Posted by Commander Dr. Royal Sinclair (Executive Officer) in Lounge- Getting to Know You

Posted by Captain Dira Myqian (Commanding Officer) in Lounge- Getting to Know You

(snips)

“I’m sure.” Royal said with a smile. “But know that if you ever feel lost, you can talk to me. I won’t think less of you if you ask for support or help… but I will if you don’t. Fair enough?” he asked with all sincerity.

Royal

Dira gazed at him deeply for a moment before she nodded and sighed a little. She shifted her gaze out to the window, letting her thoughts coalesce. “I.. will admit to feeling a little off-kilter, less steady, than I usually am. And yes, it’s expected. A lot has happened and changed in a relatively short period of time.” She returned her gaze to Royal. “I’m worried I can’t manage this transition, that I’ll let the crew down. Some of this isn’t rational, I know, and the rest is just some overwhelm, but it wasn’t all that long ago I was admitting to Captain Taylor that I felt disconnected from the crew and that I wasn’t the XO they really needed. Some of that had eased but it’s been harder lately.”

~Dira

Royal nodded and said “That is understandable. But, if I can throw my Cou senor hat on for a moment, I think you may be in a better position now to forge that connection. The crew will instinctively look to you for direction. Officers want to serve under strong, competent commanders. Your role is to now provide that foundation for them. And my job is to support you and make sure you can do that. And, if I see you about to make a mistake, try and talk to you about it.” He took a breath and smiled. “They want toconnect with you, Captain. That’s half your battle won right there.”

Royal

She drifted her gaze off to the side, once again contemplating the expansiveness of space. His presumption sat oddly with her. Was it because she didn’t believe it? Dira was pretty good at inspecting her own thoughts, and right now she could, but she also didn’t know how to respond. Was it true? There were small examples of it, but beyond those odd cases, it… she pushed the thought out of her head. No. There was enough evidence that there were people willing to get to know her. But why did it feel so weird? “You’re right, even if it feels somehow disingenuous at times. Certainly the healthy grapevine here isn’t helping. It’s one thing to portray a persona to people. It’s quite another to get snippets of what people are talking about and know that your drama is the fodder for everyone. I know it will pass, but I’ve not exactly bene interested in having a public discussion about it all, even if it would correct some of the perceptions.”

~Dira

Royal shrugged and finished his drink. “But it’s not about what you are interested in anymore… is it? Thats one advantage the XO has over the CO, I think. I can still claim some sense of selfishness with regards to my wants, and it doesn’t effect the crew. You don’t have that luxury anymore, I don’t think. Your ship… your crew… they are your only priority now. That hard part is juggling what that means without losing yourself.”

Royal

Dira snorted. “It’s worse yet. In order to be that respected person that people trust, all captains have to find that outward image they can portray with confidence. Mine is… hastily constructed I fear. And I don’t know if that’s a bad thing or not.” That and it felt a little fraudulent. Maybe after she had settled into all these changes, it would either feel less so or become something more authentic, but right now Dira was the epitome of ‘fake it till you make it’, even if a lot of the time that concept was utter crap.

~Dira