Posted by Ensign Levi Gordon (Doctor) in So Much Space

Posted by Lieutenant Commander Renveer (Executive Officer) in So Much Space

Posted by Lieutenant Priscilla Simms (Chief Science Officer) in So Much Space

So much space. That thought crossed Renveer’s mind as he stared listlessly out of slanted windows. Yes, the statement described the view of the blue streaks of stars. But he was instead contemplating the executive officer’s quarters behind him. The new accommodations had only a slightly larger floorplan than the rooms he had during his time as counselor, and yet… the void felt bigger, here.

Leaned against the couch next to him, several paintings wrapped in paper waited to be hung on the bare walls. For the moment, though, Renveer couldn’t bring himself to turn around. Too much space. He was only one person. Did one person really need this much space? This space could easily be shared. Why wasn’t he sharing this space with someone?

Because he had run away. He could have stayed on Trill, he could have become a diplomat or politician or emissary. He could have accepted a symbiont. If he had, he would always be sharing space. He would never be alone in a room. He would always have another person with him. Renveer could feel a cavity in his abdomen, a space left unfilled.

And having spurned that opportunity for perpetual companionship, Renveer often found himself wondering if he was being punished for it. He could have been part of a sacred connection with a symbiont, and now he found himself unable to form an intimate relationship with anyone. He had told himself that he would find a man who could provide companionship, rather than a symbiont. But he hadn’t. The space inside of him had never been filled.

Now he had accepted a position as executive officer. If a counselor’s relationship with a crew had to be strictly professional and platonic, an executive officer had to be even more respectful of the dangers posed by the power dynamics that would be at play in a relationship with another crew member. And likely, this promotion meant Renveer would serve in a similar position for years to come. When would he find companionship?

Renveer’s hand subconsciously moved to rest on his stomach. There was a space inside of him, whether it be in his abdomen or in his chest, that felt empty. His aspirations to be in Starfleet and to serve as needed had left him lonely. Yearning for a partnership. And here he was, alone in quarters well suited for two, with so much space.

All to himself.

(Lt. Cmdr. Renveer, XO)

Despite the perceived vast amount of extra space, the chime from the door sounded exactly as it had in his other quarters. Its announcement of company almost familiar like any other room on the ship.

Priscilla stood at the door, a small plant in her hand, as she waited to see if the XO would answer.

Lt Priscilla Simms
CSO

It took a couple seconds for the chime to register. When it did, Renveer blinked and dropped his hand, letting out a sigh of release before moving to answer the door. He was dressed in a pair of baggy grey nightpants and a loose olive green shirt, having intended on spending the evening moving into his new space, rather than any official duties. He didn’t think much of it until he opened the door and immediately felt underdressed.

“Leuitenant,” he said with a blink of surprise. The usually friendly and collected ex-counselor seemed unsettled, his typical aura of calm disrupted by inner thoughts. He looked down at the plant in her hands and then back up to her face. Renveer mentally kicked himself, feeling as if he should have at least allowed for some possibility of house-warming gestures from the crew. “Apologies,” he managed, “you caught me at a bad time.”

(Lt. Cmdr. Renveer, XO)

Priscilla stood before him in loose fitting blue jeans and a teal colored sleeveless tunic top that covered her backside but was raised in the front showing a bit of her stomach. Her hair, normally pulled back in a tight ponytail and bun was down loose and framed her face in a soft partial wave of curl. “No worries, I should have sent a message first.” She held the plant towards him and laughed softly. “Cliche I know, but how can you have a nice housewarming without at least one good plant to kill in the next week? Right?” She smiled and took a step back once he took it. “I should leave you to your evening. I am sorry to have bothered you, Sir.”

Priscilla
CSO

Renveer accepted the plant gingerly and cradled it in his arms, taken off-guard by the gesture. “I’ll try to do better than that,” he said with a small smile of his own, “but I’m not known to have much of a green thumb. Thank you.” He wanted to invite Priscilla inside, but he felt a welling of emotion coming on, and could only turn to retreat and offer a subdued “Have a good evening, Lieutenant,” as he let the door close. She hadn’t bothered him, of course. But he also didn’t know her well enough to start crying in front of her.

Renveer carried the plant to his room and sat on the edge of the bed, holding the pot in his lap between his knees as he breathed through the couple tears that fell from his eyes. He was just overwhelmed. He had let himself spiral down that train of thought that spoke his to worst anxieties, and as a result he was already failing at being the executive officer that people like Lieutenant Simms needed him to be. He sincerely hoped that she didn’t hold his abruptness against him. But he resolved then and there to do better, to be prepared no matter the circumstance to perform his duties, even if that just meant being a friendly face.

Slowly he stood and took a couple paces to the corner of the bedroom. He set the plant down and rotated it slightly so that its leaves could spill out into the space between the bed and the windows. He crouched down next to the little fern, sighing through his nose as he considered it.

Just like that, a little piece of space was filled.

(Lt. Cmdr. Renveer, XO)

OOC: This thread got me right in the feelers.

-Harley

She had seen the emotion rise and let him think she hadn’t. He was overwhelmed, was her guess. She waited till the door closed and whispered softly, “I know you’ll do great Ren… I just know it.” She wasn’t referring to just the plant as she walked away with a sigh. She’d write him a letter later. Or perhaps seek him out for a talk on something she had on her mind. Perhaps giving him a ‘purpose’ for even a short spell might help.

With a soft smile on her face, she headed back to the Science lab and her life of work and experiments.

Priscilla
CSO