Posted by Lieutenant Casela Synthi-er (Counsellor / RTF) in Late night questions - Casela’s Quarters

Posted by Lieutenant Commander Ryder Raauhl (Executive Officer) in Late night questions - Casela’s Quarters
(snip)

Ryder was of course awake, how could he not be with all her fidgeting and he didn’t need to be a telepath to know her mind wasn’t turning off. “You know, the idea of a bed is to genuinely sleep in it. But I fear you trying to do a full. Body workout which quite frankly rather disturbing. What’s on your mind Cas.” He asked looking up at her from his laying position.

• Lieutenant Commander Ryder Rauuhl

She stilled her fidgeting, not having been aware she was even doing it. She shrugged, “I have trouble sleeping with someone in the room, you know that.” The night she’d hidden out in his room, on her birthday, she’d laid awake the whole night. She ignored the comment about doing a full body workout. That would be absurd to attempt to do in bed. She glanced down at his face, “How Ryder? You tell me you can help in more ways than I can imagine. That’s vague and broad. How are you going to make the shadow leave me alone? By telling me it’s part of my past? It doesn’t work that way, no matter how much we might want it to be.” She leans her head back staring at the ceiling again. “I don’t have the luxury of blind faith. I did that once, and it almost cost me my life.” She wants out, and there is no way to really ever get out. And she knows that Ryder and the captain think she’s jumping at insubstantial shadows, and she knows she’s not. “I would really like a way out of this.”

Lt. Casela Synthi-er

“It’s not blind faith Casela, it’s logic.” He sat up next to her, “I have no doubt this person is extremely good at their job in finding people but we’re in an organisation shrouded be secrets, we’re in a task force where we don’t even know how many ships or even the names and whereabouts of those ships. If that doesn’t stop him then the sophisticated detection equipment externally and internally will notify us of an intruder and finally the people who operate that equipment are some of the finest officers I’ve ever worked with, an odd bunch with issues for sure but I would happily say that our greater collective is better and stronger than this one sole person. I have faith in this ship, in me and in you that when the time, if the time comes we will be able to deter such a threat now and in the future.”

• LtCmdr Raauhl, XO

Her head was too muddled for this conversation, but she’d started it. “That logic only works if the crew actually works together. And while I agree that individually and in small units the crew is impressive it remains to be seen whether, when the time comes they will work together, or allow failure just to prove they are better.” Her fingers trace the runes on her necklace absently. Her experiences haven’t lent to her being able to trust that a team would come together when necessary. A situation that forced her into choosing to work alone so often. Her next question probably sounded hot headed and sarcastic, but it wasn’t meant that way. In her alcohol induced state she wanted to be able to have the kind of faith Ryder did, rather than only relying on herself. “What have you done that makes you so sure you’re prepared for this?”
Lt. Synthi-er, CNS

He couldn’t disagree what her words or her thinking but he knew eventually the crew would link together like a puzzle peice. Her next question caught him off guard, mainly because it sounded accusingly in that he didn’t have a plan. “That will only ever become apparent when and if it needs to be put into action, if this Shadow is as good as he says then we need to do our best at keeping things simple and secure. I know you find it difficult in what I am about to ask you but please trust me on this. ‘

• Lieutenant Cmdr Raauhl, XO

Casela didn’t sigh exactly, but she felt defeated. She’d offended him, though she wasn’t sure of that. Something in his tone when he answered. “I don’t mean to sound offensive.” She’s trying to put the pieces together herself and she’s too close to the problem and she knows it. “I’m trying to trust you, Ryder. I,” she realizes it’s the specifics of his solution that’s he’s dancing away from. She sees the logic, or her logic, of why he wouldn’t want to tell her. “I understand you don’t want to tell me what you are planning to do. I’m too close to the problem, I know that. I guess I’m looking for your skill set, your previous experiences. I don’t even see Raauhl in you. There is nothing similar between you and Noa. Nothing, and so there is no part of him that I recognize.” She admits that’s probably a good thing since Noa was such a problem, even to Raauhl apparently. “I never read your service file. After our little,” she makes a circular hand motion while she talks, “sparing session I thought it would be prudent to let one of my staff be assigned to you. The only inquire I’ve made is to see your clearance level. So I would know, if you ever asked me, what I could and could not tell you, which is quite a lot by the way.” What she knew was that Ryder was patient, extremely charismatic, and made stunning jewelry. She couldn’t figure out how that was supposed to help her. She knew there was so much more to him than that. He was asking her to make a leap she didn’t know how to make. She trusted him, more than anyone, and for whatever reason she wanted to make that leap, she just didn’t know how.
Lt. Synthi-er, CNS

“That surprises me,” He said with a small smile, “For someone who likes to know everything about everyone” He was teasing her again, playfully trying to lighten the mood and move past their current conversation. “The truth in the matter is Cas is that we cannot prepare for something we do not understand nor know when if at all it or they are coming so, for now, don’t worry.” He moved closer to her, running his hand up and down her arm smiling reassuringly at her, his gaze affixed to hers.

• Lt Cmdr Raauhl, XO