Posted by Lieutenant Commander Drake Marshall (Surgical Chief/ Emergency Medicine) in Post Sim - Mentorship, for Better or Worse

Posted by Captain Dira Myqian (Commanding Officer) in Post Sim - Mentorship, for Better or Worse

Posted by Lieutenant Commander Drake Marshall (Surgical Chief/ Emergency Medicine) in Post Sim - Mentorship, for Better or Worse
Posted by… suppressed (16) by the Post Ghost! 👻

(snip)

=/\=I may have accidentally started down that command path we were talking about. I’m mentoring a resident.=/\= Drake was starting to pace nervously. He had never been a teacher or mentor before and he typically avoided high risk versions of new situations.

-Lt Cmdr Drake Marshall

He might not be able to see her smile across the comm, but it likely it came through in her tone. =/\=Funny how that happens, isn’t it? How are you feeling about it?=/\=

Captain Myqian, CO

=/\=Freaked out enough to call you?=/\= Drake was honest. =/\=Did an operation with a resident when the ship was falling apart and the kid was all nerves and he needs help. So we’re gonna build up his skills and confidence. But I really wasn’t planning on having a resident to mentor outside the newbies passing through as surgical residents.=/\=

-Lt Cmdr Drake Marshall

There was a long pause. =/\=Did you want to come up here or should I come down to you. Either is fine with me actually.=/\= She could use and excuse to get out of her office and stop staring at the pile of reports accumulating ever since they had docked properly at the Outpost. But she also knew if she left, it would be awhile before she’d get any other work done. Right now she wanted to support Drake, so however that happened, she would figure out the rest.

Captain Myqian, CO

=/\=Want to visit Sickbay?=/\= Drake chuckled. He checked his computer. Not far from checkout time. Drake sat down behind his desk and tried to relax. Ship falling apart, injuries everywhere, no problem. Responsibility for one person, problem.

-Drake Marshall

=/\=Give me ten.=/\=

Dira finished up what she needed to and made her way down to Deck 5. Since she was expected, she rapped her knuckles on the frame of his door and stepped in.

The captain settled into a chair and crossed her legs at the knee, leaning back. “So, a more experienced resident is different than an intern, but what part of it is freaking you out?” she asked, mirroring his wording.

Captain Myqian, CO

“He’s not a surgical resident who’s been assigned to me. It’s not baked into our job descriptions that I nitpick his technique. He’s a hospitalist. Barely got through his surgical rotation and when we had an emergency… he froze. Kept the patient alive but had no clue how to improvise, work the patient in front of him. At first I figured it can’t hurt the ship to have another well trained set of hands. So I got the all-clear and offered him a part time surgical position. A little rotation with me to build some confidence and skill so the next time the ship blows up, we’ve got a good surgeon on the floor. But then he accepted. Kinda thought he wouldn’t. Just take the good news our patient is alive and say thanks but no thanks. Surgical residents, it’s their job to report to me. Someone just volunteered for it. Go back and tell the me who’d just gotten here that he’s on the path to being a mentor… made me think about our conversation too. About additional training and all that…” He drifted off. He wasn’t the same person he had been. A young jock trying to machismo his trauma away. Suddenly he was older. The mentor doctor with experience and perspective. The effect of twelve years of medical practice, half of it on the Ogawa.

-Drake Marshall

Dia gave him a soft smile. “I think you’re pretty damn lucky, and I know you think so too. How often do we get someone who we can genuinely help who take us up on our offer?” She chuckled. “Ahh, Drake, you have t remember I was a practicing psychiatrist for many years, and I started my residency in the post-War period. All my patients were traumatized and many couldn’t be helped enough to keep their careers. I lost three to self-harm. And I’ll tell you, I nearly packed up and went home after that third one. How the hell was I expected to help anyone? But I did my own therapy and I worked through it. I stuck it out and things got better.”

She sat forward, resting an arm on the desk. “You can correct me if I’m wrong, but I suspect you’re feeling the weight of responsibility. That you are afraid of messing up and making this resident worse off.” Myqian gestured to outside of the office. “Because out there you hold lives in your hands, but it’s their physical bodies. You patch them up and others see them through the aftermath. But as a leader? Well, you don’t that luxury. The mental and emotional well-being of the people you are responsible for becomes your responsibility too. And it is tough. Because you will make mistakes. You won’t get it right every time, and we both know all too well what happens when we make mistakes. And there is really only one answer to this dilemma. Do you know what that is?”

Captain Myqian, CO

“You’ve pretty well got me.” Drake admitted with a smirk. “So what’s the answer to this dilemma?” He feared he knew what she was about to say, but had to let her actually say it before he could be snarky about it.

-Drake Marshall

“Admit when we screw up, ask for forgiveness when our actions hurt others, figure out what to do differently for next time, and lean on those we trust to see us through. No more, no less. The mistakes will happen, but how you handle it? It will define everything about your career going forward.” Dira looked around his office and shook he head. “Ask me how I know,” she said, though her tone came off more sarcastic, rather than genuine.

Captain Myqian, CO

Drake sat with it. Everything she said made sense. “It still feels like if I screw this up… it closes a door. Proves that everybody’s right and I’m best kept socializing with the surgical tools.” He laughed half-heartedly. Didn’t seem to matter how long he was practicing, that fear was a part of him. Burned in so deep it might not heal all the way no matter what Drake did.

-Drake Marshall

Dira was quiet for several moments, letting his words percolate through her mind. “I know the feeling,” she said softly. “But at some point we both have to decide if the attempt is worth the risk. I did, by accepting the position of Commanding Officer, but it doesn’t mean I’m not scared of messing up, Drake. Hell, I’ve already made a fatal mistake, and that’s on me, but I also know I couldn’t have known things would get so bad. We can speculate so far into the future that we paralyze ourself now in the present. And that will just create a self-fulfilling prophecy.” She leaned forward again. “You’re allowed to be afraid, but don’t let the fear be the thing that makes any mistake worse than it could be.”

Captain Myqian, CO

“There’s a reason I called for you.” Drake laughed. “Superior officer and psychiatrist. So… how do you deal with that? All the pressure and worry. I know how I deal with it in surgery but this resident isn’t a patient. Accept that I’m going to make mistakes is all well and good, but I still need to unfreeze.”

-Drake Marshall

She sat back in her chair and let her thoughts percolate. “There are different ways. One I recommend, and sometimes do for myself, is to write out all the worst case scenarios of various levels. All the fears I have. And then one by one I work through what I would do if that scenario happened. How would I handle it? Sometimes just knowing you have options in those scenarios takes the pain out of the possibility and it allows it to fade into the background. Yes, they are still fears, but I then know they are more manageable.”

Captain Myqian, CO

“Makes sense.” Drake mulled it all over. Then he started to laugh. “Give the surgeon a plan, a backup plan, and a backup backup plan. You’re quite the psychiatrist.” He held his tongue after that. Whatever he wanted to think, he had to remember he was just seeking advice from a superior.

-Lt Cmdr Drake Marshall, M.D.

She could feel the resistance, the pulling back. It was normal though and Dira understood it. “Plans are where you start, not the end all and be all. You ahve to be able to adapt, right?”

Captain Myqian, CO

Drake nodded. “Improvise and adapt. I’ve done this kind of thing before but this is the first time the trainee under my guidance isn’t training for a job in surgery. He’s just volunteering for emergency preparedness training.”

-Lt Cmdr Drake Marshall, M.D.

Dira smiled. “And that helps too. The stakes aren’t less, but they are different. Just remember that your resident already has a base training and your job is to instil confidence in their ability to grow and learn. They’ve had a set-back and that can make them second-guess their choices, so you just have to go forward mindfully while not letting them wallow in whateever guilt they might still carry.”

Captain Myqian, CO

Drake shrugged. “That might be it. He’s not even trying to be a surgeon. This is just preparation so he’s not so panicky if we need his help again.”

-Lt Cmdr Drake Marshall, M.D.

Dira nodded. “And given our mission profile, we just might. We hope not, but I like that you’re being proactive about it all.” She gave him a smile. “See? Look at you doing the whole good leader thing.”

Captain Myqian, CO

Drake couldn’t help but smile at that. “You always know what I need to hear. Maybe I’m going to pull off this whole ‘leader’ thing.” The thought made him chuckle. He never could’ve anticipated that feeling of accepting being ready.

-Lt Cmdr Drake Marshall, M.D.

Dira chuckled. “Well, I like to think my experiences and training help me a lot, but here’s the other secret I’ve learned in my time as an XO and now CO. We’re taught you’re only as good as your crew, but what they don’t always teach you specifically is that nurturing talent and ambition is not always intuitive. You have to trust your instincts and be willing to make mistakes. My goal as a captain on this ship is to support every crew member in whatever way they need, so that as a group we can accomplish our mission. But obviously I can’t attend to every crew member, every day. It’s just not possible. That’s why nurturing a supportive chain of command is so important. Every captain has their own style, but you’ll notice mine is collaborative. Yes, I expect that when I give orders, they will be followed, but before I give those orders, I will always try to gather information from those far more knowledgeable than I so that I stand a chance of making the best decision. I think in medicine this is a harder practice but also even more important.”

She patted her hands on the desk. “Well, now that I have dealt with this crisis”-she winked at him-“I’ll leave you to your mentoring.”Dira rose to her feet and smiled. “I’m glad you called, Drake. My door is always open, but I’m glad people are makign use of it when needed.”

Captain Myqian, CO