Posted by Lieutenant Achilleas Petrakos (Scientist) in Side sim: Milling about

Posted by Lieutenant Solal Segal (Oncology and Immunology) in Side sim: Milling about

Posted by Lieutenant Achilleas Petrakos (Scientist) in Side sim: Milling about
Posted by… suppressed (21) by the Post Ghost! 👻
<snip>
Solal gave him a look. “It isn’t important. However is comfortable. Straight-backed. Do you prefer to focus on your breathing, nothing, or a candle? Candles are traditional to Vulcan practice.” Solal had started using a calm voice, similar to how he normally sounded when he wasn’t ill, but softer. “I won’t be meditating with you this time, but walking you through the process. Listen to my voice as we go.”

~ Solal

Achilleas grinned before he shrugged and got comfortably cross-legged. He lightly rested his hands together in his lap as he replied. “I guess nothing. We’ll just see how it goes.” He focused his eyes on Solal as he listened to the softening of the tone and cadence of his voice.

Sci Petrakos

“Start out by counting your breaths…” Solal began to walk him through a basic meditation ritual, watching him as they went to see how he was doing with it.

~ Solal

Achilleas did as directed and began to count as each steady breath came in and out. As a musician the aspect of keeping a precise rhythm appealed to him, so each cycle of breath was in a 4/4 time signature. The focus on his breathing began to make Solal’s word fade from his perception. At the moment only the counting existed in his thoughts.

Sci Petrakos

Solal continued to coach him. So far, Achilleas seemed to be doing well with it. Watching him was almost… A little relaxing for Solal as well. Solal quickly noticed Achilleas’ chosen rhythm and was amused by it.

~ Solal

As the blankness further settled upon his mind Achilleas wasn’t counting his breaths any longer. His mind was seemingly at perfect peace. At least it was for a couple minutes. Then thoughts started creeping their way back in. His hysteria in the science labs. After they transported him to sickbay and it took five nurses to restrain him before he was sedated. The in and out of consciousness with voices and light, a revolving pattern of light and the voices! Why could he still hear the voices?! WHAT DID THE VOICES WANT?!? Achilleas was incredibly pale, vibrating with tension and distress, and beading with sweat.

Sci Petrakos

Solal noticed something was wrong and quickly began trying to pull Achilleas out of it. But he didn’t seem to hear Solal. In the end, he set a hand gently on Achilleas’ shoulder. “Achilleas. Achilleas.” He said it a couple of times, trying to get his friend’s attention without startling him too hard.

~ Solal

Achilleas didn’t hear Solal call out to him or even consciously know that he was being touched but his subconscious reacted to being touched and not in a good way. Without being aware of his actions, Achilleas grabbed the hand on his shoulder and pulled it along his body while rotating his torso. The move was an attempt to pull Solal off balance then to the ground.

Sci Petrakos

Solar was not expecting such an immediate, physical response. Tired and ill, he was taken entirely by surprise and yanked by the wrist down, colliding into the ground with a grunt and a couple of coughs. It took him several moments to recover and start to pull himself up. “Achilleas! He repeated, louder this time, alarm and worry in his voice.

~ Solal

Achilleas followed Solal as he hit the ground, positioning himself in a straddling position on his torso. One hand reached for his throat while his other lifted to shoulder height with his fist balled up tightly. His eyes were still vacant as he moved completely on primal instinct and terror.

Sci Petrakos

He was unable to get up, Achilleas had him pinned too quickly. Achilleas didn’t know what he was doing. Solal had to do something, he was in no condition to take a beating. Solal knew how much damage his Vulcan strength could do. He’d done it before, back on Earth. Even weakened, he didn’t want to risk hurting Achilleas in that way. He couldn’t do it, hit Achilleas. His out of control emotions worked against him in every way - too aggressive generally, too sentimental now. The memory of the boy in his class he’d hurt haunted him as he pushed against Achilleas, his lack of focus weakening the move.

~ Solal

The light push caused Achilleas to stop in his action with one hand touching Solal’s throat but without any force to it and his raised fist pulled back but not swinging forward. His eyes blinked a few times as he noticed where he was and what was going on. His eyes lingered on Solal’s face and curiously he only saw concern and worry. He was expecting him to be freaking out or afraid. Like those people in the science lab. Oh god those people. What’s worse is he almost did it to Solal! His head snapped to the side and looked at his still clenched fist. He was about to hit his best friend! His hand slowly unclenched as he started to shake again with deep emotion, hatred for himself and tremendous guilt at almost assaulting Solal. He moved away from Solal and shuffled as far back as he could until his back hit a wall and he pulled his knees up to his chest. There he begin to sob while quietly repeating, “I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry…”

Sci Petrakos

Solal pulled himself up and crouched in front of Achilleas, a small distance away so he wouldn’t feel too trapped, this time careful not to touch him. “It’s okay. You didn’t hurt me. We shouldn’t have attempted that… I didn’t know it would go that poorly.” Solal was okay… A little shaky perhaps, but okay. Apparently he still had some of his emotional control, despite his increasingly unstable emotions. His body felt sore, but he wasn’t going to tell Achilleas so.

~ Solal

Achilleas didn’t hear a word Solal said. Instead he just kind of rocked back and forth while repeating the same words.

Sci Petrakos

“Achilleas.” Repeated Solal, trying to snap him out of it. He did not want to have to call the psych wing. “Achilleas. No harm was done. It’s okay.”

~ Solal

Achilleas stopped saying the words and his rocking slowed to a stop. He looked over his arms that were crossed over the top of his knees at Solal. Grief, panick, embarrassment, guilt, and self directed loathing could be seen cycling through in rapid succession on his face. “I almost hurt you. You’re already very sick and I almost hit you. Despite claiming to be your best friend I was going to harm you. It’s not okay!”

Sci Petrakos

“I’m fine,” said Solal, again denying how ill he was. “It was my fault. I knew meditation could have… Intense outcomes. I should have considered that might happen. You’ve even told me before meditation did not work for you.” He looked at Achilleas, “How can you blame yourself for something you clearly were not aware you were doing?”

~ Solal

Achilleas looked Solal straight in the eyes while tears still streamed from his and said, “Because I’m human.”

Sci Petrakos

Solal lifted a brow and considered the statement. It confused him, what did being human have to do with it? Was he admitting it was a pointlessly illogical action? What argument to that was there? Solal couldn’t argue illogical with logical, he’d tried many times before. Finally he arrived at a response: “Is that a good reason to make yourself pointlessly suffer?”

~ Solal

Achilleas nodded not unlike a child. “Yes.”

Sci Petrakos

“Let’s follow that logic then.” Solal could fashion logic out of non logic. One of the few benefits he had being raised on Earth over Vulcans raised by Vulcans. “I’m half human. Should I have, at least half, allowed my emotional suffering?”

~ Solal

Achilleas shook his head but in disagreement to the premise. “Emotions aren’t done by halves. Either you feel them and the suffering they can bring or you stuff them deep inside to build up until it all comes rushing out.” He slowly unfurled himself and moved over to the candles. While on his knees he picked up the dented candle holder and whispered. “They have a way of coming out that makes no sense or logical derivation. Sometimes we just feel even when we know we shouldn’t.”

Sci Petrakos

Solal snatched the candle holder. An uncharacteristically aggressive move. “I’m going to find a way to fix that. You lack understanding of Vulcan meditation. The emotions are not suppressed but let go. Released without reaction. This,” he smacked the candle holder onto the desk, “is because my illness is attacking my brain and I can’t meditate. Not because of some repression issue.” His emotions, as illogical as they were, had a logical reason for happening. With V’alura sick as well, this had to be a Vulcan illness. It wasn’t some.... some human display of emotion.

~ Solal

Achilleas turned and watched Solal while his own emotions settled back to normal. Solal’s snapping back at him kind of proved his point in a way but he didn’t want to further antagonize him. “Of course, you’re right, I’m sorry.” He said with a soft tone but with his face still a mess from the crying. Perhaps they both needed to take a step back, maybe separate for a bit before they say something or do something they’ll regret… again. He clenched his fist tightly again to keep it from trembling but he didn’t notice he was gripping hard enough that the nails cut his skin.

Sci Petrakos

Solal relaxed a little after the apology. He sat down on the bed with a sigh. What a disaster that had been. Solal should’ve known better. He looked up at Achilleas, “Thanks for helping. Sorry about… That.”

~ Solal