Posted by Captain Zachariah Cobb (Commanding Officer) in Sausage and Scuttlebutt

(snip)

“Aye, I do!” Zachariah yelled back, the strength of his tone diminished not one atom by the admission. “Because anger is the only emotion that has not yet deserted me!”

Casela yelled back, “Good! We’re on the same page then!” Outside the office Dean looked at Watkins, wide eyed. “Umm.....” Watkins shook her head. “Let ‘em go. They need to get it out. If things start getting thrown we’ll call the XO down here.” Dean nodded, but he didn’t look convinced. Watkins just laughed.

“I know,” he attempted an offering of truth, “something of what you’re going through. There is a reason I remain single, after my mistake with Prim. And, all physical evidence possibly to the contrary, it has not been for the absence of offers. It takes a certain kind of person to inflict such pain upon another, even within the framework of battle. But to wreak such misery on a fellow soul, simply for daring to love you? To sever a hand for the crime of daring to touch you? Tear out a tongue for uttering your praise? People like that, people like me, were we to crumble to dust tomorrow then I doubt even hell would shed a tear.”

Oh she knew, she knew what she risked, and it wasn’t herself. She hadn’t told anyone what Sandman had shown her, or what Hampton had made her live though. The risk was all to real. It wasn’t figurative, it was real and it had been threatened and risked and had been prevented but only barely. What would happen next time?

Attempting to break through her barrier, Cobb reached out and placed a hand on her own.
“When you look in the mirror, Casela, do not let it be my face that you see. But if, truly, a monster stares back, then I will never question you for doing what you must to protect those around you. To protect them from yourself.”

• Captain Zachariah Cobb

“No Hell won’t shed a tear it will scream in terror when the likes of us approach the gates for entrance. But somewhere, some where here in this life someone will, otherwise why do we do what we do?” She wouldn’t answer the rest. She saw a monster every time she looked in the mirror, like Frankenstein’s monster. pieced together by mutilated bits. But that create wasn’t really a monster was it? Oh she was being too philosophical. “I’ll find my way, Zachariah, and if I don’t,” she shrugs, “I won’t drag those I love with me.”
Lt. Synthi-er, CNS

He nodded, no more words of fledgling wisdom bobbing to the surface, no more strands of advice brushing against his fingers. “I know,” was all he could offer instead.

But the silence brought a defeat he was not yet willing to accept. As he remained unable to accept that she, this wonderful, caring, courageous, vibrant woman before him could truly be as wretched as he.
“If you ever start to plummet,” he concluded with a shrug, “I believe, with everything that I am, that Ryder possesses strength sufficient to pull free. But while you remain in relatively calm seas, truly what can be the harm in allowing him a small dip at your side, eh?”

• Captain Zachariah Cobb

Casela didn’t answer. She’d already made her choice, she loved Ryder and T’Jal would have her hide for being a coward. It wasn’t a conversation she should be having with Cobb anyway. This was between her and Ryder and that is who she should be talking to. “So he told you. He has a deep respect, I guess, for the chain of command. It won’t interfere with our duties. It hasn’t for the last 6 months I don’t see it starting to now. I’ve always gone after what I want, and I’m not going to stop now.” It was the only answer she’d give him. She wasn’t in the habit of discussing her personal relationships like they were idle gossip. She nodded to Cobb, offered him a refill. “I do have appointments to get to.”
Lt. Synthi-er, CNS

“And I would expect nothing less,” Cobb fired back, before releasing her with a wink and a “Go on then, off with you. Before I start in with the really personal questions.”

• Captain Zachariah Cobb

Watkins leaned over Dean and started messing with his console. “What are you doing?” Watkins laughed and very quickly Casela’s entire schedule for the rest of the shift was cleared. Dean looked up at her, “She’s going to kill you.” Watkins laughed, “Yep, but getting to hear the answers to those questions are SO going to be worth it.”

Casela settled back against the desk, “That sounds like a dare, Zachariah. Good thing for you I’m busy.” And then her console beeped and she spun it around to look at it. Zachariah could see the screen as well as she could, her schedule had been cleared for the day. She turned calculating eyes on her door, her mind reaching out and nodded. Watkins and Dean. She would find an appropriate retaliation later. She turned her gaze back, daring the captain. How much more personal could it get?
Lt. Synthi-er, CNS