Posted by Lieutenant Zoi Haven (Chief of Security) in SB 157: The Boiler Room Cafe: Meeting with XO

Posted by Commander Dira Myqian (Executive Officer) in SB 157: The Boiler Room Cafe: Meeting with XO

Posted by Lieutenant Zoi Haven (Chief of Security) in SB 157: The Boiler Room Cafe: Meeting with XO

(snip)

Zoi licked her lip and bit it , letting it slide through her teeth until she was no longer biting it as she concentrated. What was that sense she was getting? Zoi was aware of the attraction she felt for Dira but did not know it was mutual. Dira was completely new to her so Zoi did not know if she should address this feeling or her own attraction or not. Feeling that caution was required, she let it drop. For now, they would simply enjoy their dinner and desserts. “Well,” She said mirroring the other woman’s language and shrugging nonchalantly with a half grin. “I dont think either of us did.” Was that about the meeting changing from official to social or was it about their unexpected mutual attraction?

Understatement of the year, right there. Dira couldn’t help but just gaze at Zoi, noting her expression and subtle movements. Fingers still tucked under her chin, the fingernail of her index dragged slowly back and forth across the side of her thumb. It seemed to refocus the slight anxious feeling in her stomach elsewhere, and she was forcing it to be enough of a distraction from the urge to reach out and touch Zoi which would be crossing a line whether this was friendly or not. She was the XO now. She was under no less obligation to guard her interactions with members of the crew than she had been before, and so far had had no issues. Why was this so much harder? Was it just how beautiful Zoi looked as she bit her lip. By the goddesses, woman, STOP IT! she told herself strongly, glad Zoi was not an actual telepath. Then again, if she had, this would be a very different conversation.

“I think that it is nice that two officers, strangers to one another, can connect on this level. I don’t feel guilty that our meeting went from official to social. Afterall, we covered the necessary bases for our official part. Besides, the Boiler Room is such a relaxed environment. It’s part of the reason I love it so much. The ambiance, the food, the music, the service; all appealing and perfect.

Haven, CoS

“And the company,” Dira said idly before it really dawned on her how her words could come across.

In slight shock at her own lack of restraint, Dira almost jolted back upright, her eyes wide and fingers covering her mouth. “I am so sorry. That was inappropriate and unprofessional,” she said softly, shaking her head in utter disbelief, her eyes fixed on the middle of the table.

Commander Myqian, XO

Zoi had been trying trying to keep things light and relaxed. Then BAM! Dira’s mouth. Her mouth fell open in surprise, eyebrows raised. If Zoi could have passed off the initial comment about the company as nothing more than friendly, her follow up reaction and words spoke volumes of something more significant. Once again Zoi was forced to choose between keeping it light and friendly, or taking the road of her attraction. Only this time, there was significant indication that Dira felt something akin to the attraction Zoi felt towards her.

She realized her mouth was still open as Dira was boring holes into the table with her eyes and shut it rather audibly. “I..” She paused. It had been a long time since Zoi had flirted. The last time had been with the CoP and only a small amount. Was she ready for this step? How should she proceed? She considered Dira who was obviously feeling like she might have overstepped. It made Zoi feel sympathy. It had obviously not been a planned statement, so Zoi addressed this first as she sat up straight and placed her forearms on the table, fingers crossed together.

That anxious feeling in her stomach went rock hard and Dira closed her eyes, knowing she had shocked Zoi as much as herself and suddenly it felt like there was a gulf between them. A part of just wished it would swallow her whole. How could she have acted so stupid? Whatever excuse she could come up did not make it alright.

“Two people are being social, professional duties having been finished and put away. We are just Dira and Zoi at dinner not Commander Myqian and Lt. Haven. I feel like unprofessional should be tossed right out.” She said with wave of her hand as if to dismiss it completely from her mind. “I don’t see as inappropriate is a correct statement either? Perhaps unfiltered, unprepared or maybe even not something you were ready to say would be more accurate?”

Gazing up at Zoi finally, Dira’s remorse was evidence in her eyes. But Zoi had a point, remorse over what exactly? More to the point, when was the last time she had been just Dira? She had been well aware that the inability to put down the mantel of Therapist had been another of her flaws for a long time now, but had she done so too quickly here? Why was it so easy to be casual with others, like Willow, nd accept it as naturally settling in, and yet here it was a problem? “Perhaps…” she said at length, lowering her hands and resting them before her on the table.

“If I am receptive to the implication such a statement might have, is it something you would be sorry to say? Or are you sorry because it is inaccurate or something you are unwilling to admit?”

Haven, CoS

Okay, so there were a couple ways to go about this and Dira knew that with others she might need to dance around a tiny bit, but with Zoi it was pointless. They both valued openness and honesty. “Okay, I’m going to be very honest and you can do with it what you will.”

Dira felt her chest expand fully as she forced herself to breath deeply, and gave herself a moment to gather her thoughts. “You say I’m not here as Commander Myqian anymore. And you’re correct, I’m not. But the thing is that it’s been an exceptionally long time since I’ve been truly able to do that. And that’s because I am so comfortable with you that I can drop my guard. I am attracted to you, but that alone would never make me be so… bold? I guess.” Dira sighed. “Zoi, you need to understand that I just came from a difficult situation where the roles were reversed. I had someone with feelings for me that were inappropriate for the situation and they were not good at boundaries. I was uncomfortable enough that I had to stop being their therapist. I never want to make anyone uncomfortable like that… ever. It’s the antithesis of everything I am. I’m not sorry because it’s inaccurate or unwilling to admit, but because I should have checked myself earlier when I was even mentally crossing a line.” The question still remained for her whether that line was even valid, but she didn’t get to unilaterally decide that here.

Commander Myqian, XO