Posted by Commander Amelia Manning (Executive Officer) in Counselor’s Office: Renveer’s Drop-in Hours

Posted by Lieutenant Commander Renveer (Counselor) in Counselor’s Office: Renveer’s Drop-in Hours

Posted by Lieutenant Commander Renveer (Counselor) in Counselor’s Office: Renveer’s Drop-in Hours
Posted by… suppressed (3) by the Post Ghost! 👻

(snip)

“Likewise, Commander Renveer.” Manning said. The warmth in her expression reflecting that of the counselor. “I hope you don’t mind me dropping by.” Her eyes glanced around the room for a moment. “I see you have already settled in! I hope you have been enjoying your first days on board, and that you had a pleasant trip on your way over here. Hopefully the crew won’t give you hard time, at least not on your first week. We’ve been without counseling services for a while… so I think we grew accustomed to make do, but something tells me you will have your hands full in no time.”

With a distinct Earth English accent, it was clear that Manning was quite talkative, at least when it came to pleasantries and small talk. But the speed and tone in which she spoke told the counselor that she wasn’t there to chitchat.

Cmdr. Manning, XO

Renveer nodded and rubbed a hand over the back of his neck with a bashful smile. “I don’t think I’ve ever had such a rush to sign up for sessions, I’m already booked up for a good while. It sounds like the crew may have some catching up to do in the morale department.”

“But please,” Renveer said as he pivoted to arc an arm outward toward the loveseat-style couch, “have a seat Commander.” He moved to sit in his high-backed chair, placing the PaDD he had left there in his lap. “Any insights you have on what I can do to get started on the right foot would be greatly appreciated.”

(Lt. Comm. Renveer, Counselor)

“Thank you.” Manning said politely, walking to the offered seat, setting her PaDDs on her lap as she sat down. “Well, I am happy to know that the crew is interested in seeing you. You know how it is… not everyone enjoys seeing the ship’s counselor…” She smiled apologetically. “I was afraid that because we had been without one for so long, the crew wouldn’t think it necessary to see you. But I am happy to be wrong!” Amelia chuckled. “To be fair, our CMO, Lt. Janvier, has been doing a terrific job… and if you haven’t met him yet, she has the loveliest canine assistant on this ship. I think he alone has been keeping the morale of the crew higher than it would probably be in normal circumstances.”

Renveer smiled sheepishly. “You’re not the first one to mention Enj to me today. If the crew responds so well to animal companionship, maybe I should get a therapy dog myself.” He glanced away as if seriously considering the thought for a moment.

With a deep breath of someone who’s about to mention a complex matter, Manning tapped the PaDDs on her lap lightly with her open palms. “I am not sure that these are the kinds of insights that you are looking for, but I compiled a list of things I noticed with certain crew members ever since our previous CNS transferred. As you know, I don’t have access to the crew’s psychological records, and of course, whatever course of action is best it is up for you to decide. That’s why we have you.” Amelia chuckled again. “But that doesn’t mean I don’t notice things, and talk to people, and see the way the previous missions have impacted some of our members… so… even though all my notes are compiled on these PaDDs, I would prefer if I could bring them up to you personally…”

Giving almost no chance for Renveer to pronounce himself on the matter, Manning started. “Six or so months ago we were involved in a particularly…” The woman’s voice faltered, as she looked for the right word. “… there’s no words to describe it…” The dark shadow that settled on her features would tell the counselor that even the seemingly chipper Executive Officer had matters that hadn’t been resolved. “Vicious… violent… Whatever you want to call it. The ship and the crew took a very violent hit and I am appalled as to how Command didn’t take enough interest to send us someone to deal with the aftermath.” She shook her head. “Anyway… I don’t have the exact numbers… honestly I try to forget them…” She offered Renveer a pained look and a sigh. “Every member of this crew suffered heavy losses. Whether it was someone they knew, someone they worked with, a friend, a partner, a spouse… many will brush it off, but I know they haven’t gotten over it. We all threw ourselves in our work trying to mitigate the damage and forget about what happened afterwards, but now that things are further in the past and there’s less to do, the struggles have become more apparent.”

Renveer’s face turned more serious as the topic of conversation shifted to the business of the ship. His eyebrows raised slightly when the executive officer mentioned her notes, impressed by her diligence. He nodded to encourage Manning to continue.

Tapping one of the PaDDs, Amelia scrolled through her notes. “Ensign Sterling lost her husband down in Engineering. A few weeks ago she started arriving late to her shifts and missed two of them entirely in the past week. Crewman Jung and Douglas were together. They hit it off when they were placed in the same shared quarters and decided to pursuit a more serious relationship. They spent their free time on the holodeck playing racquetball. Douglas was one of the casualties. Earlier last week, Security found Crewman Jung passed out on the holodeck program they shared.” Manning’s hands shook slightly. If the counselor had looked at her hands, he would have seen the small gold band that adorned her left ring finger — the human symbol for someone that was married.

The list went on. “Lieutenant Junior Grade T’Koja is the head of the Delta shift in the science lab. Ensign Rezendes was his best friend. She taught him to play Kadis-kot. Her unconscious body shielded him from death.” Amelia shook her head. “He’s Vulcan… and as you know… Vulcans and emotions don’t mix well together. The last time I spoke to him in the lab, I could see that he was struggling even though he denies it.” Manning sighed. “The list goes on, Commander…”

A dark shadow fell on Renveer’s face as he listened to the report. Of course he had been given a sanitized briefing on the reason for his urgent new assignment, but hearing the details… Renveer was an empathetic person, and no empathetic person could be unaffected by the report Manning gave, even with Renveer’s training. He stiffened, attempting for a moment to steel himself before eventually allowing a tear to run from each eye. He wiped them away softly, glancing away from the Commander’s face and down at the PaDD she held. He saw Manning’s hands shaking and clenched his jaw, again fighting back a swell of emotion. What had happened was horrible, there was no way around it. Remaining professional was proving to be a challenge.

“And then, of course, we have the ship’s Senior Officers. If they haven’t booked an appointment with you, I would suggest you saw them. A ship cannot function if her senior staff is not clearheaded.” For a moment, Manning paused debating whether or not she should say what was on her mind. “I…” She paused to take a deep breath. “I am particularly worried about Colonel Harris and Captain Holloway.” Amelia glanced around momentarily almost as if she was afraid someone else was in the room. “Please don’t tell either of them I said this but… Holloway was taken during said mission and… she…” Manning sighed. “… she was not in good shape when she came back. Harris and her are romantically involved, and of course, the Colonel was deeply affected by this. And since then… there’s been some… less fortunate incidents between the two, as well as some holodeck misuse on Captain Holloway’s part. It’s not my business to meddle, but it is my job to make sure the ship’s Captain is at their best.”

“As I said, I compiled everything here.” Manning said apologetically, motioning to the PaDDs she had brought in. “I just wanted to make sure you have it.”

Cmdr. Manning, XO

Renveer allowed himself one audible sniffle as Manning finished. He pulled a small emerald-green handkerchief out of his uniform pants pocket, swiping it across his upper lip quickly. “Thank you, Commander,” Renveer began with a slight waver to his voice. Clearing his throat, the counselor collected himself and spoke again with more conviction. “Your commitment to the health of your crew is obvious, and admirable. Unaddressed trauma invariably affects the health of our personnel, and thus the health of the ship. I will make Sterling, Jung, T’Koja, Harris, and Holloway, as well as any other individuals in crisis you have identified, my top priorities. I know you will understand if some of my more routine duties need to be delayed for the moment as I expand my counseling hours.”

Stuffing the handkerchief into the crevice in the chair between the cushion and the arm before looking back up at Manning, his eyebrows tilted inwards in concern. “I’m sorry I wasn’t here to help sooner. Handling this task alone must have been taxing, Commander. How are you holding up?”

OOC: Just have to say, I was intimidated to respond to this post because it is one of the best posts I have had the privilege of interacting with during my year with STF. Thank you for such a wonderfully written post! Wow, it was emotional for me to read as a writer as well! Bravo.

(Lt. Comm. Renveer, Counselor)

OOC: Oh… Thank you so much for your kind words! I don’t really know what to say! I never meant to make it intimidating to reply to, but I am really happy you enjoyed it! :) – Joana

IC:
Amelia sighed softly before giving the Counselor a light smile. “I wouldn’t say I have been handling this task alone. Not to mention… I was one of the most fortunate members of the crew… if feels wrong to expect any sort of mental health evaluation or help of any kind when many of the people throughout this ship are way worse than I am, Commander. I mean…” She paused for a moment, taking a deep breath to try and settle her thoughts. “My husband is on Earth. In fact he was visiting me on board and he happened to leave a few days before that mission. It’s something I am immensely grateful for. I wouldn’t know what to do without–” Manning’s voice faltered and she shook her head. “I don’t want to think about it.”

“I managed to escape with just a few bumps and bruises… nothing our good doctor couldn’t easily fix. Many people I knew perished, but I guess that was the same as to most of the crew that lived through the experience. Mostly I am grateful that the most important people in my life are still very much in it, and I take one day at a time. I focus on my work and try to keep my mind on task instead of diverging through memories I don’t want to relieve.” For a brief moment, Amelia’s thoughts went back to her narrow escape through the Jefferies tubes. The sound of the doors to her quarters being destroyed by disruptor fire, the rummaging through her things, while she sat in silence, holding her breath, on the conduit above her room, waiting for the intruders to leave before heading to the Bridge. Later she would return to her quarters to find her belongings scattered around and most of her furniture broken. The silver lining being that they hadn’t found her stash of whiskey bottles. The blood… it was everywhere on the ship… the bodies piling up in the corridors… images that she knew would never leave her memory. She shook her head. “The truth is, Commander… I never really thought of how I am holding up until you just asked… So I am afraid I don’t really have an answer for you…”

Cmdr. Manning, XO

Renveer nodded in understanding. “It sounds like you’ve been focusing on holding the crew together, I can’t imagine that’s left you with much time for reflection on your own experiences during and in the aftermath of that tragedy.”

The counselor paused, then continued gently. “I know you came here today to discuss the well-being of other members of the crew. I don’t mean to push you into a conversation that you’re not emotionally prepared to have right now.” Renveer shifted slightly in his chair. “But it seems like this crew is asking for you to be a secure anchor for them, and I wouldn’t want you taking on more than you should if you’re in distress.”

“Have you been feeling anxious? Having unwanted thoughts, flashbacks, or general feelings of dread or fear? Have you noticed any changes in your overall mood?” The counselor listed off the symptoms of PTSD with genuine concern, but was very much aware that Manning probably knew what he was getting at. He had tried to soften the blow as much as he could, but he braced himself for a defensive answer nonetheless.

(Lt. Comm. Renveer, Counselor)