Posted by Lieutenant Commander Alexis Bonner (Assistant Chief Medical Officer) in Family Woes

Posted by Commander Dira Myqian (Executive Officer) in Family Woes

(snip)

Dira couldn’t help but chuckle softly. “Oh, Alexis, I might not know a lot when it comes to you, but I do know you’re not a fairy tale fantasy type of woman. And something that makes another happy at our own expense isn’t always the best idea. But consider if there might be room for compromise?”

She searched Bonner’s face. “I want to ask you something though and you don’t have to answer now, but give it serious consideration. If you have exactly what you need right now, that is fantastic. Go with it. But, you said yes when he asked you to marry you. Maybe a wedding isn’t what you need, but maybe it’s what a part of you wants?”

Commander Myqian, XO

Alexis tipped her head and considered. Did she want a wedding? In any form? She had told Hannah only a few days ago she had no idea what she wanted, she had never thought about it. How could she want something she had never thought about? She sighed, “My father would like you. He would say this was something that I have to understand with my heart and not my head.”

“Love isn’t rational. We can talk about biochemistry and how it creates attraction and attachment, but love isn’t quantifiable. We live in a time and place where we don’t need to pair up in order to continue the species or solidify power and wealth. We can choose a life partner because it’s what we want and how we feel,” Dira said. “Because it makes us happy.”

Alexis rolled her shoulders, she hated this introspective…stuff. “I suppose that it’s inherently understood that if one says yes to a proposal they are agreeing to a wedding.” Alexis’ fingers were tracing out patterns against her thigh. They were actually DNA replication sequences and formulations. “I cannot compromise with her. I don’t even want her there. I didn’t even tell them we were engaged and had no intention of doing so. My mother saw the ring.” Alexis shrugged. “She doesn’t love me. She never has, she…loves what she thought I would be.” This was not a wailed or pitiful or hurt child statement but one that carries the weight of truth and experience. “She doesn’t think I can love anyone, I don’t want her there. I can’t compromise with her, not for myself.”

Bonner

Dira smiled softly as she nodded. “Setting boundaries with loved ones can be one of the hardest things we do. Because we don’t want to hurt them, but we need to protect ourselves from behaviour that could very well be toxic. If you don’t want her there, then that is a perfectly valid decision. Just know that it won’t just be about the wedding. Going forward your relationship will change. It’ll be up to both of you what that looks like, but just understand that it might not make it better.”

Commander Myqian, XO