Posted by Commander Dr. Royal Sinclair (Executive Officer) in Deck 9 - Shadows Are Not Immune To Light

Posted by Captain Dira Myqian (Commanding Officer) in Deck 9 - Shadows Are Not Immune To Light

Posted by Commander Dr. Royal Sinclair (Executive Officer) in Deck 9 - Shadows Are Not Immune To Light

(snip)

Sinclair looked back at her unflinchingingly. “That’s a load of shite and you know it, but I’ll let it slide this time. And he didn’t do more, Dira. ‘What if’ yourself much more and you’ll talk yourself out of the command chair.” He looked ahead and paused, then got to his feet. He offered her a hand and said “So what’s it to be? ‘What if he had’ until you fall so far into the rabbit hole we cannae pull ya out? Or do we stop with ‘what if’ and start in on ‘now what’?”

Sinclair, XO

Wasn’t she already in a deep hole? And now he was asking her to climb out of it. She didn’t know if she could. Certainly her command was quite the carrot he thought it might or should be. She had already been full of doubt from the first moment and through different conversations she could check her negative beliefs. But that hadn’t fully gone away. Maybe it never would but right now sitting in this hellish space wasn’t making her feel any better. She reached up and set her hand in his.

Letting him help, she pushed herself to her feet and held his hand tight. Very tight. “I’m so afraid of everything. And I hate it. I’ve tried just focusing on the ship and the good things around me but it’s not enough to quell the fear. It’s maddening some days.”

Captain Myqian, CO

He didn’t release her hand, but set his other on her shoulder. “It’s okay to be afraid. If you weren’t, we’d be havin’ a whole different conversation. But what you have to try and remember… to internalize… is that you aren’t alone anymore. You don’t have to face this by yourself. You have literally hundreds of us with you. And where you go… we go.”

Sinclair, XO

The person she felt most comfortable unburdening herself to was Zoi. Who was amazing. But she hadn’t told Zoi about William’s ultimate plan. She hadn’t told anyone, and she still didn’t know why. Her shoulders dropped but not in some sort of defeat, but a release of tension. Finally, she nodded very slowly. “Intellectually, i know that. But it’s a bit like I told you before. It felt hard socially as the XO. It’s even worse as the Captain, especially since there are a lot of people gossiping about it. I can just ignore it, but then it’s pushing people away. I’m too new to the captaincy. I don’t know what that balance is supposed to look and feel like for me yet.”

Captain Myqian, CO