Posted by Lieutenant Commander Alexis Bonner (Assistant Chief Medical Officer) in Family Woes

Posted by Commander Dira Myqian (Executive Officer) in Family Woes

Posted by Lieutenant Commander Alexis Bonner (Assistant Chief Medical Officer) in Family Woes
Posted by… suppressed (2) by the Post Ghost! 👻

(snip)

Alexis shrugged with one shoulder. “I know that I love quite a lot, but it doesn’t look like how other people love. Perhaps that is more what my mother means. That I can love but not the way people deserve. She certainly has expressed often enough that as a child I was never demonstrative enough. A string of failed first dates would suggest the same. She suggested that Kane is a puzzle I only wish to solve and will become bored. He is not a puzzle, he is a person. I do find him intriguing among other things. I suppose to find him interesting is social wrong to my mother.”

Bonner

At this Dira could smile. “There’s nothing wrong with being intrigued by your partner. Some of the best relationships can be between people who always seem to surprise each other and allow themselves to be revealed over time.”

“And love… Alexis, love looks exactly how it need to to the person you partner with. Everyone loves differently, even if you share values, because each person is unique. How I love, is going to be different than you do, or Kane. Or anyone on this ship, including your parents. Hell, even the way a single people loves over their lifetime can change. I know that myself. Because we grow and evolve.”

“Alexis, regardless of what your mother thinks and whatever has happened between you, do you still want to get married to Solomon Kane?”

Commander Myqian, XO

Alexis tipped her head to the side, “The phrase ‘get married to’ implies the act of getting married, or a wedding. I very much want to be married to him, but the whole event of a wedding I am very indifferent to. My mother thinks that means I don’t love him. A single handful of hours won’t determine our success or happiness. What has come before that moment and after will determine that. In reality we only need to go to Cpt Taylor, I say yes, he says yes, and we’re done. 5 minutes max. That five minutes is no more or less significant than hours after weeks of planning.” They had already said all the promises that mattered to either of them, and that was what was important right? She looked at Myqian quizzeckly, “Or am I missing something?”

Bonner

For a moment Dira was simply quiet, gathering her thoughts. “Perhaps.” She leaned forward a little bit. “Every culture has rituals that mark important events in a person’s life. We experience these rituals sometimes for our own personal fulfillment, and other times as part of community, to build and keep connection. But they don’t all have to have the same meaning to each person, and rarely do. A wedding ceremony, even if it’s short is meant to be a serious ritual where you bond yourself to another person. That’s no small thing. It means something. Even if you don’t go through a legal ceremony, taking the time to do even a small ritual to show your commitment to each other can be a truly gratifying experience. It gives you a wonderful moment to look back on later in your life.”

She smiled warmly. “There is no rule saying you have to do the showy wedding if that’s not what you want. Trust me, I’m Haliian and Betazoid, my parents’s cultures are all about rituals and celebrations. The more, the bigger,” she said with a slight chuckle. “But if all you want is Captain Taylor to marry you and be done with the rest, then do that. But my advice to you is to not rush through that moment. Don’t go into it thinking it’s just something you have to get over and done with. This is about you and Solomon and I believe you owe it to yourselves to find a way to make that moment special, yours. Whatever that might look that. And maybe it includes family who love you and wish only the best for you, however misguided it might come across. Or maybe it doesn’t. But remember that life is so very short sometimes, and you might regret not making at least a tiny fuss about it. Or maybe not.” She shrugged. “Only you two can say for sure.”

Commander Myqian, XO

So she was missing something, then. This should be the big deal her mother was trying to make out of it. Then why did that feel so wrong in the pit of her stomach? Why was everyone else so much more invested in the idea of a wedding than she and Solomon were? Everything else seemed insignificant to when he told her he wanted her to stay, for forever. “What if we have that moment already. All that’s missing is the legal paperwork? I should just give in the fairy tale fantasy my mother wants to create? It would make her happy.”

Bonner

Dira couldn’t help but chuckle softly. “Oh, Alexis, I might not know a lot when it comes to you, but I do know you’re not a fairy tale fantasy type of woman. And something that makes another happy at our own expense isn’t always the best idea. But consider if there might be room for compromise?”

She searched Bonner’s face. “I want to ask you something though and you don’t have to answer now, but give it serious consideration. If you have exactly what you need right now, that is fantastic. Go with it. But, you said yes when he asked you to marry you. Maybe a wedding isn’t waht you need, but maybe it’s what a part of you wants?”

Commander Myqian, XO