Posted by Captain Dira Myqian (Commanding Officer) in Resort- Exploring One’s Mind

Posted by Lieutenant Dr. Mariah Lee Grayson (Chief of Psychiatry) in Resort- Exploring One’s Mind

Posted by Captain Dira Myqian (Commanding Officer) in Resort- Exploring One’s Mind

(snip)

If Mariah relied solely on Dira’s words, she might’ve believed they had made no progress at all. In fact, verbally speaking, it had seemed they were right back where they started. However,, Grayson knew something had shifted. The long pauses, the hesitation, all pointed to the opportunity for change. It wouldn’t be unreasonable to think a therapist. turned Captain would need time to let words sink in. “Sometimes it’s less scary to think about the possibility of losing everything you ever wanted than it is to think about the possibility of it succeeding beyond your wildest dreams.“

~Dr. Mariah Grayson, CoP

A snort erupted before Dira could fully process the reaction. She smirked at Grayson. “Well, at least if I have specific issues we’re being consistent. It’s not the first time I’ve struggled with my confidence. I did at the beginning of my psychiatry career too. Had a bunch of poor outcomes in a row that made me question whether I was even meant for that path. I had to push through just like I do now.”

Drawing in a deep breath and rolling her shoulders she gazed at Mariah and felt calmer, even if the worry hadn’t fully gone away. “I have another confession,” she said, slightly sheepish. “So, I’m going through medical testing to see if I have some sort of underlying condition that’s been causing a list of really random symptoms. It’s all been minor and frankly a lot of it could have just been what a person experiences when they are under stress and until I got dizzy in the shower. They’ve definitely found things that are off but there’s no discernible cause, so treating any of it is problematic. And it’s honestly it’s been more annoying than anything” She gazed out over at the ocean waves rolling onto the sandy beach. “I know this is adding to the pressure I feel to be a good captain, to be someone they can’t find fault in. I know that intellectually, but all of it together leaves me… scared.”

Captain Myqian, CO

Mariah’s compassion and concern only grew as she listened to Dira reveal her medical struggles. While the captain had every right to keep her physical condition private for as long as she wished, Grayson appreciated she was no longer choosing to do so, both as a clinical piece to the puzzle and as a sign of her trust in Mariah. “Feeling scared is completely understandable in these circumstances. Thank you for trusting me with this. Would you like me to coordinate with your medical team. Perhaps if we all put our heads together, we can come up with with ways to get to the bottom of this mystery and support you as much as possible at the same time.” Grayson knew her suggestion might make the other woman uncomfortable, as even though mine and body shared a strong connection, revealing emotions and psychological struggles required a certain level of vulnerability that at the very least matched the most intimate and invasive physical exam.

~Dr. Mariah Grayson, CoP

Dira rubbed the fingers of her right hand with her left, as if she could dampen the stealth anxiety that seemed to surface more often than she would like lately. She drew in a deep breath, letting it fill her lungs and expand her ribcage. She focused on the careful process of exhalation that drew the brath out of her body in a measured pace. “Soon, but not yet,” she said.

“I am not going to discount there is a psychological component to my illness, but I want to give them time to run some more tests first and see where we end up.” She gazed at Mariah. “How about I call you into the situation when we get a bit farther into the process?”

Captain Myqian, CO

Mariah nodded. She didn’t want to overwhelm Dira or leave her feeling torn, just supported. “That’s absolutely fine,” Grayson replied. “Just know I’m here when you need.”

~Dr. Mariah Grayson, CoP

Dira nodded and exhaled audibly, her shoulders dropping. “I know it’s all a process and there’s only so much a person can examine at any one time. You’ve given me things to think about for sure. Shall we meet again soon, back on the ship?”

OOC: I think that will tie us into current threads easier, if that works for you too. :)

Captain Myqian, CO

“That sounds like a plan,” Mariah replied with a nod. She wished she had a magic wand to take everyone’s worries away, but in the absence of that, Mariah was content to know people knew she was there for them.

OOC: That works great! Apologies for taking so long. RL and health stuff reared up but I’m finally on an even keel.

~Dr. Mariah Grayson, CoP