Posted by Lieutenant Commander Todd Nyman (XO) in “Customary Exam and Questioning”

Posted by Lieutenant Dorian Kelmain (Chief Engineer/Containment Architect) in “Customary Exam and Questioning”

Posted by Lieutenant Commander Todd Nyman (XO) in “Customary Exam and Questioning”
Posted by… suppressed (18) by the Post Ghost! 👻
“Well, come on in then,” Nyman said, stepping to the side enough to let Dorian pass.

Most Vendorians are not true empaths, just very observant. So as the counselor watched Dorian, his mind was desperately grasping for any trace of emotion to latch on to.

It was like walking into a pitch black room, or a silent forest. There was either truly nothing, or nothing he was aware of. Both possibilities equally unsettling.

Nyman still went through with his usual routine, perhaps as a way to make the situation a bit more palatable. But the reports, especially the noted objection from Dr.Miike, were still on his mind. This cyberpsychosis was going to require some… advanced care techniques.

“Take a seat anywhere you like.” he said, gesturing to a collection of chairs and an adjacent sofa overrun by pillows. He walked over to the replicator near the back of the room, closer to the wall of pottery and ceramics that was on display. With another smile, no more or less genuine than his first, he offered,

“Can I get you something?”

|Lt. Nyman, Chief Counselor|

Dorian took a seat at the couch. He had learned early on that with his weight there weren’t many standard pieces of furniture that could support him so, he only allowed as much of his weight to settle as his sensors showed would be half the capacity of the furnishing.

“Thank you doctor. Do you prefer this human guise, full frame, or the brain in a jar?” Dorian asked. The last might have been a joke but it was hard to tell without emotional inflection.

• Dorian, CE/CA

Nyman tilted his head to the side. On top of being an odd question to ask when you first meet someone, it’s something a human wouldn’t normally ask. He purposefully put on an unbothered tone and responded,

“Changing form isn’t necessary. You can if you like, though, I don’t mind.”

After replicating a glass of water he came to sit across from Dorian, plopping down and crossing his legs underneath him.

“So, Lieutenant… where should we start? Where would you like to start?”

|Lt. Nyman, Chief Counselor|

Dorian gave a very human shrug.

“Usually questions start with what exactly does an invoked memory stimulator do and why.” Dorian replied, “Sometimes it starts with how often do you think of killing but that usually a question born out of fear from those who see me as nothing more than a combat monster.”

• Dorian, CE/CA

“Well, I certainly have no reason to believe you are simply a ‘combat monster’,” the counselor reassured, sounding almost like it was an empty platitude. That’s just what him being honest sounded like. As someone who was once a ‘method of interrogation’, Nyman didn’t care for labeling people in such ways.

“It would be fine if you did because that’s what I was originally augmented to be after all, a weapon.”

“But I was interested in learning more about this invoked memory simulator. I’m not very tech-savvy, but would like to be able to help as much as I can.”

|Lt. Nyman, Chief Counselor|

Dorian nodded.

“I have been so heavily altered that the only organic part of me is my brain and half my spinal cord. My frames have various pseudo biological parts that my neurological system accepts them as real. At this level of augmentation I can have difficulties remembering that I am still a living being at least somewhat. When the monitor detects a drop in neural activity to a dangerous degree, the invoked memory stimulator kicks in. It stimulates random areas of the hippocampus to ‘remind’ me that I’m not dead yet by having me relive random memories, even the unpleasant ones. Sometimes I relive battles, sometimes I relive cyberpsychosis episodes. Whatever the memory is though, it does sort of give my brain a technical tap to get back up and running.”

The whole time the answers were delivered matter of factly, almost as if Dorian weren’t talking about himself.

• Dorian, CE/CA

Lieutenant Nyman nodded along as Dorian explained. Noting the tone of depersonalization.

“Define reliving,” he asked, “Are you aware that these are only memories or are you convinced that what you are experiencing is happening in the present?”

Usually, he wouldn’t be so direct. The counselor was an advocate for people figuring out things for themselves, while guiding them along. But this was something far more serious. A problem that couldn’t be solved by just talking it through. If Dorian was going to be a successful and productive member of this crew, they needed to figure out what was going on and make plan to treat it, or at least prevent anyone from getting hurt.

|Lt. Nyman, Chief Counselor|

“In my mind I am living the experience all over again. The IMS cuts motor control so the frame is neutralized at that moment. It happens at the speed of thought so an invoked memory that could be anywhere from a couple of minutes to a week by my perception is but the briefest of moments to an observer. These are not scheduled events as the IMS determines whether or not it’s needed based on my neural activity. When I come out of it I’m a bit disoriented and it can take me a few moments to realize it was the IMS and not reality. If the memory is especially combative it can cause” Dorian paused a moment as if choosing his words carefully, “issues for those around me as I fight to regain my hold on reality. I’ve gotten much better at my restraint during these moments.”

Nyman would notice traces of emotion when Dorian mentioned combative memories but he couldn’t tell what emotions they were.

• Dorian, CE/CA

“That’s an awfully unique combination,” he said, in his mind drawing parallels between Dorian’s presentation and conditions he was familiar with. Seizures, PTSD, psychoactive drug use. What really caught his attention was that little hint of emotion.

“Sounds like it’s very disruptive to your daily life. What supports do you think could help in that recovery time?”

|Lt. Nyman, Chief Counselor|

“You sound like you think it happens all the time.” Dorian replied, It only happens when I get lost in the fine details of say a butterfly’s wing or a sculpture. My consciousness begins to get totally involved to the point where nothing else seems to exist. You might say I get so relaxed that my midbrain begins shutting down. Before I was made a total conversion cyborg the same thing could happen due to shock from injuries to what was left of my meat body. This new position is detail oriented but it’s not the same type of details.”

• Dorian, CE/CA

“Even though it might not happen too often, it’s still a safety concern…” the Counselor said. Hearing him muse about sculptures and butterflies further made Nyman question the narrative surrounding this supposed monster.

“Not just for others either,” he added, “I want to make sure every crew member is productive, safe, and looked after. That being said, I’m just trying to figure out my role in making that happen.”

|Lt. Nyman, Chief Counselor|

Dorian sat for a moment.

“I’m not sure what to tell you. Usually my care is left to medical for refilling my drug and nutrition reservoirs and engineering for calibrations and repairs. Never had a counselor take much initiative after the first introduction.”

• Dorian, CE/CA

“Hmm, really?”

They must have not been very good at their jobs, he almost added, but instead took a quick drink of water. It was a bit frustrating, his colleagues showing a complete lack of curiosity almost bordering on incompetence.

“Well, there is a difference between practical counseling and the sort of by-the-books nature of research psychologists. Especially ones that specialize in ‘subjects with unique psychologies’.”

Those last four words he put a special sort of emphasis on, as if they were sour in his mouth.

“ I find that approach kind of cold and off-putting for the average client. I do apologize though, if my approach makes you feel uncomfortable.”

|Lt. Nyman, Chief Counselor|
(OOC: I’m going to finish this section as if I were still ship’s counselor. We can continue or end it whenever you like. -Ava)

Did Dorian just give a slight shrug?

“Most of my emotional capacity has been suppressed and what remains has been modified to reward battle activities. A couple of antipsychotics were added to my medication retinue early on after being found by a Star Fleet research vessel. Apparently I was way too enthusiastic about tearing through a Pakled ship when they tried to ‘acquire’ me. No boarding parties were sent to rescue me until I ran out of combatants and started responding to comms. I was zoned feeling the rush from the carnage.” Dorian’s voice was showing a little more emotion as he talked about the Pakled ship, seemingly a mild joy.

• Dorian, CE/CA

There was something to that comment about his emotions being repurposed, and spark of pleasure recalling the combat experience. It was like the missing pieces clicked into place in the counselor’s mind. Now he understood why Star Fleet medical found it so disturbing. For the moment, curiosity far outweighed any fear he felt.

“So, if I understand correctly… you were aware of what was happening while you were on the Pakled ship. And your actions made you feel something. This ‘rush’ you described.”

|Lt. Nyman, Chief Counselor|

Dorian nodded, “Through surgery, cyberware, bioware, genetic re-structuring, psychological conditioning, and magical binding rituals, I was designed for warfare. I have been modified to receive massive endorphin surges for combative success against self or command designated enemies, machines, and structures. When I was found but a research team, I was studied and ‘helped’. I am a machine of war repurposed to UFP ideology. You might say that combat is my feel alive drug. It still is but I have a lot of restraint.”

Did Dorian just say magic?

• Dorian, CE/CA

Todd’s eyes grew wide, he gripped the armrest with one hand until his knuckles turned white. But with a slight tilt of his head a fake smile bubbled up to the surface as the unease sank down deeper.

Dorian was so… honest. He knew what he was designed for, and was aware of his desires. Didn’t attempt to hide them at all. It was obvious he was being used and manipulated, yet he seemed unbothered.

Is using a tool for its purpose really wrong?
Would it not be more cruel to deny any living creature their purpose? Nyman’s weak human form couldn’t hold back from shuttering.

“So you were able to adjust your objectives to align with those of the Federation? Fulfilling your desire to participate in combat in what others might call an acceptable way.”

|Todd Nyman, Chief Counselor|

Dorian’s sensors were picking up the physiological changes happening in Todd and understood that this was disturbing him on some level and for a brief moment wondered who counseled the counselors.

“Not really. The psyches did what they could to ‘deprogram’ me,” There seemed to be a heavy emphasis on the word deprogram. “as they say, but with limited success. Even altered as I was I still have a lot of mental autonomy. You might be thinking that I want to reach across and crush your skull in my hand but the truth is, I have no desire to do so. This is because you have not shown yourself to be my enemy and haven’t been designated as a target by Federation Command, Section 31, Star Fleet Intelligence, or Internal Security. My participation in the UFP, outside of conflict situations, is entirely by my choice. I may not feel much but I can still get bored. They wanted to keep me in isolation but you might say…”

Dorian lifted a very human looking hand and, all the way down to the elbow, let it decompress into the full frame form. The transformation only took a moment.

“I convinced them that it could be a bad idea to try to confine a war machine in a condition of continual boredom.”

The hand and arm returned to it’s previous human form. This transformation took several seconds.

“But I’m much better now.” Dorian said with an attempt at a friendly smile that came across more of a predatory grin. Todd would likely understand that Dorian was probably attempting to allay his fears with humor but it definitely came off as creepy.

• Dorian, CE/CA

The counselor exhaled, which ended up coming out as a stuttering laugh. Like pressure releasing from a valve. Except he didn’t seem any more relaxed afterwards.

“I wasn’t meaning to question your autonomy, Lieutenant. It happens to be that people in similar situations often find it hard to adjust to life in the Federation. But from what you told me… it seems like you found a way to adapt and advocate for yourself, which is all perfectly fine.”

There was only a moment of pause preceding his attempt to change the subject,

“What do you think of the Leviathan so far?”

| Nyman, Chief Counselor|

“Some, to understate, modifications that haven’t made it to the official spec. Considering the nature of this ship I was actually surprised that there weren’t more.”

Dorian paused for a moment.

“I’m also curious about you. By now, in every evaluation I’ve taken, the Psyches have asked to see me without all the machinery.”

• Dorian, CE/CA

“Like I said before, research psychologists can be a little different. I couldn’t care less, but if it’s something you’d think is important to share with me,”

Or course, he would have liked to see it for himself. He was, like any Vendorian, naturally fascinated by other creatures. The more unusual or unique, the better. Dorian was a very unique form of human indeed. But also like any Vendorian, he was an excellent liar when he needed to be. Not a single trace of emotional or physiological stress to be found as he spoke.

“I didn’t want to make you uncomfortable, is all.”

| Nyman, Chief Counselor|

Dorian shrugged.

“I’m told I’m more Vulcan than most Vulcans, you can’t make me uncomfortable. I’ve also been told that it’s good for most others to see me at my most vulnerable to garner trust as what I am generally makes it hard for others to trust me. Perhaps you are one of the exceptions.”

• Dorian, CE/CA