.

“Honey we have dinner and I was wondering if you could tell me what Logan want’s,” Chloe asked again as Mara scooped up a chunk of chicken. Chewing it slowly, Chloe waited counting in her head. Mara was little and it was unfair that she had to constantly translate for Logan however the therapist had assured Chloe it could be worse and Logan could speak to no one in the family. Wracking her brain, Chloe began the daily guessing game when it came to communicating with her son. Looking at Nathan, Chloe looked like she was about to get emotional. The last thing she needed was for Nathan to see how hard it was managing the kids now. Taking a deep breath she opened her mouth to give her husband an explanation before Chloe’s face lit up. “Daddy’s shirt,” she pointed at Nathan looking at Logan with a smile. “You like Daddy’s red shirt,” Chloe repeated. Logan responded this time with a large grin. The tooth he lost in July just starting to grow back. He turned to face Nathan smiling as he gave Chloe a thumbs up. “I like his shirt too. Red is nice,” Chloe smiled happily at her son.

“Well thank you little man.” Nathan said looking fully at Logan. He knew Logan wouldn’t speak but it helped to look at him when replying to the things Mara said for him. It let him feel connected to the family while he still dealt with the trauma. In reality they were all dealing with the same trauma, adults sadly had more deadly ways of coping with drugs and alcohol. No one ever died form an accidental overdosing of muteness.

Logan beamed at his Dad for understanding. It was so hard not being able to talk to his parents. He wanted to talk to them so badly but the last time he talked was when he said bad things to Maddie and now Maddie was no longer here.

“So how was your first day,” she tried to start an adult conversation like they had in the past?

“Paper work, just paper work. I did have someone named from one of the local shops come by… nice lady… really loves her kids.” Nathan said, leaving it there as any farther could break his confidentiality vow, but he had to admit after all she said he wondered if he should be the one to keep seeing her. She seemed less troubled and more just trying to find ways to get her son married off.

“Evie,” Chloe replied without missing a beat. “Did she tell you about Mathias? That is one proud mama,” she laughed. “The captain is a stand up guy. I like him a lot but if you listen to his mom, Mathais dons a red cape and boots at night protecting the streets from thugs and gangsters,’’ she laughed. “I am not sure Captain McGarret is Superman but he is going to be a solid commander we…I…you,” Chloe stuttered looking down. She should have stayed with the ‘we’ pronoun but instead allowed her overthinking to get involved. “We,” she repaired her sentence, “can get behind.”

Logan moved his chair closer to Mara and again whispered in Mara’s ear as she poked at a green bean. “I watch TB mommy,” Mara asked looking at Chloe. This statement brought a confused look from Chloe and caused Logan to toss an orange green bean at his sister’s head.

“Hey more eating less throwing,” Chloe said rubbing her neck. Dinner was always busy but tonight it seemed more so.

Nathan was taking a drink as he heard the request, that wasn’t something they often did while eating but part of him wouldn’t hate the idea.

“You or Logan,” Chloe looked between her kids. A second later she shook her head. “No just because Daddy is here doesn’t mean we aren’t eating dinner,” Chloe said gently.

Mara looked at Chloe and then Nathan. It was clear that even though she was a child, Mara knew how to take in a situation. “I watch TB daddy,” she changed the intonation of her voice to be more high pitched and question like.

“I don’t know either baby girl, but… I think that isn’t the whole story is it?” Nathan said as he tilted his head at Logan, he was every watching. Part of him was always observant, it was his job afterall.

Logan sighed and tossed another orange green bean at his sister drawing a scowl from Mara. “Mommy Wogan,” she pointed a finger at her brother in a pout. Closing her eyes and sighing, Chloe picked up her drink and chugged several large swallows using the time to think of a reply.

Chloe

“Logan… you want tv don’t you?” Nathan said, not needing a real response as he was fairly certain this was the case. “How about we watch Star Wars Episode XVI: In Search For A Plot after we finish this amazingly… orange meal?” Nathan said, the real title of course was none of the such, but considering that XVI was Logan’s favorite it was a great place to start, even if there had been more of those movies made than books in the bible.

Logan could not hold back his excitement. Looking at Nathan he debated how to tell his father what needed to be said. Bolting as fast as his feet could carry him, Logan left the table running full speed to his room

“Logan,” she jumped up following her son. “Nate watch Mara,” Chloe ordered without thinking. Things were so hard at times with Logan. Not being about to talk created weird times where Logan tantrumed like a small child not out of naughtiness but pure frustration.

“Wogan get da’ cake,” Mara looked at Nathan eagerly.

Coming back to the table, Chloe looked amazingly relaxed and wearing a smile. It was in stark contrast to the expression she left the table with. Leaping into his seat he proudly showed his father Darth Jar Jar. The figurine made Chloe groan shaking her head. “Noooo,” she drew out the word playfully. “You know how I feel about Darth Jar Jar. He was so stupid. It made no sense. None,” Chloe became more animated as she ranted causing Logan to giggle watching her. “Mesa says Daddy had it right about Search for a Plot,” she attempted to imitate Logan’s favorite villain. “You sure you sa wanna watch dat,” she looked at her son with an silly serious expression studying Logan closely.

“No better than that Darth Rey, let’s be honest once Han died they began milking his corpse for years.” Nathan snarky replied to his wife.

“And the problem with that is,” she winked at him.

Logan rapidly bobbed his head up and down indicating he was thrilled with the idea.

“Settled then.” Nathan said as he made a small fist for his son to pump as the little guy eagerly fist pumped him as Nathan looked up and winked at Chloe as he reached over and placed his hand on top of hers.

Nathan Harland

“Where’s cake,” Mara threw up her hands confused at what just happened.

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Thirty minutes later....
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Logan helped his mom clear the table but continued to keep one eye on Nathan who was drinking coffee and chatting to his mom. His actions were getting a bit more hyper as he watched the time. It was 7:30 pm. Bedtime was 8 pm on school nights and his dad was not in his sweat pants and hoody like he used to be at this time. His daddy looked like he was getting ready for work instead of coming home from it. As the dishes were finally done, Chloe kissed the top of Logan’s head and suggested he go get in his pajamas. This firmly caused Logan to plant his feet and stare at Nathan. Slowly he shook his head at Chloe and backed towards Nathan. Mara watched the scene with little interest. Her attention was firmly on the slice of orange cake before her.

“You happy stinker?” he said as Mara wouldn’t speak but just mumbled as crumbs fell from her face.

“Why wu ak” she said with a mouthful of crumbs falling down her shirt. Translated from toddlerese the youngest Harland clearly indicated that ‘I love cake’.

“I take that as a sound yes.” he said as he kissed Mara on her head as he looked over at the scene Logan was causing. Nathan’s skills were being tested lately he felt in home. He tried to never analyze his family, in some ways it was like being a Betazoid and reading minds of non-Betazoids. He wanted people to feel on even level yet now, his family was more of a class A case than ever before.

“Hey chief I said go get ready for bed,” she asked a second time as Logan slide back down in a chair staring at her. As much as he wanted to help his mommy, Logan could not chance that Nathan would not be there when he returned. Chloe let out a sigh looking at her son. “Logan Thomas if you want to watch some of the movies you need to go get ready for bed okay,” she coaxed. His reply was to slowly shake his head no. It was not a defiant refusal but more a begging one. Moving up from his seat, he backed up until his body found Nathan’s knee. Sliding up on it, Logan wrapped one of Nathan’s arms around his body and laid his head on the bicep.

“Buddy he is not going anywhere I proh,” she said looking Nathan in the eyes. She wanted to promise Nathan would be there forever but couldn’t. She had no idea what the future held and had to create a stable world where Logan and Mara could set expectations that she could deliver. Chloe loved Nathan more than she had ever loved anyone past her children. Admitting this was so much harder than dealing with all the pain. They were somewhere between here and there yet to assume everything would be perfect because one night of casual sex and dinner was living in a world as fantasy-filled as thinking her daughter was still alive.

Chloe

Nathan was a little more bold, Chloe wasn’t sure about everything and that was to be expected. The truth is Nathan hadn’t come this far to not be willing to make the promises. This went against everything he told others to say to their spouses or children. Never promise if you couldn’t follow it up, even if it was a small chance. Small chance could cause wounds. The truth was nothing in the galaxy would stop Nathan from keeping these promises, he was done being away from the only people that made his life make any sense.

“I will be here, I never lie to you little man.” Nathan said as he looked over at Chloe for a second and wondered the best way to cap off the night as a small smirk came over his face. “How about we try something when me and your mom were young. See when we got married we had a small home like these quarters, nothing compared back at Boston right? These places are sardine cans but you can fun in them… wanna know how?” he asked Logan, while looking over at Mara to see if she was listening too.

“More cake,” Mara’s eyes lit up like she was just told behind a door was a room full of puppies as Chloe pulled her from the high chair. “Mommy, more cake,” she threw her arms around Chloe’s neck in a pre thank you hug. On a scale of one to ten, tonight was a hundred or whatever was higher than that number, Mara firmly believed.

Logan looked at Mara and then back to his Dad with a hint of concern. Cake was good but not as good as time with his daddy. Instead of worrying that his dad’s idea of fun was eating cake in a different room as his sister seemed to think, Logan held his breath as he shrugged his shoulders.

“We have a fort night, blanket forts with candy, popcorn, and pj’s. All of us in the living room, curled up with the table out of the way like we are in the great wild… and we are we are in outer space… how much more wild does that get?” Nathan asked as he had a large grin hoping the idea would be something to spark joy on his kids.

Nathan Harland

Logan’s face lit up with a huge smile as he took his father’s hand. The idea sounded great but he was not letting Nate out of his site. Pulling him towards the bedroom, Logan looked at his mom almost for permission. With her alone, bedtime rituals were run with drill sergeant precision. Logan had a shower with Chloe in the bathroom brushing Mara’s teeth. He loved bath’s at one time but not anymore and there was no one to watch Mara so he had to learn the art of showering. After he was done, his mom gave him a towel to dry off and put on the pj’s that were laid on the bed. Then he returned to the bathroom to brush his teeth as Mara got a bath. Logan could have gone to his room to read or play with his toys, but he always opted to bring a book back and read to Mara and his mom. He just felt safer being able to watch Mara in the water even though Chloe had barely four inches of water in the tub. Tonight however he would not have to worry about bathtime. His dad and mom said to just get dressed. Yanking Nathan’s hand for his father to follow him, Chloe smiled and shook her head slightly. Logan needed this so much more than she realized.

“Okay champ… show me to your room.” Nate said as he felt a jerk to follow as he found himself being dragged into his sons room.

Entering the bedroom, Nathan would see the room was virtually identical to the one back in his Martha’s Vineyard home. The baseball motif was everywhere from the curtains to the bedding to the decorations. On the wall where it had hung since Logan’s birth, was Nathan’s baseball jersey framed in a glass over the bed. Staring at the open door as Chloe carried Mara to her room, Logan began changing his clothes with a speed that would impress Superman in his phone booth. The shirt came off first and flew across the room landing half on and half off the bed. His pants were rapidly pulled down so that he had to do a weird little hop dance to get them off his body to the material bumching at his feet.

“It’s not a race Logan… though there is presents for you guys… I think you will like it.” Nathan said as he son seemed to be in a frantic rush. Part of him truly loved the fact his son wanted to spend time, but Nathan was aware enough the reasoning he wanted the time was not as healthy as it should be. Kids should want their parents, but Logan’s was far more than that. Logan’s world had been shattered, and normalcy was something he desperately needed to get back. Even if for one night Nathan knew from his time as a kid that one night could mean the world with your parent.

Logan knew his dad was talking to him but the drive to make sure his mom was just putting Mara in pj’s felt overwhelming. In under ten seconds, Logan had changed and was standing at the door motioning for Nate to follow him out of the room. Another time he would show his dad everything in here. Right now he had to keep an eye on his mom and Mara.

Entering the living room, Logan did as he was told and sat down on the couch trying to ignore Mara’s babbling about Daddy having cake presents.

Chloe

“Okay… first you three all have gifts, and we ate and threw food but… no one got to open anything. So how about we recitfiy that?” Nathan said as he grabbed some of the blankets from the closet area that was near the living area. It was a guess but he knew his wife would try to keep things efficient. “Oh Logan grab as many pillows as you can… all of them… mommies too.” he said with a wink as he threw some of the blankets on the couch.

Nathan Harland