Posted by Lieutenant Cara Esmé Mardusk (Counselor / Education Specialist) in CNS’s Office: Ashford’s Evaluation

Posted by Lieutenant Commander Valerie Ashford (Chief Science Officer) in CNS’s Office: Ashford’s Evaluation

Posted by Lieutenant Cara Esmé Mardusk (Counselor / Education Specialist) in CNS’s Office: Ashford’s Evaluation
Posted by… suppressed (13) by the Post Ghost! 👻
With the first appointment done, Valerie headed to the second item on her to do list – the on boarding psychological evaluation.

Psych evals weren’t something she necessarily looked forward to, but Ashford definitely felt more comfortable with them than most. Her line of work had made her quite familiar with the screening method, and to a certain extent, she found the meeting itself almost comforting.

Taking the nearest turbo lift, Valerie ascended to deck 11 where the Counseling Suites were located, and before she knew it, she had reached her destination and was checking her PaDD to confirm which of the six offices she was due to report to. Once she located it, she pressed the chime and waited to be summoned inside.

Lt. Cmdr. Valerie Ashford

The door opened, and a woman with curly bright red hair, green eyes, and classic pale skin marked her as having strong Irish Terran heritage stood there. A very strong Irish accent flowed from her as she offered her hand, “Lt Cmdr Valerie Ashford? It’s nice te meet ye. I’m Lt O’Farrell. Come on in.” She pressed the control on the office door and stepped inside.

“Nice to meet you too.” Valerie said with a smile, shaking the offered hand before following the Counselor inside the office.

Immediately to the left of the door was a desk. A variety of places to sit and low tables dotted the rest of the open area. The right wall was taken up with a wall to wall, floor to ceiling storage until. Books, various pieces of art, and nick knacks covered the shelves. “Help yerself te the replicator and have a seat.” O’Farrell grabbed a glass of tea off her desk and had a seat in one of the chairs.

Lt. Mardusk, counselor

“Thank you, but I’m fine.” Ashford said politely, her eyes glancing at the collection of items on the shelves. Growing up away from her home planet, Valerie had always been fascinated at the different items people kept in their personal spaces, whether they were offices or private quarters. Over the years, she had began to understand their significance, and even started collecting a few items of her own, but she found that she was never as fond of them as most people seemed to be. Still, Valerie never stopped being fascinated at how much the items inside a room spoke of its owner, and that had led her to select carefully what she chose to display in her own space.

Taking a seat close to the O’Farrell, Ashford commented in way of small talk. “It’s a incredible collection.” She motioned with her chin to the shelves, indicating what she was talking about.

Lt. Cmdr. Valerie Ashford, CSO

Cara glanced over at the shelves and grinned. “It’s amazin’ what we collect over the years, isn’t t? I can no’ claim credit for all of it. Some of the art the previous counselor left behind. I liked them and since she didn’a want them when I offered ta send them ta her, I kept them. Anythin’ in particular draw yer curiosity?”

Lt. Mardusk, counselor

“I was never a big collector myself, but I confess many items still manage to find a way into my personal possessions more often than I would like.” Valerie replied. “To answer your question, though…” Her gaze lingered a little on the shelves. “… would it be okay for me to say all of it?” Ashford chuckled.

Lt. Cmdr. Valerie Ashford, CSO

bump :)

OOC: Sorry, thought I had replied already.
IC:

“Certainly. It’s amazin’ the things that accumulate over the years. Let’s see,” Cara stood and walked over to the shelves and scanned them. The lower shelves were all therapy items for people to use while they were in her office. The tops shelves full of books she used for her work. “Ah,” she picked up a ‘U’ shaped metal item. “Back home I had a horse. The last day I saw her she threw this shoe. Superstition says that horseshoes carry luck in them. I don’a know if that’s true, but I kept it anyway.”

Lt. Mardusk, counselor

OOC: No worries! It happens! :)

IC:

Back home I had a horse. The sentence floated in Valerie’s mind for a moment, and the counselor would see her eyes widen in fascination. It would be easy to imagine why she had become a scientist in the first place. The truth was that Ashford had heard of people who had kept large animals in their homes, and she had even visited a small farm when she was growing up, but she had never actually met someone who had kept one as their… was ‘pet’ the right word?

“You never know, I suppose.” Valerie’s tone was light. “In the town where my brother lives there’s a small pub that keeps a horseshoe over the main door. So far their fortune seems to have looked up. And if nothing else, it serves as a memento of your time with your horse.” She smiled. Ashford wasn’t a superstitious person, but she carried mementos of her own, and while to her they were nothing more than a reminder of times long gone, others she had met had seen in some of them both good and bad omens alike.

“The house my brother grew up in had a small yard. Whenever we visited him and his mother, I used to tell him that it didn’t beat having a holodeck right around the corner, but the truth was that I was just jealous of it.” Valerie chuckled. “I imagine you must need a larger yard for a horse. What was it like, to live in a place like that?” There was again, the childlike wonder in her gaze, right before it became slightly more concerned, as if doubt had suddenly entered her mind. “If you don’t mind me asking, that is.”

Lt. Cmdr. Ashford, CSO

“Holodecks are amazin’ things, but they truly are no a replacement for the real experience.” Cara shook her head, “No not at all. We didn’a keep her in the yard. She was kept at the local stable. They had plenty of pasture and other horses for her ta be with. Horses can’a be alone, they need their herd. She’s still there, working as a lesson horse for young riders.” Her gaze turned thoughtful, “Growin’ up in Conmaragh was wonderful, but it was a bit behind the times. We were no isolated by any means, but we don’a need all the bells and whistles of the bigger cities. We all know each other. It’s a very safe place ta grow up. A very large extended family really. Where did ya grow up, Cmdr?”

Lt. Mardusk, counselor

Valerie seemed to drink the counselor’s every word, and it took a split second for the question to process in her mind.

“Oh… I’m afraid I didn’t grow up in an interesting place.” She chuckled softly. “Both my parents were officers on board a starship when I was growing up. The USS Allegiance.” She said with a soft sigh and for a moment there was a wistful look in her eyes, but it disappeared almost instantly. “It’s a judicial ship for diplomatic missions and the like… I grew up on board.” Her tone was slightly apologetical, and she offered Mardusk a small shrug. “My brother on the other hand… well… half-brother would be the correct term… grew up in a small coastal town in the north of England. A very small place called Goswick, in Northumberland. We visited now and then and I still go there when I can, so I understand the extended family feel you describe. Though I had that on the Allegiance somewhat, even if different in its own way, I sometimes wish I had grown up on an actual planet. Not having done so makes it hard to go down there and stay for long… I guess I’m more used to the holodeck than to the real thing.” Valerie chuckled again. “Plus it was impossible to have a horse. All I got was a pet fish!” She paused for a moment. “I take it you still visit your horse then?” It was obvious that, because of her upbringing, human living on Earth seemed to fascinate Ashford.

Lt. Cmdr. Ashford, CSO

“I imagine growin’ up on a ship was quite fascinatin’. Meetin’ different people and cultures. Learnin’ about their customs and laws. Havin’ new friends from all over the quadrant.” In that short little exchange Cara had learned a lot about Ashford. “My parents wouldn’a allow us ta have a fish. Said if we wanted ta stare at them, we could go ta the beach and watch them in their real homes.” She chuckled at the memory. “I do. I was recently at home on leave. I got ta visit her for a bit. It’s been a couple o’ years since I’ve been home, but she still remembered me.”

Lt. Mardusk, counselor

“Well… you know how it is.” Valerie hesitated, pondering her words before continuing. “We tend to find realities that are not our own more interesting than ours.” There was a pause again where Ashford seemed to struggle with the words she needed to correctly voice her thoughts. “Growing up on a starship has its pros and cons, as does everything else. Being immersed in the multicultural environment is definitely a good thing, but for me it’s the only reality I know… so I tend to find the prospect of growing up planetside much more interesting.” She smiled apologetically. “Not to mention, I found out over time that people have certain expectations of you if you look a certain way…” She chuckled softly but somewhat sadly. “… I’m afraid to say I never really met them.”

The fact that Valerie felt like a human that didn’t belong on Earth was perhaps the one thing she had struggled with the most and the longest. The fact that she had grown up so far away from her home planet, had made it so it didn’t feel like a home. Just a planet. She had no connection to a place. She had envied everyone in her family for their roots, for as long as she could remember, which in turn had only made her feel even more like an outsider.

That was why she had decided to study on Earth rather than anywhere else, and it came as a further blow when she almost didn’t last a full year. It was too much. The crowds, the noise, the unpredictability of the weather, and most of all, the sudden bouts of allergies.

Over the years, she had been told that there were millions of humans living on other planets, in colonies spread out among the cosmos, and others that had been brought up on board spaceships just like her. She had found, however, that those living in colonies were more similar to ‘Earth Humans’ than their ship raised counterparts. They had a home planet, even if that planet wasn’t exactly Earth. And other than the few other kids she had grown up with on the Allegiance, finding someone with the same upbringing as her was a rare occurrence.

“Fish are a bit boring, if you want my honest opinion.” Valerie chuckled again, this time more cheerfully. “And I imagine way more boring than a horse. I wanted to have a cat but my parents didn’t allow me either. Though, in hindsight, I understand they didn’t want to keep up with both a child and a pet running around a ship.” It was clear from her tone that despite the shortcomings Ashford felt her upbringing might have brought to her, she had had a happy childhood. “I’ve heard that animals can remember their owners even when they are gone for a long time. I’m glad that is true. I know how hard it is to be away from home for a long time. I’m sure she was happy to see you.” Valerie said with a warm smile.

Lt. Cmdr. Ashford, CSO

Cara let her talk, taking mental note of the things Ashford was saying. She laughed softly at the last. “I know I was happy ta see her. She was only interested in the sugar cubes in my pocket.” She took a sip of her tea and then set the cup down. “What expectations do ya feel ya never met?” Cara asked, circling back to Ashford’s previous statement.

Lt. Mardusk, counselor

“Oh… well…” The question was unexpected, and Valerie struggled yet again. “Not that anyone has ever said it to my face.” She chuckled. “Mostly people make assumptions. They assume that just because you look human… well… just because you are human…” She corrected. “… then you must know certain things. Things that only someone that grew up on a planet would know.” She paused to ponder for a moment. “You know… the weird glances you get the first time you are blindsided by rain and you didn’t know to ‘check the weather’, or being afraid of hovercars… When you have to introduce yourself you’re asked to describe your planet and you realize you really don’t know… or when you are used to celebrating the Bajoran Gratitude Festival because your best friend growing up was Bajoran but when you do it outside of the starship context, other humans find it weird…” Ashford shrugged. “That sort of thing.” There was a hint of bitterness in her tone. Valerie sighed. “As a kid, I used to want to see what the planet I came from was like… only to realize that I didn’t come from there at all.” The hint bitterness turned into a hint of sadness. “And to make it all worse, I found out that I’m allergic to a lot of things humans aren’t!” She added with a chuckle. “It used to make me feel like I was not meeting the expectations of what being a human meant. Eventually I got used to it. I just live vicariously through the experiences of others, like the personal story you just shared.” This is time the smile was more cheerful. “I still struggle to figure out what the concepts of ‘home’ or ‘where I came from’ mean in my case, but I don’t dwell on those thoughts as much as I used to. Also, I’ve found that Vulcan meditation is particularly helpful.”

Lt. Cmdr. Ashford, CSO

“So, sort’a like the space boomers of the 2100s. They were born, lived, worked, loved, and died in space. Most never saw a planet and when they did all those things were different. They had their own culture, celebrations, beliefs. It took so long ta get anywhere that they never knew what it was like ta not be in space.” Cara picked up her tea and took a sip. “I bet ya had yer own culture too. A mix of celebrations, habits, traditions that are equally fascinatin’ ta others. If ya ask an engineer, every ship is different, has its own personality. I would wager that grownin’ up on one ship is no the same as growin’ up on a different one.”

Lt. Mardusk, counselor

Valerie pondered for a moment. She had never come across the term ‘space boomer’ before, but it seemed like something that might have been touched on during her history lessons on board the Allegiance. History had never been her strong suit, plus, growing up, Ashford hadn’t exactly been known for paying attention when things weren’t particularly interesting to her. Instead, her eyes had always been locked out of any viewport available, looking onto the stars. She had spent countless hours on the observation deck, and less hours than she would have liked on the Science Labs, only because her parents didn’t let her get in the way of the Science officers actually carrying their duties. Yet, what the Counselor had just described seemed, in a way, exactly how she felt.

“I had never heard of the space boomers you mentioned.” Ashford finally said. “I guess I should have paid more attention in history class.” She chuckled. “I can’t imagine what it must have been like then… I suppose it might be easier now, with faster travel and all, but each ship definitely still has its own culture.” Valerie agreed. “I think that’s part of what makes it worse… After trying to live planetside for a while I realized that that wasn’t the place for me. But when I found myself back in space it just wasn’t the same…” There was a wistful look in her eyes. Distant, as if she was thinking back to another time, before returning to the present. “I don’t like to think in terms of ‘my home being gone’, as that sounds way overly dramatic.” Valerie chuckled again. “But the fact is that the… culture, I suppose… that I grew up in is mostly gone. Even if I was to go back to Allegiance right now, most of the people that were there have moved on to other posts, or retired altogether. It’s as if the house is the same, but the community living there is a different one.” She chewed on her lip for a moment before shrugging. “In any case, you have given me something to research as well as some food for thought. Maybe trying to find out how those space boomers coped back then might actually help me now!” There was a hopeful smile on the scientist’s lips.

Lt. Cmdr. Ashford, CSO