Posted by Lieutenant Achilleas Petrakos (Scientist) in Side-sim: Sea breeze

Posted by Lieutenant Solal Segal (Oncology and Immunology) in Side-sim: Sea breeze

Posted by Lieutenant Achilleas Petrakos (Scientist) in Side-sim: Sea breeze
Posted by… suppressed (4) by the Post Ghost! 👻
<snip>
“It’s not complaining but trying to feel better!” Achilleas raised his voice in frustration. He had to take a moment to regain his composure. “That sounds like you’re deflecting. You’re not sleeping well and you’ve hard difficulties meditating but the symptoms causing these things might be better managed than they currently are. You’ve lacked energy and are quickly tired which can be tied to your not eating and not breathing well. The headaches are distracting but that can be relieved too. You were getting dehydrated from obvious reasons, but was it because you were too tired to get up and get a drink? I know that you’re unwell and it sucks but you do not have to feel unwell. That is not how it should be. So why are you not getting treated? No more deflections. I want the truth.”

Solal did not react to the raising of Achilleas’ voice. He shrugged awkwardly. “I was too tired to get up. The exhaustion is… likely made worse by the other things but it is also a symptom of the illness itself. I just…” He sighed and glanced, embarrassedly, at Achilleas, “I don’t like being treated in my own sickbay, by the people I work with.”

Achilleas narrowed his eyes as he weighed the veracity of Solal’s words. It was ridiculous. Ludicrous. About the stupidest reason to feel miserable that he had ever heard. And yet that was just like Solal. “You… don’t want to be treated by people you work with?” He asked quietly. His face was subtly shifting through several emotions. He wanted to laugh, scream, cry, sigh, shake his head, and get up and leave but none of those would help right now so he took a deep breath. “I’m going to make an assumption and you are free to correct me if I’m wrong, but you do know that you’d need to leave the Ogawa for that to no longer be a… issue, right? You have nowhere to go if that’s your major hangup on this. Do we need to get you to Starfleet Medical so that you’ll take care of yourself?”

“No!” Solal shook his head. “I don’t want to be sent away.” He didn’t even want to be on medical leave, except he was aware his mental symptoms made it far too dangerous to do any sort of work, with patients or without. “I am not going to Starfleet Medical. No. I’ve been aboard the Ogawa for nearly three years. I’m not leaving.”

“I don’t want you to go anywhere either. I’m just trying to figure out how to make you most comfortable with getting treated.” Achilleas responded in a placating manner. “It hurts my heart to see you in pain and I’d rather you weren’t. What can we do to make you more willing to get treated?”

“Comfort is an emotional idea,” said Solal, falling back on the comfort of logic. “All I can do to make treatment more ‘comfortable’ is remind myself that to be embarrassed is an emotional, human reaction, and it is an incredibly illogical way to feel. To allow that is to fail myself.”

“You know, you’re being awfully speciest with ascribing emotions to humans all the time. I get that you’re half human and half-Vulcan, but plenty of other races out there have emotions too.” Achilleas joked with a grin. “If logicing yourself is what you need to go more frequently then I’m all for it.”

“Next time I will say non-vulcan of me… Does that satisfy your complaint?” Solal gave Achilleas a look, raised brow and all. “‘Logicing’ myself?”

<snip>
“I hope you have the time for me to finish studying medicine then. I’ll give Doctor Bonner six months to cure you and V’alura but after that I’m going to start studying.” Achilleas said with a very determined expression on his face. His expression slipped a bit at Solal’s next word. “No… that isn’t reassuring at all. I can’t lose you. I won’t lose you or your sister. I will stuff you both into stasis if I need to to have the time to find a cure.”

Sci Petrakos

“Doctor Bonner will cure us before we are in need of stasis.” Solal said again. “I am sure of it. You won’t lose us.” He sighed. “Even if my kidneys do not recover replacing a kidney isn’t too difficult these days. If my mind doesn’t recover I’ll still be alive. We have time before things get untreatably bad.”

~ Solal

“Are you hearing yourself? I’m not going to say that your intellect is all of who you are, but you won’t be you if your mind keeps deteriorating and never recovers. It’d be just like Alzheimer’s from the 21st century. What if you forget me?” Achilleas asked with a slight hitch in his voice.

Sci Petrakos

“I won’t forget you.” There was fear in his voice, he wasn’t meeting Achilleas’ gaze. “It won’t do that.” His answer was, quick, firm. It couldn’t happen. It wouldn’t get that bad. Why had he never considered that? What if that did happen? What if he not only could never practice medicine but was never himself again? What would he do? His breaths quickened. “I don’t know.”

~ Solal

Achilleas did not noticed Solal’s distress preoccupied as he was with his own negative thoughts of being forgotten. With Solal having been his anchor point in reality and to hold on to his sanity, he didn’t know what would become of himself if Solal effectively leaving his life. He dropped his fishing rod into the water and pulled his knees up to his chest. “I can’t lose you.” He said quietly as he hugged his knees.

Sci Petrakos

Solal reeled his rod in and set it on the boat. He needed to calm Achilleas and to do that he needed to calm himself. He couldn’t do it. He was unable to center himself in order to purge his emotions. Gripping the edge of the boat he shook his head. “You won’t. If I were that unwell they would force me to remain in sickbay regardless of my feelings towards it.” He managed to string something reasonable together, voice uneven.

~ Solal

Achilleas shook his head as well. “They already did once. Though it was only for a few hours. What if next time it ends up being overnight or a day?” He wasn’t thinking very rationally but these were valid concerns to him. Though he had family they weren’t what anchored him during his time at Starfleet Medical. He wasn’t allowed to call anyone during his stay, but he wasn’t sure if he would’ve called them even if he could.

Sci Petrakos

“It was only for a few hours, and only because I needed to sleep.” Solal looked at Achilleas. “I’m okay.” Who was he convincing? Achilleas? Or himself? “I’m not going anywhere.” He would need to test his mind. Keep it from deteriorating further. He couldn’t let what Achilleas had suggested happen.

~ Solal