Posted by Lieutenant Tija Aizala (Visitor) in XO’s Office - Seeking Advice

Posted by Commander Dira Myqian (Executive Officer) in XO’s Office - Seeking Advice

Posted by Lieutenant Tija Aizala (Visitor) in XO’s Office - Seeking Advice

(snip)

“I know,” Aizala replied as she allowed her guard to slip a little. “I have given similar advice to people regarding their journey of physical recovery so many times. I know healing takes time and can be rushed only so much. Even when I heal a broken bone with an osteoregenrator the body still needs time to fully recover. And yet here I am, struggling to give myself that time and grace. I feel so useless. I’ve been taking care of people for as long as I can remember. And now I can’t in the way I’m used to. In the way I want to. It’s frustrating. All because of something that happened a life time ago coupled with a single thoughtless comment.” For the first time some of the frustration and anger she felt rose close-ish to the surface. But she quickly shoved them back down.

~Lt. Tija, Doctor

Dira’s ebony gaze was intense and full of compassion “Aizala, if you’ll allow me a moment to be a therapist for a second? Maybe the lesson you are being asked learn here is to care for yourself as you would your patients. We health folk are terrible at being patients a lot of the time, but sometimes we need tp practice what we preach, yes?”

Commander Myqian, XO

Aizala nodded and held Dira’s gaze for a moment before looking down into her lap. “You are right. I know that. It’s just so hard to do,” she replied with a soft sigh before looking up again. “I guess I’m afraid. The thought of giving myself time to heal, to let myself actually feel all the emotions I know are inside of me … it feels like losing control and that is terrifying … the times in my life when I felt like I wasn’t in control … none of them were good,” she admitted, both to Dira and to herself.

~Lt. Tija, Doctor

“And that’s why we don’t go through this process on our own,” Dira said softly. ” It can be too much. So you lean on others- a therapist, friends- and you take it one step at a time. But also keep in mind that control is arbitrary. We tell ourselves we need it because it offers safety. So we have to trade a tiny bit of that safety in the pursuit of other things. And don’t you think it’s a worthwhile tradeoff? That there might be something better out there for us if only take the chance?”

Commander Myqian, XO