Posted by Lieutenant Corinne Dalton (Scientist) in Meeting Cori

Posted by Lieutenant Corinne Dalton (Scientist) in Meeting Cori

Posted by Lieutenant Corinne Dalton (Scientist) in Meeting Cori
Posted by… suppressed (13) by the Post Ghost! 👻

(snip)

Corinne’s self-awareness, if the term ‘self’ could still be applied in the traditional sense, struck Mariah as deeper than some so called flesh and blood beings. Still, Grayson cautioned herself internally not to project too much onto Dalton. She may have been throiugh things that gave her a unique level of maturity, but she had also been through trauma, and she needed a place where she could be herself, even if that meant she wasn’t evolved in the ways people believed, Mariah included. “Tell me more about that.”

~Dr. Mariah Grayson, CoP

Cori chewed on the inside of her cheek. “I realized recently that I have a pattern of trying to seek reassurance. And that is probably because I was orphaned as a baby and then my adoptive parents were killed by the Klingons on Ajilon. I get scared to get too close, and right now, I have the potential to have lots of great things. I’m trying to be a scientist again, but it’s weird because I sort of stopped doing research and stuff after… the incident, because suddenly I had the entire Federation library in my head. I could reference anything. Now I can’t, so I’m trying to find a way to be useful. And then I worry if I can’t be useful, then what’s the point of my being here, of being in Starfleet still?”

~Corinne Dalton

“Or existing in general?” Mariah asked, thinking it necessary to speak aloud the unspoken possible thought. Dalton’s thoughts on her own challenges were insightful, but Mariah knew insight didn’t always translate into behavvior change. Beyond a need for reassurance, Grayson considered Dalton vulnerable to seeking connection with less than ideal candidates…such as a former therapist.

~Dr. Mariah Grayson, CoP

Cori frowned. “No, I wouldn’t go that far. I am having to be alive, to try and live my life. But it’s daunting to try and imagine a life beyond the uniform. I don’t know if I can.”

~Corinne Dalton

Mariah was glad to hear Cori’s thoughts weren’t of a suicidal nature and she nodded at the mention of the daunting task before her. “That’s not an uncommon sentiment among members of Starfleet are truly anyone that has done something for a long time. I wonder, what would happen if you stopped trying to imagine what life would look like beyond the uniform and instead focsed on just taking things one day at a time?”

~Doctor Mariah Grayson, CoP

She grinned. “You sound like Royal. It’s what he’s been encouraging me to do. And it’s been nice just trying to get to know this new body and experience my life through it. Some days are really hard but it’s been nice to have him as a sounding board. Especially since I don’t have to explain everything to him. He already knows.”

~Corinne Dalton

Royal. Mariah filed that away in her mind. She knew she had to tread lightly, not just because Royal was a shipmate, but also because she wanted to build genuine rapport with Cori and it would be unfair of her to overreact to their closeness. Still, she was keeping the facts in mind and considering the possible complications. It was Mariah’s job to see around potentially dangerous emotional corners. “I’m sure it is nice to have that level of comfort with someone, especially since in so many areas of your new life you’re having to adjust and explain to people like me who don’t yet know, ” she added with a smile. “Still, aren’t we always changing? I wonder if what we know of others has a degree of an expiration date as well?”

~Dr. Marriah Grayson, CoP

Cori fiddled with her fingers and looked down at her lap. “I suppose that’s always true. I guess i’ve just bene the one dealing with everyone else’s changes and expected to just go with it, but few were concerned with the changes that I was going through too. At least until right before I… disappeared and then appeared here on the Ogawa.

~Corinne Dalton

Bump

Bump

“What’s that been like? Dealing with other people’s changes?” Mariah could imagine and even speculate aloud with sympathy, but her goal was to draw Cori out and give her space to express herself freely.

~Dr. Mariah Grayson, CoP

“Before, on the Saracen, it was so confusing. And frustrating. I wanted to be supportive, but I felt forgotten, neglected. Here though, it’s different. Royal is the only person here I knew before and I don’t know that’s really all that different. If anything, he seems more like I remember.- reassuring, encouraging, compassionate.” Cori smiled warmly, more to herself than anything. “I guess being on the Ogawa with a new flesh and blood body feels like a re-set of sorts. Everything else did happen before, but that was all back there,” she said gesturing behind her. “I know I can’t just pretend all that crap didn’t happen, but maybe, finally it my time. Maybe I can have the good stuff too. I want to believe I can, even if it’s terrifying.”

~Corinne Dalton

Mariah smiled. Despite all Cori had been through, she had still managed to remain hopeful and open to others. “The key is to feel the fear and do the things that scare you anyway. I think what you’re saying is, and feel free to correct me if I get it wrong, you’re looking to accept what’s happened in your past and to find the meaning in it, but not to be defined by it?”

~Dr. Mariah Grayson, CoP

She found herself nodding before the words came to her lips. “Yeah, yeah I do.” Cori smirked. “And I’m a little surprised by it actually, but I guess when I really step back and look at it all, there were a lot of crappy things that happened. Things I was rightfully angry about, and sad about. But I don’t want to be sad and angry the rest of my life. Seems a waste given I have a chance to have happiness in my life. It seemed so fleeting before, but now it’s almost something tangible I can hold.”

~Corinne Dalton

Bump

Mariah smiled. “Optimism is a wonderful state of mind. I suppose the important thing to remember is there will be ups and downs, and that’s OK too.“

~Dr. Mariah Grayson, CoP

She nodded and gave a small snort. “You don’t have to remind me about that one. That part I got down, trust me.” After the life Cori had lived so far, it felt like there had been more downs than ups, but part of her task right now was to remember the ups and make sure she didn’t discount them.

~Corinne Dalton

Mariah nodded. “I’m here to support you however I can. My door is always open to you, and I hope you don’t mind that we’ll meet regularly.”

~Dr. Mariah Grayson, CoP

Cori gave a soft smile. “Not at all. I think I will welcome the feedback as I go along. This is all still new enough that I know there are going to be moments where I hit a wall or two and need help navigating everything.”

~Corinne Dalton

Bump

Bump

Mariah smiled. “I’m glad to hear you’re open to meeting regularly. Sometimes, I wish more people would be open to checking in.“ Grayson took a moment to consider if there was anything else she needed to say before offering, “I think we’ve made a good start. . Before I let you go and enjoy the rest of your day, is there anything else you think we should discuss?“

~Dr. Maria Grayson, CoP