Posted by Chief Petty Officer Oscar Cameron Cascarrabias Demalia (Engineer (Grouch)) in Main Sim - USS Ogawa Exterior

Posted by Commander Dira Myqian (Executive Officer) in Main Sim - USS Ogawa Exterior

Posted by Chief Petty Officer Oscar Cameron Cascarrabias Demalia (Engineer (Grouch)) in Main Sim - USS Ogawa Exterior
Posted by… suppressed (2) by the Post Ghost! 👻

(snip)

Oscar almost choked on filtered air. He was sure that he had heard the Lt. (j.g.) calling himself the Walrus correctly, but that couldn’t possibly be correct. True, there was the joke that Ensigns in the Services departments either died on their first away mission or lived to have thirty year careers. The thing was, those Ensigns who died typically didn’t die at the hands of fellow officers. If CPO Cascarrabias had heard the Walrus correctly, he was considering cannibalism. Oscar may not have any love for officers, but he definitely drew the line at killing them.

His only resort was to default to what he did best - disruption and annoyance. He thought quickly as he looked between the ensigns and the Walrus.

“My dear Walrus, we have not the seasonings to make them taste quite right. If we prepare to flavor them before the shucking,” Oscar started, assuming now that the Walrus believed the Ensigns to be oysters, “then they will be an even more delectable feast. Perhaps you can go find something to add to them before the feast.”

Oscar motioned to the clearly terrified Crewman, who probably thought that Oscar had indeed gone mad along with the rest of them. “Don’t worry, the… uh… the… Sun here will make sure that I do not precede you, nor that… night… uh… falls before you return.”

He really hoped that the “Walrus” took the bait, because if not, he was really hosed on how to make sure that the party didn’t turn into a cookout.

Oscar Cascarrabias
Engineering

The Walrus agreed and bounced up excitedly holding out his hand to drag Oscar along with him. “To the Merchant area! I am sure they have salt, and pepper, and cabbages and all sorts of other exotic herbs and spices. Oh and butter! We mustn’t forget the butter to drip all over their fat little bodies when we crack them open!”

Oscar mentally swore to multiple forms of unpleasant afterlife as he realized that the “Walrus” was going to drag him along, which skewered his plans for actually getting the group to safety. Come to that, even if he had been enthusiastic about eating other humanoids, the fact that the Walrus considered salt, pepper, and cabbages to be “exotic” would have given Oscar a negative judgment of the Walrus’s taste. Then again, that gave him a sudden idea for how to incapacitate the corpulent commissioned officer. Admittedly, the idea was due to the regrettable circumstance to which he had accidentally subjected Cai earlier this morning, but some of the best ideas that Oscar had tended to come from others’ misfortune.

The other, sane NEs and lower ranking enlisted men looked to the NCO as their unofficial savior and leader with a questioning glance clearly communicating, “Now what?”

GM Wombat

Oscar turned back and looked at them through his clear face shield. He knew he needed to tell them to disperse as quickly as they could, but without letting the Walrus know what, exactly, was going on. The Grouch was not enjoying playacting as The Carpenter one bit, and he hated the fact that he had to actually give orders to others who were legitimately his subordinates even more. Once again, he decided to have a go at rhyming, but it was decidedly sub-par compared to, say, Neruda.

“Yes, Mister Walrus, to the bazaar we go,
To find some bold accompaniments
To our pleasant and sumptuous feast.
All of these fine guests will wait until we know
What we shall find for compliments
To their rather fluid tastes.”

He turned to the Crewman who had first apprised him of the situation. If he was going to keep the conceit, Grouch needed the Crewman to keep up with him. Hopefully, he wasn’t a dimwit like so many newly-minted officers. If the Crewman didn’t catch on, should CPO Cascarrabias’s plan fail, everyone in this corridor was in serious trouble.

“Well, Mister Sun, I suppose that we shall be off. Take care of the oysters while we’re gone. See that they get comfortable and secure, so that nothing happens to them that shouldn’t happen, will you?”

Oscar wiggled his eyebrows, hoping against hope that such a boldly flippant expression would indicate that he still had his senses. If the Crewman, whose name Oscar had never learned, but dubbed as the Sun, had his, he would know well enough to evacuate everyone and hide them away in a secure location. With that, the Grouch (or the Carpenter, take your pick and get your choice in this madhouse) joined the Walrus on their trip to the Merchant Area.

Oscar Cascarrabias
Engineering

The crewman stared at Oscar for a moment contemplating his instructions before smiling broadly and then nodding emphaticlly. “Yep see the junio.... er… Oysters to somewhere safe and secure. Got it chief.” With that the younger man started shooing the “oysters” out of the area and towards the nearest cargo hold or some such space.

=/\=Commander Myqian to all USS Ogawa crewmembers. Report your status to me ASAP.=/\=

Commander Myqian, XO (Cross-posted from Merchant Area thread)

Well, that’s just incredible, Oscar thought to himself. How in the world do I manage to respond without giving away that I don’t actually believe that I’m the Carpenter?

Then he realized exactly how he was going to do it. It was going to be a little bit difficult, but he realized that his isolation suit’s functions would allow him to do certain actions surreptitiously. First, he went behind the Walrus on their jaunt to the Merchant’s area. Then, he muted himself to the outside. Finally, he turned on the reflective screen on his face plate. Hopefully, the Walrus would notice none of this in the fat man’s determination to eat some Ensigns.

=/\= Cascarrabias here. I’m with a Lieutenant (junior grade) calling himself the Walrus, whatever his real name is, and he thinks I’m a guy called the Carpenter. We’re headed to the merchant area to get some cooking supplies. I’d rather not say what he’s intending to cook, though. =/\=

Oscar Cascarrabias
Enigneering

GM Wombat