Posted by Lieutenant Corinne Dalton (Scientist) in Meeting Cori

Posted by Lieutenant Dr. Mariah Lee Grayson (Chief of Psychiatry) in Meeting Cori

Posted by Lieutenant Corinne Dalton (Scientist) in Meeting Cori
Posted by… suppressed (3) by the Post Ghost! 👻

(snip)

“Confirmation bias,” Mariah replied with a nod. “A common flaw of sentient beings, but no less harmful to missions and to relationships, especially relationships between senior officers and their crew.” Grayson positive, then offered, “I don’t have to tell you we lack the ability to police one another’s thoughts, but I can promise you we do have the ability to police one another’s actions to create an atmosphere which discourages marginalizing people because of ignorance. I can tell you the Captain cares very much about you and wants to see to it you are given fair treatment and a safe place to be.”

~Doctor Mariah Grayson, CoP

Her expression softened into a smile. “Yeah, I’ve been pretty wary of captains these last years, but Myqian seems… different. I mean, she agreed to the whole thing that allowed me to have a body, so points in her favour. Not everyone would have. It was risky as hell and I am mindful of the risks everyone took to make sure I actually had a future. There’s still a lot of unanswered questions, but no longer doubt that I have a place here.”

~Corinne Dalton

“I’m glad you feel welcome here, though I know it’s going to take time to feel completely comfortable. I just want you to know whatever you say, I won’t be upset or offended. Kindness and care can be appreciated, but trust is earned and not one-sided. I’m curious to know how you believe I can help you adjust?” Mariah thought it best to give Cori room to take the lead. Naturally, Grayson had her own questions, but in keeping with her intention not to make Cori feel as though she were under the microscope and expected to comply or else, she thought it best to allow her to express whatever she felt comfortable.

~Dr. Mariah Grayson, CoP

Cori drew in a deep breath and sighed. “I was working through a lot of stuff with my last therapist before I was… whisked away, as it were. I was trying to wrap my mind around a whole bunch of betrayal and a sense that I didn’t rate very high in people’s priorities, even when I should have been way up there. But… that’s changed. I know that things are different, but I also have a very different relationship with that therapist since they are no longer my therapist and life has conspired to bring us… unexpectedly closer.” She smiled ever so softly before shaking her head. “In short, I don’t have anyone to work through all this sh!t with. I have a good decade of stuff I need to figure out, and while some of it I can let go, the rest is still… a lot. It’s easy to push it to the side and pretend it’s not there, but I want to be fully myself and I don’t want to carry all that trauma with me forever.”

~Corinne Dalton

Mariah smiled and nodded. “I respect that, and I’m happy to work down your list. It might be best to start with exploring what coping skills you’ve learned and make sure you know what to do if you feel overwhelmed. Perhaps you can start by telling me a bit more about your work with your last therapist?” Small alarm bells began to ring for Grayson at the mention of a growing closeness with her prior therapist. Though they were no longer professionally engaged, some lines a therapist just shouldn’t cross, in Mariah’s opinion.

~Dr. Mariah Grayson, CoP

It was hard to know where to begin and how much to dig into, nor or ever again. Maybe it was all done now that she was no longer on the Saracen and those involved were no longer in her life. “Well, at first he did a basic assessment. But it was more than that. He was testing my sentience, to see if I really was still me.” She smirked. “Passed with flying colours. Apparently I wear my emotions on my face.”

“But a big thing was helping me navigate not feeling like I had a place on the ship, even though I couldn’t ever leave at the time, except with my mobile emitter. A part of that was getting me my own quarters. I didn’t need them for biological reasons, but it was the idea of having a space of my own that wasn’t me rattling about the computer system or in the holodeck. About the time he ended up switching positions and going back to a security role, he was helping me look for my missing ballet shoes. They were the only personal item I had left from my life on Ajilon. I was obsessed with finding them and he was a good friend and helped me look.”

“Other than that, we were working through a lot of intense feelings I had bout some previous relationships I had had. I realized I felt betrayed by them in so many ways, that I went from being aloof and emotionally unavailable to throwing myself into them entirely and giving too much of myself away. I can look back now and see that I had experienced so much abandonment that I wanted someone to choose me and stay with me. He rightly suggested a moratorium on relationships for awhile till I could work through everything. It helped, though I”-she did air quotes-“disappeared before I could claim my space fully on the ship. Things are so different now.”

She wasn’t sure if that was too much at once and frowned.

~Corinne Dalton

Mariah listened carefully to everything Dalton offered. Some of it was to be expected - the assessments to determine sentience and understandable desire to reestablish a sense of belonging, to include a physical place to be. Grayson also appreciated her candor concerning the core of her being still remained, from small things like ballet slippers to bigger things like holding onto relationships more than a little tightly. She wondered to herself if the closeness Cori now shared with her former therapist was just the reemergence of a familiar pattern, a desire to hold on to something familiar when everything she knew had abandoned her. Grayson kept the thought to herself for now. She needed more information and saw no reason to alienate anyone before things got started.

Instead she offered, “Well, perhaps I can help where he left off? If the two of you have been able to continue, what do you suppose would be the next step?”

~Doctor Mariah Grayson, CoP