Posted by Captain Dira Myqian (Commanding Officer) in Ready Room- Onwards and Upwards~Dr. Mariah Grayson, Chief of Psychiatry

Posted by Lieutenant Junior Grade Dr. Mariah Lee Grayson (Chief of Psychiatry) in Ready Room- Onwards and Upwards~Dr. Mariah Grayson, Chief of Psychiatry

Posted by Captain Dira Myqian (Commanding Officer) in Ready Room- Onwards and Upwards~Dr. Mariah Grayson, Chief of Psychiatry
Posted by… suppressed (5) by the Post Ghost! 👻

(snip)

Maria didn’t exactly know what to expect when she was summoned, but hearing the captain now, she decided what she heard definitely wasn’t it. Rather than allow her brain to spiral into many different directions, she focused on the question, taking a beat to formulate her answer. “I’ve always been the happiest aboard medical vessels,” Grayson offered sincerely. “Don’t get me wrong, I I truly enjoy clinical practice wherever I am, but there’s just something about serving aboard a ship with like-minded people that can be energizing. That’s not to say there isn’t tensions at times between various medical specialties, but for a clinician like myself, serving aboard the Ogawa makes the challenges rewarding. I’d like to think I have provided some consistency when there has been a lot of changes in the department.”

~Dr. Mariah Grayson, Psychiatrist

Dira inhaled and blew out her breath slowly. “Indeed. And those constant changes are a part of why I called you up here. You have the experience and understanding of this ship and its needs. That’s important right now, especially as Dr. Almikaz is no longer with us. It’s quite a sudden and unexpected change, but it leaves us without a Chief of Psychiatry and I need a new one. I’d like that person to be you, Mariah.”

Captain Myqian, CO

Mariah was enough of a professional to remind herself to take a few moments to gather her thoughts before responding, but her honest to goodness immediate emotional reaction was to ask why now? She had been previously overlooked many times, and that didn’t really bother her. In fact, she had learned to count herself lucky that she had escaped all the administrative tasks that came with such a role and any number of other upsides. Grayson simply stopped thinking of other possibilities.

Now that it was here, however, she was filled with a variety of mixed feelings. “I’m honored,” she managed to reply in which she hoped wasn’t too many awkward beats later.”Is Dr. Almikaz ok?” Mariah couldn’t help but recall the trouble the other psychiatrist had shared with her.

~Dr. Mariah Grayson, Chief of Psychiatry

Dira nodded. “She is. She had an opportunity elsewhere and felt it was the best move for her. I’m sad to see her go, but I know all to well that sometimes you have to take those leaps when they present themselves.”

She leaned forward, folding her arms on her desk, her dark eyes gazing deeply at Mariah. “Is that a yes?”

Captain Myqian, CO

Taking a professional leap was exactly what brought Mariah to the Ogawa in the first place. This wasn’t the first time she had served aboard a medical vessel, of course, but she loved service on such vessels, which was why she had done whatever she could to keep serving aboard them.

Centering herself inwardly, Mariah gave herself a moment to feel everything she was feeling - honored, certainly, but also apprehensive. She had come to believe this opportunity might never come and had spent so much time convincing herself she was happier without the responsibility, a part of her now feared she would live up to the expectations others had a right to set of her and she would set for herself.

As had always happened, however, any frustrations, uncertainty, or just plain dislikeof her work that surfaced always gave way to all the reasons she maintained a passion for her work, including being genuinely challenged by the invisible wounds people carried and the sincere satisfaction she felt helping them feel more at ease in their own skins. Why wouldn’t she want to lead a team of people who dedicated their careers to doing just that?

Mariah’s smile slowly built until it appeared there was a beam that shown from her eyes. “That’s a yes, Captain. Thank you for the honor and the trust behind it. I will do my very best for this crew, always.”

~Dr. Mariah Grayson, Chief Psychiatrist

Dira smiled. “I’m glad,” she said. “Now, Doctor Almikaz has left all her notes and things someone might need to know, but understand that I’m not expecting you to just jump in without guidance. I’m happy to share my experience with you however you need.” It helped that she had had the role before as well, but also part of her job now was to guide and mentor as needed. It was honestly one of the things she really loved about command.

“Any questions or concerns?”

Captain Myqian, CO

“I appreciate that,” Mariah replied sincerely to the offer of guidance, “and I’m sure I’ll take you up on it once I get my bearings under me.” She paused then, considering her next words and understanding it was not the easiest transition given the high of her promotion. “One of the things driven home to me in talking with Dr. Almikaz is that no matter how skilled any of us are, we all need support and are incapable of seeing the noses on her own faces, as it were. I would be derelict in my own new duties if I didn’t offer my own support to you as personal and command advisor. I don’t presume to know you well, but I hope that will come over time. I know none of us can get through the trials and tribulations of life alone.”

~Dr. Mariah Grayson, Chief of Psychiatry

Dira’s expression was stoic for a moment before it softened. “I appreciate that. I’m not going to lie, Mariah, this is rough for me, but it has nothing to do with you specifically. I was just starting to build a solid rapport with Dr. Almikaz, and now....” Her gaze drifted off for a brief moment. “I’m just trying to get my own feet under me, but there is this feeling that because I was the first officer, that I should’t need it. But so much has changed recently. I’ve changed. I don’t know what to do with it all, but I’m just taking one step, one decision at a time.” It wasn’t that she couldn’t share her feelings, but more that Dira was trying to figure out what her captain’s persona truly was, what her command style was, and marry that with what she believed the crew needed and expected of her.

Captain Myqian, CO

“That’s all any of us can do,” Mariah agreed with a nod, “and I don’t take any of what you’re saying or feeling as a personal slight. You don’t need my permission and I don’t mean it in this way, but you’re allowed to feel whatever you feel about all of this. The command uniform doesn’t give you super powers,” she added with a grin. She paused then, considering whether she should say more. “I’m aware several crewmembers are dealing with the impact of not so distant traumas. I don’t know all the details for everyone as out of respect for confidentiality, I left that to individual therapists, but I’ll bring myself up to speed and make a point to reach out.”

~Dr. Mariah Grayson, COP