Posted by Commander Heathcliff Rinker (Chief Medical Officer/ Psychiatrist) in What we want verses what we have…Commander Rinker…When the past doesn’t match the future or the present

Posted by Civilian Jessa Novar (Child) in What we want verses what we have…Commander Rinker…When the past doesn’t match the future or the present

Posted by Civilian Jessa Novar (Child) in What we want verses what we have…Commander Rinker…When the past doesn’t match the future or the present
Posted by… suppressed (2) by the Post Ghost! 👻
Jessa laid in bed struggling to sleep like most nights recently. The weight of her situation was becoming more real and less fantasy. It was supposed to be a grand adventure with an ending nothing like what she was living now. The plan had been to get on the ship, retrieve the Prism, and then leave. That was three weeks ago. Wiping her eyes with the back of her hand, Jessa tried to not think about how she was still in this backwater corner of space and instead of arriving back to the Union on her way to find her mother. Rolling over, Jessa pulled a pillow to her chest and held it tightly fighting back the urge to sob. “Crying doesn’t solve anything. It is stupid and a waste of time. Doing things solves problems. Fixing problems is how one should spend their time,” she quietly chastised herself.

Her issue was how to fix her problems. Rinker offered to help. Jack would help and if she gave Ian the chance, he would probably jump at returning her to an adult to get her off his hands. Pellan would be coming but none of that mattered right now. Jessa was alone, scared, and giving in to her worst thoughts. Looking around the room only depressed Jessa more. The sick bay was cold and sterile but mentally let Jessa separate herself from the crew. The room she was occupying now was warm and inviting. Whether intentionally meant to make her feel relaxed or a clever manipulation to trust the crew more, the color scheme allowed Jessa a few minutes each day when waking up to forget she was not at home.

Throwing back her covers, Jessa got up and exited her room to the main living space. The quarters were dead silent. Ian and Kelly had gone out for the night and due to her age and the security team constantly monitoring her, there was no need for a babysitter as if she were five. She could easily have opened the door and requested the officers contact Ian but tonight Jessa needed something else. Going back into her room, she rapidly changed her clothes, threw on some shoes, and grabbed the new backpack Kelly had gotten her. Taking a deep breath, Jessa walked to the door of the quarters and opened them.

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O’Neill quarters
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“What do you mean she is not there?” Jack’s voice cut through the silence of his quarters like a razor as he threw back his covers and began pulling on his clothes. He had not loved the idea of giving up his twenty-four-hour spot on Jessa’s detail however after almost three weeks guarding her, the stress and lack of sleep were getting to him so the four-man team was split into two officers on twelve-hour shifts. Paulson and Beck ran the night shift while he and Reed ran the day shift.
“Sir,” the officer tried to keep a steady tone. “She came to the door about zero one hundred hours complaining she felt sick. We escorted her to the sick bay but there was a medical emergency two seconds after we entered and she must have slipped out,” the security officer on duty snapped back.

“Freaking fantastic,” Jack cursed grabbing his phaser and his boots. “Contact the CO and complete a shipwide scan to locate her. I will be in security command in three.” Jack’s irritation was redlining as he stumbled about getting dressed in the middle of the night like it was some academy drill.

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Commander Heathcliff Rinker’s quarters
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Ten minutes later, at about 0130 hours, a loud banging could be heard on Commander Heathcliff Rinker’s door as Jack’s voice began to bark out the psychiatrist’s name through the comm badge.

Jessa Novar

It wasn’t common for people to bang on doors. Most communication was done by comms and it was far faster than going to whatever location and knocking. It was even more rare for the two things to hapoen at the same time.

“Come,” he called as he tapped his badge resting on his night stand. +^+Rinker=^= There was n’t much he could add since he had no idea what was going on, and the more he talked the longer it took for him to learn something.

Rinker

Jack entered Rinker’s quarters and stood in the living space knowing Heathcliff was most probably getting out of bed. “Heathcliff we have a problem.” He winced slightly hearing his voice echo through his badge, in the next room, and through his own ears. It sounded like a weird echo almost and was more disconcerting than physical. Knowing Rinker would want a succinct version of why he was standing in the man’s quarters in the middle of the night, Jack began his sit rep.

“We enter people’s rooms without permission now?” He had hoped that this wasn’t a side effect of taking the CMO position. He was a psychiatrist more than a general practitioner, but he could handle most of the things that were needed on a Starship.

“What,” Jack held out his hands in more of an exasperated husband gesture than aggressive as he saw Rinker walking out of his bedroom. “You said to come in.” Shaking off the miscommunication, Jack continued with why he was barging into the Commander’s quarters at such an ungodly hour.

“The Captain and Ian are indisposed. Jessa was alone in their quarters with Beck and Paulson standing guard. She came to them about forty-five minutes ago complaining about not feeling well. They took her to sick bay but some medical emergency was going on. Jessa slipped out in the confusion. She removed her comm badge so we had trouble finding her on the ship. Without the comm badge, it took a hot minute. People forget that mythology-class ships are not small even though they are starships.” Jack was irritated and did not take a psych degree to see that. His normally laid-back demeanor and slightly southern drawl had been replaced with squared shoulders and crisper words. “I am zip-tying a comm badge around her neck like a dog collar in the morning. Anyway, we found her. I thought you would be the best person get her back to her quarters from the arboretum. I have the area cordoned off.”

“Two guards for a twelve year old?” He said sarcastically. “Although, I’ve seen what she and her friends have done. Maybe two isn’t enough.”

“A battalion would not be enough if she engaged the armor,” Jack agreed with Rinker somewhat. While Jack did not deny that Jessa could be dangerous, he also was against locking her away like a convicted criminal based on her ideology. “It just leaves a bad taste in my mouth supporting the lock her up, throw away the key, and pretend like the event didn’t happen option. Away from her lunatic overlords she has just been a teenage obnoxious.” Jack shrugged So many of the crew did not have children and were casting opinions about said child. Jack didn’t think Rinker was in the lock-her-up brigade but then again he only had a casual relationship with the man. “Thank god it’s above my paygrade to make those decisions. I just follow orders.” In a well-honed persona, Jack gave the country boy a non-commital smile and shrug as if he had nothing personally invested in the situation. Playing the dumb security officer served him well over the years. People accepted what they saw with their eyes and made him less threatening because they did not know what he was thinking.

“Okay,” He shugged, spinning about looking for his uniform. Failing to immediately find that. He picked up the closet outfit and his medical bag.

If Rinker didn’t want to go, Jack would do it but probably with much less finesse. The short turbo ride to the Arboretum would let Rinker ask any questions he needed before they got there. “Shall we go,” Jack motioned to the door.

Jessa Novar

The space was devoid of people partially due to the late hour and partially due to the security guards condoning the space off. Jessa was sitting in the grass under a large tree with her backpack next to her and some sort of bottle in her hand. Since it was night, the ceiling replicated the starfield around the ship instead of the azure blue sky with fluffy white clouds. She stared hard out of the large floor-to-ceiling viewport into the vast inky darkness. Only the sound of Jack and Rinker’s footsteps on the path a few feet from her broke her stare. Glancing over at the two men, Jessa held up a hand. “Please go away. I just want to be alone.” Even in the dim lights, it was evident, Jessa had been crying. It was not the hysterical bouts of tears she exhibited at times during sessions but the kind of crying one did when they thought they were alone. There was something else in her voice. The slight slur of words only alcohol could create.

Jack shifted his weight to the balls of his feet rocking his posture as he second-guessed his decision to approach Jessa. The parent in him struggled with conflict. The Dad side, was fueled by empathy to comfort a distraught kid. The Father’s side, wasfueled by the FAFO mentality of letting the kid learn from a mistake. Without a gut instinct, Jack held the perimeter close enough to step in if needed.

“Why are you here? I didn’t call for you,” Jessa wiped the back of her hand over her eyes. Rinker had seen her cry plenty of times in his office. Jessa felt exposed and far more vulnerable outside of his office, with other people around. She could not see them exactly, but there were always there lurking. “It’s late and you are always talking about getting enough sleep to improve emotional stability. The last thing we need is you to be emotionally unstable.” Rinker had never used those words directly to her; yet, it was evident she had heard them from somewhere.

“I was told you were sick.” He said not unkindly. He held out the module scanner that detached from the medical tricorder. He didn’t really need the device to see what was going on, but it never hurt to have verification. Plus there was a range of ‘illness’ that she could have inflicted on herself.

The medical scans would show she was drunk with a BAC of .06%. This was well in the range of impairing her judgment and decision-making. The scans would show Jessa was still within the low range of a healthy weight for her size but also indicate she had lost almost 5 pounds in the three weeks she had been on the Atlantis. Aside from this, there was no indication of any illness on the screen. “I was but I feel better now.”

Pulling her eyes off the two men, Jessa brought the large bottle to her lips and gagged slightly as she took a large sip. Every adult she knew drank some sort of fermented beverage when they were sad or upset. Based on the number of fermented ale bottles in Ian and Kelly’s quarters, the pair must be the most unhappy couple on the ship. The clear amber liquid burned her mouth and throat however the discomfort in a way felt good. It was at least different than the constant scared feeling she had lived with for almost three weeks now. She had heard people say one could drink themselves to death and part of her wondered how much it would take to do that. “I promise I am not going to hurt anyone or cause a problem if you let me stay here.”

“In the Federation, individuals of your age are not allowed to drink.” He glanced at the bottles then at the results of the scan.

“Lucky for me I am not part of your Federation and look at that. We finally agreed on something. Check,” she held the bottle out and made a flourishing gesture that matched her word. Jessa giggled after finding her words far funnier than Jack or Rinker seemed to. “Oh come on,” she looked between them, “that was funny.” Her attempt at humor fell short allowing the frown to replace her forced smile.

“I’m going to have to report both the Captain and the CDO for inadequate guardianship. You are going to bed guilty as well, of course, unless you regularly drink you are going to be punished quite a bit in about 4 hours.”

“No no no please don’t do that.” Jessa shifted her position from sitting with her back against the tree to kneeling perpendicular to Rinker. “They didn’t give it to me. They don’t know I am here. I,” she let her voice trail as her mind struggled to complete the sentence. Rinker was intelligent and fair. He didn’t go out of his way to get people into trouble and worked hard to keep them out of trouble. If she gave him a plausible solution, Rinker would accept it. “I stole it. I stole it from them so they are the victims. The Federation is just. They don’t persecute victims. Right?” Jessa felt sick and nervous, unsure if it was from the drink, Rinker’s statement, or a combination of both. “Please,” she put a hand on his pant leg tugging slightly. “I am begging you. I will have nowhere to go. It isn’t their fault.” Rocking back onto her heels, Jessa thumped back into the tree trunk she was sitting next to.

The arrival of Jack and Rinker meant she would be removed from this space sooner rather than later. Instead of screaming or fighting, Jessa turned her gaze off them and back out into space. What was going to happen was going to happen. She was coming to realize that she controlled nothing in her life or her future.

Jessa Novar

Rinker sat down next to her and tugged the bottle out of her hand and took several deep swallows, finishing almost two third of what was left in the bottle. He didn’t really enjoy beer all that much, but it was better in him than in her. Belying that plan, he returned what was left to here. “You shouldn’t drink alone.”

Rinker

“I have more,” Jessa responded rapidly. There was no excitement in her voice but more relief. Taking the bottle from him, she shoved it between her legs and grabbed her backpack. She had only a total of four so by giving Rinker one of them, Jessa would be out. She hesitated for a brief second before handing it to Rinker.

Fixating her gaze on the starfield in the viewport, Jessa spoke. “I have really triffed up, Rinker.” For the first time in the 21 sessions, Jessa participated in, this was the first Jessa admitted fault without blaming someone else. She had intended to throw back the last sip. Instead, Jessa missed her mouth and the liquid spilled down the front of her shirt. Completely unphased by this, she pulled the last bottle from her backpack repeating her statement. “I mean I really really have triffed up.” Balling the neck of the bottle into her sweatshirt, Jessa pulled hard losing a quarter of the ale again on her shirt as she opened it.

“I used to have a family, self-safe, and I threw it all away on a promise.” Her statement was punctuated by a watery laugh followed by a sniff of her nose. “Now I am alone, scared, and always hungry. You say you have all the food anyone could ever want but you don’t. Not for everyone like me.” Jessa did not temper the accusatory tone in her voice.

“It’s not so easy to get food from your machines when you don’t know what to ask for? Do you know what Vrokala cubes or Arcaico berries are? No…” she kept the angry accusatory tone made at the universe right now, “well neither does your machine. So how am I supposed to get something to eat on my own? I don’t! I have to wait for someone to offer me something and if I don’t like it I am triffed again. Even when I remember one of your foods, your machine wants to know how I want it or how much.”

Taking several long gulps, Jessa winced at the sour taste before continuing her monologue rant. “This is why you can’t get Kelly and Ian in trouble for tonight. I wanted coffee. I thought I was smart. I asked for Kelly’s homebrew and got this drak.” Laying her head against Rinker’s arm Jessa let out a deep sigh. She had lied about never feeling safe. There were a few places and people that made her feel safe. “If I swear on my life to be honest, could you maybe ask me a question about something? That way we could call this a session and whatever I say to you in a session is private right? You would not have to report it and I could stay with Ian and Kelly?” Her last sentence was both a question and statement. Jessa thought she was correct in her assumption but not 100% sure.

Jessa Novar