Posted by Captain Kelly Bordeaux (Commanding Officer) in Side sim- River’s office- What are we to our reflections

Posted by Lieutenant River Styxx (OIC Marine) in Side sim- River’s office- What are we to our reflections

Posted by Captain Kelly Bordeaux (Commanding Officer) in Side sim- River’s office- What are we to our reflections
Posted by… suppressed (8) by the Post Ghost! 👻
What was in a mirror. Was it a window into the soul and a reflection of the present or was it the home of the past, a place to look back and think. For River it was a window to someone she no longer recognised. Who was that person she saw before her. Maybe it was a ghost.

In truth River had no idea what was Happening to her she used to be cold and hard, unswayed by anything and never phased by anything. Now 18 months later she was soft and prone to out bursts. The briefing had proved that. Maybe it was the time she had spent in the luxury of ship. Warm food, comfy beds and hardly any threat of death. Maybe it was opening those boxes after so long or maybe it was just that dam letter. All these things had happen close to each other at the worst possible moment, a perfect storm of emotion. Dam emotion why did it have to be so powerful, why couldn’t she just turn them off like she used to be able to do. Why did they have to hit her hard and so quickly.

Why was she so weak to let them in, to let them control her. She had lost men before hundreds of thousands of them. Why where these five weighing on her mind so much. Why did she let them, why did she have to be so dam soft. Without thinking River’s fist shot out smashing into the till by her sink. The pristine white mixed with a trickle of red. Regarding her hand she winced and washed the blood away. The sudden outbursts and rush of pain helped for a moment but soon the emotions where back.

Sighing River left her bathroom and walked the empty rooms of her quarters. Peering at the trinkets and memories stored on the walls within. The memories of someone else someone River didn’t recognise much any more. Her eyes landed on the case of medals all federation except for two one was Klingon the other was Romulan. * was it worth it. Was the cost worth the pay off * River thought to herself * No. Not then. Not Now * Again in the reflection of the glass River saw someone another version of herself, another ghost. Pulling herself away river sat behind her desk. Picking up the old photo that sat there.

She saw the faces and placed her hand on each of them. A happy family, a loving family. “What would you think of me now? Of what I’ve become? I wish I had you both here now to give me your strength. Maybe then I wouldn’t be so weak, so open to emotion.” She said sadness in her voice. Shaking her head she turned to her computer. As soon as she did she saw the letter and wiped her eyes. It read

Dear Lieutenant Styxx

I am writing to you today to inform you that we have begun the exhumation of the mass grave behind the remains of the star fleet base of operations. I understand this news my distress you and I know what I am to ask you next is equally hard.

I must ask for your permission to exhume the remains of Lily Styxx. Though she was not your biological daughter. The records show that her adoption was finalised the day the attack started. As a result you are her sole close relative and it is your permission we need. She will be treated with the utmost care and respect and we will make sure she is put to rest properly.

Please forward your reply as soon as possible

Regards

Lieutenant Richard Dresden

Chief medical officer Acheron
River had no words and she had no more strength to fight the tears that fell. She quickly wrote her reply and moved on. Taking a moment to grab a drink of water and to take a breather. Once she had battled the tears back down she returned to the computer.

“Computer begin dictation of Apology letters” she said shaking. As she spoke she watched her reflection in the window. It was going to be a long night.

Lieut Styxx (Marine OIC)

A chime at the door echoed in the room. Ian waited outside the space not sure how the next hour or so was going to go. The past week the crew had been sucker punched and now they were trying to see out of their big black eye and bleeding nose. This was not something new or unknown in the Federation. Starfleet’s main charter was exploration but space had always been a dangerous place to be. Since the Space Race started back in 1950 on Earth. Thousands of people had died leaving Earth’s atmosphere, colonizing planets, and meeting new races. While it stung right now, at least the Altantis was still in one piece. Other ships on First Contact with hostile races were not that lucky.

Now it was time to get a bag of frozen peas on their eye, shove some cotton up their nose, and regroup.

Ian Boardeax CO

River heard the door chime and sighed, getting up she walked towards it. Normally she would just say come and whoever it was would walk in. But for some reason River felt the need to open it herself. As soon as she did, she regretted it because standing there, right now, on a day like today was the man River wanted to see the least.

It took all of River’s strength not to just slam the door shut and have Ian dragged out of marine country. But something told her to see what he wanted. It would be clear to Ian that River was not in a good mood, and her eyes where red and slick from tears.

“You’ve got a lot of nerve coming down here and showing up at my door ” she said coldly with an undertone of anger “Unless you’ve got one hell of a reason.” she added sharply. River didn’t move to let Ian in instead she stood in her door frame waiting for him to speak. #

Lieut Styxx (Marine OIC)

“Whoa whoa whoa,” Ian said now equally irritated raising his hands. “You want to join the I hate the Bordeaux fan club? I hear they are making t-shirts on deck three. Go get one before they are all gone.” Being a diplomatic officer, Ian was used to tense and emotional situations. If Styxx was so blinded by emotion and hate right now, it was futile to stick around. She, along with everyone else, was looking for a single place to lay blame. Until they moved past this point, it was best to give them space. “It was a mistake coming here. I can see that now so thank you for handling Jessa with the grace and compassion her kind would definitely not afford us. The body is in the morgue. I will contact you when it is released.” Ian turned on his heel to leave Styxx to whatever she was doing before he arrived.

Ian Bordeaux

As Ian tried to walk away two marines came round the corner and stopped dead. One was Freya the Ferasan marine that was on the promenade. She was out of her armour and her dark blue fur, yellow eyes and saber tooth fangs where clear to see. Seeing Freya in this light it was easy to pick out littler things. Like the scar over her left eye and above the right side of her mouth. She looked at Ian then at Styxx then back at Ian “you’ve picked a hell of a day to come down here” she said a low growl in her voice. Freya was obviously feeling hostile but Freya was always hostile it was quirk of her species.

Reading Fersan’s was always a challenge even under optimal conditions and right now nothing was optimal. Their cadence and rhythm of speech always sounded like they wanted to bite off someone’s head to humans. It was only through exposure to their race and reading the room could human’s get some of it right. “It’s been a helluva day to go anywhere on this ship,” Ian responded. Both of their comments were valid. No one felt safe right now but some places felt it more. Only a lunatic would pick up a hornets nest and shake it without thinking they would be stung which is exactly what the Elder’s did. So far the marines had taken the brunt of the attack with the Elders. They would survive. They were Marines, that is what they did however shaking it off took a minute.

“Then its a good job you’re in marine country. After all Marines know how to regroup in hell” she said in her usual tone.

“True but Kill ‘em all, let God sort em out, might be more the quote of the day,” Ian replied back with another well-known saying in the corp. “Imagine their faces though when they find you there waiting for them again.” The original quote was one all Marines learned in boot. It spoke to the indomitable spirit of the Marines to never stop fighting. For a second Ian let his mind wander to the thought of payback and if there was a God in heaven it was not the Union’s version.

Freya nodded “Believe me if the boss told us to raze the union to the ground we would be more than happy to do so.” she said in her usual tone.

“But as we understood it you had something very important to say.” Wraith the second marine said. Wraith was exactly what you would expect form an Orion woman, beautiful, sensual and sultry. But assuming that was all there was to Wraith was the biggest mistake anyone ever made. “However I find myself confused you’ve only been down her for a few minutes. You can’t have said all you wanted too. So why are you leaving? Are you Ok?” she asked in her normal tone soft and seductive. her was no hit of sarcasm or anger in wraith, all there was, was as sense that she was genuinely inquiring if things where ok.

“No Wraith I am not okay. I am so far from okay that okay was a shuttle that left an hour ago with everything on it and no plans to return,” Ian shot back sarcastically, “but even Robinson Caruso was rescued eventually.” His tone was not condescending or flippant. Ian naturally tended to be sarcastic but leaned more toward humor than arrogance. His comment was directly related to how he felt adrift without a sense of direction which was probably mimicked by most of the people in the room and on the ship along with the ever-present optimism he lived by.

Wraith leaned in and hugged Ian “If you need a compass point. There is none better then our CO. She may be brutish and quick to anger but she is our centre. Perhaps try to find a bit of that centre” she said quietly and soothingly so only Ian could hear. While Wraith was defiantly stepping over a few lines. she alaso knew that sometimes a hug was something people needed. And besides Wraith was a very physical being.

Oh we are hugging, Ian thought as he was caught up in the embrace. Wraith did not seem like the hugging sort but the physical contact was soothing in the sense it felt like comraderie which the Atlantis needed sorely right now. “Thank you,” he said as they broke the embrace.

“Mr Bordeaux” River called “My office is open now, if you need to talk about anything. Beside you’re a politician you should be used to a little anger and hate.” she said her tone calm now and far more level. Ian had just caught River at a bad moment. If he had bothered to stay and find out why she was so upset, instead of storming off like that then maybe he could learn to understand a few things.

Lieut Styxx (Marine OIC)

Turning around, Ian took a few steps towards Styxx. “Tell me why I should be used to a little anger and hate?” His tone was not utterly angry and had a questioning lithe to it. “Is there a reason everyone on this damn ship thinks it is okay to blame the Bordeaux’s for what happened?” Part of diplomacy was also stating facts. He stated it loudly enough for everyone to hear. Ian needed it to not make it a soapbox but drive home the point. “Mob and vigilant thinking is great when you are on the side of the pitchforks and torches.” He let that sink in for a moment. Not one of the Marines had acted as if they were ready to mutiny but if they had not rounded up all of the insurgency team members, there was a lot one could do without access to the ship’s systems. “She is the Captian. She is responsible for every action on this ship which means she will defend every damn person on this ship as if it were her own.” He left it at that. His point was clear and not subtle. What if you were the one the aliens had come looking for and how ready would you be to jettison your child for the masses?

“Believe me Mr Bordeaux I know what its like to be on the other end of the pitch forks.” River said her tone knowing and truthful “As for my comment about hate and anger. You clearly misunderstood and took it personally. I was not referring to you specifically I was referring to you vocation and how when you’re a diplomat no matter how hard you try you always make some angry.” she added calmly. Although internally she couldn’t believe she had to explain the intricacies of a snide comment

Settling his gaze on Styxx, he lowered his tone to a far more polite one. “I said what I needed to say, however, I could use a drink.” He did not barge in but waited for Styxx to invite him in.

Ian Bordeaux

“That I can do” River said indicating with her head for Ian to come inside. once he was inside River looked at Wraith and Freya. “No one disturbs me for a while.” she said sternly as she walked into her office and shut the door.

River walked over to the corner of her office stopping Infront of a drinks cabinet “What do you want. I’ve got whisky, scotch, vodka, a few Klingon drinks and a couple Romulan ones as well.” she said as she turned to him “However I wouldn’t recommend anything to strong. As me and you are going to have a nice long chat” she added simply.

Lieut Styxx (Marine OIC)

“Anything is fine,” Ian sat down in the living space and waited for Styxx to come back with the drinks. The cat was let out of the bag in the staff meeting about Jessa’s paternity. While it was not discussed like a topic at the table, the news did impact everyone on some level. “There is not enough booze in the world to get me drunk tonight.”

River looked trough her cabinet and settled on a large bottle worth thick purple liquid in it. She poured her self a glass and Ian “Then we’ll go with this” she said handing Ian the glass “Its called bISuv ‘oH. A Klingon drink, it kicks like a mule but it’s good.” she said simply. the bottle was a gift from a General Ma’chuck. Although Ian dint have to know that.

Taking the drink, Ian took a long swig. One day soon he would sit down with a bottle of this and drink himself into a stupor but that would not be anytime soon. “How are your people holding up?” Ian wanted more of the deeper interpretation only a commanding officer could give. Of course, they were angry and volatile but that wave would pass. Both he and Styxx knew this was not going to be over anytime soon. He needed to know they would be ready and clear-headed.

Ian Bordeaux CO

“You mean are they ready for combat. Yes. In fact a fight would be good right about know. They’re angry, but if I had an enemy to fight I could shape that anger into a weapon against that enemy.” River said truthfully. She knew what Ian meant he had no interest, right away about the actually state of her men all he wanted to know and all she suspected any other star fleet officer wanted to know was whether her marines could fight. Because heaven forbid the elite of star fleet see marines as anything other than disposable meat bags.

“Of course You might not have Marines on-board this ship at all soon, or any personnel for that matter” River said as she walked over to her desk an picked up five padds before walking back over to Ian “I have a stack of these on my desk. All containing something negative from all over the ship and from outside as well.” she said showing Ian the stack of five pads in her hands. “And why do I have these you might ask. Because there are hundreds of people on this ship that have no idea who they can trust or who they can turn to. So seeing as they saw my marine’s make a positive difference and security, they come to us. The two departments in their minds that have the most integrity and did the most dung this crisis. Aside from medical of course.” River added her tone still clam but it had a clear undertone of annoyance not at the people sending her letters, but the circumstances that created this situation.

Ian took another sip of his drink and let Styxx continue talking.

“This padd is a list of transfer request from my marines.” she said handing him the Padd “Some of my marines feel they cannot trust the senior staff onboard this ship, they feel that while they can trust Mardusk and myself, they cannot trust the security of this vessel, as despite everything Marduks did, it was still able to be infiltrated by enemy insurgents in almost every department.” she said pausing for a second “But many of the requests come from Marines who have children. An enemy was able to infiltrate this ship, attack it’s captain and then thanks to Jessa, escape, using the access she was granted to ships systems by members of the senior staff. Allowing them to get to their children and get them under a knife.” she added taking a sip of her drink.

Lieut Styxx (Marine OIC)

Ian polished off his drink and set it on the table. The silence in the room let the sound of the clink against the glass echo slightly. “I am not the Captian, only married to her but,” the paused for a second motioning for another drink, “send those transfers up to the boss lady. She will have them signed and off the ship within the next week. She was drafting a message to all department heads when I left our quarters. Command is already finding replacements.”

River shook her head “Marine transfers are not a simple as star fleet ones. For starter we have no where near as many marines as star fleet officers which means every transfer is a big deal and has to go through process of finding vacancies or people wanting to transfer elsewhere, if we don’t then the fronts that need the marines the most are weakened, or we end up with a bunch of green raw recruits who have never served on a ship and don’t know what to do with themselves.” she said pausing for a moment

“Not only that marine transfers are rare and are usually because a marine has broken some serious rules or they have acted in a way unbecoming of a marine. Which means all these requests have caused major red flags at marine HQ. They have already spoken to me and are considering whether or not to preform a full official review of the Atlantis, her crew, senior staff and her ability to facilitate marines.” she added sighing.

“You don’t say.” His comment was sarcastic but no one was looking at the bigger picture and focusing only on the small snapshot that meant something to them specifically. “Styxx, you need to start looking at this as a tactical mission and buck up camper. This,” he made a swirling motion with his finger, “is above both our pay grades and we are just getting placating comms to make us think we are in the loop. Hell, you want my honest assessment, from a diplomatic point of view. I would not be surprised if the command doesn’t start issuing transfers even if your people didn’t want them and it has nothing to do with what your Marines want.”

“Great just what need a bunch of star fleet drones, posing as marines” She said in an equally sarcastic tone.

Taking the second drink Styxx filled, Ian motioned for her to leave the bottle. “You didn’t hear this from me but you will find out sooner rather than later so think of it as a courtesy,” he raised the cup in a slightly salute of thanks. “She and Mardusk went ten rounds in her office. He threatened to leave three times and went way over the line even with her policy of speaking freely so she took him up on it. Wrote him up with ten counts of charges and sent it away to command. It’s out of our hands if he is staying, transferring or exiting Starfleet.” The comment was powerful and River would be calculating the ramifications in her mind.

“You know as well as I do that Kelly tends to look past people’s records and find the ones with unrecognized potential.” River was one of those Ian was speaking about. The woman’s record made her a hero or a villain, someone to be decorated with the highest honors or remanded into a prison with the key tossed away. Kelly saw the potential in Styxx and jumped at the chance to be a part of her crew.

River listened to Ian, putting her glass down, crossing her arms and leaning on her desk “And how many of those rounds where about you? Or your illegitimate child? Or the fact that Mardusk did what you should have done and alerted the whole senior staff to your massive conflict of interests?” She asked coldly “And how much of the captains severe response was based on the fact that Mardusk was probably trash talking her husband?” she added.

“You need to take a step back right now,” Ian’s tone turned deadly. Taking a moment, Ian decided to go for the jugular since Styxx threw the first verbal punch of this language fist o’ cuffs. “You are crossing a line you do not want to. Whatever you think you are entitled to know get over it. You and Mardusk do not have the clearance to know what is going on. I wouldn’t but as you said I am Jessa’s legal guardian and under Federation law no matter what she has done or did, she is guaranteed certain rights under that law.
Mardusk is just pissed that all access to Jessa has been severed and it is not because Kelly is mad at him. That order has come from the command so take one iota,” he struggled to not raise his voice, “of a second to think on why this might be? Ever think they have a reason to not trust him with her.” Ian let the comment hang in the air.

“You can tell you have no idea how combat works. If Myself and Mardusk had been informed we could have taken steps to minimise the danger to those onboard. My NCOs could have erected the emergency shielding around marine country, which is only accessible in Marine country. Making it harder for the infiltration to start. They could have issued every marine with their armour and rifles. Increasing our fire power and their safety, as the majority of my casualties, that had to go to sickbay, where those marines that didn’t have their armour and guess what. Marine armour has magnetic boots. which means it would been harder for Jessa to lift them up, meaning she would have been more tired and easier in theory to deal with.” She said simply.

“Oh my god Styxx pull your head out of your rear and look at this situation with a clear set of eyes and not with your monocular vision. None of us knew we were basically going to have a mutiny,” Ian felt his anger starting to rise. “You were in the staff meeting when the attack happened. It was a pre-emptive attack and they went after the Marines because you have weapons. Hell none of your weapons were locked away or not of use. You just couldn’t do jack against them. Whoever helped the aliens wanted to test the suits, test our reactions to different scenarios like some war game. You want to make this a personal attack but it happened to all of us making all of us trust none of us.”

“You knew section 31 was onboard. What did you think they where planning to do knit mittens” River exclaimed.

“Oh my god do you hear yourself? Do you? Why would I know section 31 is on board and if I was in on it why would I not have just taken Jessa off the ship and have been done with it? Why would I have risked the life of my wife and the people on this ship if my goal was to remove her?”

“Jessa is proof of how much you value your wife or your matrimonial duties” River snapped.

“And its not everyone people don’t trust, its mostly you and those that are in senior positions on this ship and outside of it.” she added. This whole conversation wasn’t going anywhere and River couldn’t see it advancing anytime soon. Ian was to busy defending himself and trying not to take any blame for anything.

“Understandable but telling. People are always your friend and trust you when it is in their best interest. The people that stick around when times are tough are the ones you lean on. They are the ones I want next to me in a fight because all these naysayers that suddenly can’t trust us to lead should go find someone they can place their trust in because broken trust works both ways.”

“As for whether he could be trusted with her, I’d trust him more than you. Because he doesn’t have an attachment to her. He is far less likely to be swayed by pouts and crocodile tear.” River said finishing her drink

“Yeah and maybe Jessa trusting a few of us is what save all of this,” Ian moved his hands around in a swirling motion. “Look at the feedback videos. You attacked them and she threw up a force field that nothing you tossed at it made a dent in it. Why,” he paused in his half-rhetorical question before posing another one. “Maybe if we tossed her into the brig she wouldn’t have had it would have been the bloodbath. Not every war has to be fought with a weapon. Sometimes it is fought with changing just one person’s mind.”

“And maybe having her locked in the brig under double armed guard on an evacuated deck, would have made it harder for anyone to break her out and in turn break others out. Maybe if you didn’t give her a bloody guided tour of our ship or access to our computer. She would not have known where she was or where to go. Slowing her and the others down.” River replied.

“And maybe you would not be standing here because Jessa was the one that threw up the forcefield in Marine country. Take some time later and look at it with your tactical eyes. If you were not so blinded by your hate you might see that the forcefield was meant to protect you and not them from you because if the aliens were so easily defeated by your weapons they would never have reached the promenade.” Ian was furious and no longer carried about diplomacy. “They were in Marine Country long enough for you guys to put down any threat and you couldn’t,” he spread his arms. “So why did they not wipe you off the face of the universe? Why did Jessa push everyone aside instead of crushing their bones like soda cans? You have been cornered and we both know what happens when something is cornered.” Roughing up his hair, Ian burned off the anger boiling inside him. Styxx could not see past her pain for now. There was no point in belabouring things until everyone’s emotions settled.

“Good job I’m used to fighting a corner on my own. Because no one will listen to me.” River said coldly. She knew that there was no point in continuing this line of conversation. Ian was to blinded by his own failures to admit he was wrong and that he put the people on this ship in danger.

“River,” Ian took a calm, diplomatic tone, “we both know more than the masses. We are also far smarter than the idiots that filled out that stack of requests for transfers. Do they really think a twelve-year-old girl had the ability to take out the Marines and security, the people that have so much faith in the group that just got their asses kicked by said twelve-year-old kid and they don’t have faith in the command team?” Ian let his voice rise in a questioning format. “You and I both know she was helped. Hell, your Marines rounded up four of them so if these people actually think Kelly allowed a kid to take over the ship then it is best they do leave. Once you lose faith in your captain you just don’t ever get that back.” Finishing off his drink in a large swallow, Ian let out a satisfied hiss. “But that is only my two cents. The forms are already logged so they will have to formally request them to be terminated and remain on the ship. Turn them in and see what the Captain says.”

Ian Bordeaux CDO

“Be careful who you call an idiot” River said warningly “Many of those that have requested transfers could of made it as a science officer, or a doctor or hell a diplomatic officer. But they chose to serve in a different way.” she added stepping closer to Ian.

“The problem is they’re not stupid. They know a girl couldn’t do everything she did without help. They know she was helped. They know she was given access to our computer by yourself. They are also very aware that every single one of the section 31 operatives were star fleet officers. Not a single one of them was a marine. Its not the captain they don’t trust, she was down for the count the entire time. Its those around her. Those who failed to share crucial information with Marine detachment commanding officer and the chief of security.” She said enunciating her an Mardusk’s positions “such as the existence of a section 31 cell onboard, or the connection of the child in question to members of the senior staff, members who potential have a lot of sway over the Captain herself.” she added filling her glass again.

“And you are a Starfleet officer who is given information that is on a need-to-know basis. Why do you think you are entitled to know more than the superiors above you? God damned the arrogance in you.” Ian needed to excuse himself from the situation before it became any more volatile. “The reason Kelly and the XO are still sitting in their seats is they have been information Starfleet command of every…single…detail,” he stabbed a finger on the table punctuating his words before standing up from the couch. “Just because you don’t get the classified documents expressing this and commands orders on how to react does not mean they don’t exist. It just means you are the cog in the wheel you lament about every damn chance you get.” Moving around the room Ian paced to let off steam instead of letting it build. Styxx wasn’t the only one capable of throwing out facts.

“I’m not a star fleet officer I am a star fleet marine officer. For the hundredth time, the marines and star fleet are to completely separate entities, and I know how classified documents work, but once that classified information starts running round the ship breaking kids out of prison and attempting to take this ship, classification goes out the window.” River replied. She wanted to say more but she knew it would be pointless. Ian was unwilling to see things from her point of view.

“All of which feeds into the all to prevalent idea that marines exist only to die and be the playthings of star fleet. The common narrative throughout star fleet that marines are lesser, little more than lab rats. As has been proven recently.” she said sternly “And while that narrative is completely wrong, marines are far more then that. Despite my best efforts and those of my superiors, some of which find it hard not to believe it themselves, It is hard to convince people otherwise. Those requesting transfer are asking because their trust has been broken, their lives and the lives of their families, appear to seem inconsequential to the upper echelons of star fleet officers on this ship and star fleet in general.” she said finishing her drink.

Lieut Styxx (Marine OIC)

“Then get a new job,” Ian snapped back, “because your job is not safe. You want to run around crying every time a Marine dies that no one cares then find a new profession because your job is to defend this ship. Your job is to go into places others are not trained for because you are Marines. Marines die because their job is to hold the line. No one held back information from you when you boarded the alien ship. You had all the intel we had at the time and frankly it was the Marine training and your leadership that kept it from being a total blood bath.” Pacing the room Ian looked at the door and turned back to Styxx.

“Thanks to star fleet and their crocked trial, I can’t. I have been labelled a monster a devil, a war criminal. The are no other options for me.” Rive snapped.

“So maybe you shouldn’t just slap a label conveniently on someone they can’t control either.” Ian hadn’t come here for a diplomatic conflict but that was what this was turning out to be.

“I am not a marine but that does not mean as a diplomat we don’t use tactics. Friend to friend I am going to give you my take on the fallout from this debacle from a diplomacy standpoint. I would not be surprised if you are right and the Marine contingent here gets replaced but it won’t be hard to place you. You are delusional about that. Command will split you all up and send you into the deepest darkest career killing hell holes along with everyone else who is whining about how the situation is being handled. Then they will refill the slots with hand picked people. I would not be surprised if they don’t do that to every department in the ship. Break up the rumor mill by spreading out those churning it out. What has happened here is classic dark intelligence ops: Too fantastical to believe but wild enough to keep the boogey man tails alive. Do you think any of us are more than cogs in this? If and I say if because we don’t know how valid Jessa’s claims are, but if they are true do you think the Federation is going to just close off contact with the Galactic Union because they lost a single ship? Do you think they would risk this Union siding with the Romulans? Cardassians? ” Rubbing his chin with his hand, Ian shook his head. “It was a mistake coming down here and an even bigger one coming to your quarters. I am leaving before this gets ugly.”

Ian Bordeaux CO

At that moment all of River’s emotions boiled to the surface her anger, her annoyance her hatred, and all her emotions from her past. River didn’t know what it was that had finally snapped or why it did, maybe it was the stress of the past few days, maybe it was the loss or maybe it was just the unprocessed anger and sorrow she had, had ever since Acheron, but right now All of that emotion was focused on her next action. River grabbed the now empty glass and threw it across the room, its shape allowing it to fly like a mini missile as it sailed past Ian, narrowly missing him by a few millimeters so much so that he would feel the draft from it. The glass crashed into River’s door and shattered right in front of Ian. Whether Ian was the target or not would be anyone’s guess.

“Maybe the union should, bloody, side with the Romulans” River shouted her voice full of anger and sadness “At least the Romulans step up to the plate when they need to. When a planet is under siege and hundreds die each day. A planet where Wives kill their husbands, Children watch their parents die, parents watch their children die and mothers have to bury their own children in mass graves. A planet where fiancées are captured and experimented on” She roared as she grabbed the photo on her desk and showed it to Ian. A photo or a younger River and her family.

“At least the Romulans come to help along with the Klingons. While star fleet sits around and does nothing. Because as you say those men, women and children who are fighting and dying, are nothing but cogs in a machine, a machine so without integrity, so without hour, so without compassion, That it would leave a planet inhabited by millions of its citizens to the mercy of the gates of hell.” River said her voice cracking as tears began forming in her eyes.

“Just like they did to me” she said as she backed up and slid down the opposite wall “Just like they did to my Abi and my Lilly” She said her voice quiet as her finger caressed the young girls face in the picture. Her tears impacting the pictures creating fountains of pure sadness of pure loneliness.

Lieut Styxx (Marine OIC)

“War is hell,” Ian said softly giving Styxx room to process her statement and emotions. “It is why we avoid it at all costs and learn from it with the intention of never letting it happen again but that doesn’t matter in the end.” Taking a seat again, Ian slipped into deep thought. “The great war on Earth in 1914 was named the war to end all wars but twenty years later the armistice that was signed ended world war one created world war two…followed by world war three with each getting successively more bloody. We have the Dominion War, Borg, Cardassian occupation of Bajor and before all of that the war with the Romulans. You are right though. Your pain and loss are just a number to the Federation because they are dealing with billions that have died in the name of keeping peace. No one can feel that kind of pain in a number that large. It is only smaller numbers that gut you. That doesn’t mean your number or that the loss you felt was insignificant or inconsequential. I am no therapist but I tend to be a good listener.” Ian waited for Styxx to begin talking. He knew of Abi and Lily but only in the snippets River had shared previously. Now he waited to see if she would share more.

Ian Bordeaux CDO

River chuckled sadly “You’ve done a sh*t job of listening to me so far.” she said her tone sad.

“Besides why would you care? You’re a star fleet boy scout” She said not looking at Ian but focusing on the picture in her hand “Why would you care that I’m used to less sleep because is still hear the screams of those I lost? Why would you care that on my worst days I see flashes of the dead, those turned into monsters against their will? Why would you care that to get one up on Da’mu I had to open doors I thought i had locked shut? Why would you care that I haven’t slept since because all I see when I close my eyes is blood, wire, death, mangled bodies, children crying and the twisted faces of my former friends gleefully killing those they once new because their new master orders them to?” She asked, River tone would be hard to describe but if one had to take a punt it would be described as forlorn and lost.

Ian allowed Styxx to vent. Before this the marine captain only wanted to lob accusations. Now she was actually talking and bearing her pain.

“Why would you care that I had to bury my daughter in an unmarked grave? That I had to put her out of her pain? Why would you care that my fiancé was experimented on and is now in an institute? And why would you care I just got a letter asking for permission to exhume her?” She asked at this moment every defence River had put up; her anger, her aggression her stern demeanour all collapsed and it revealed what she really was. A broken Woman, a woman who had been betrayed and abandoned by the institute she had fought and bleed for. A woman like so many veterans, had been left to fight her demons on her own. To fight he same battle very day of her life when she tried to sleep, a veteran who had been cast aside and forgotten by society, a person so lost and so alone that to many she wasn’t worth the effort to help.

“Because like you’ve said several times. I’m not a person, I don’t matter. I’m a number, a number that solely exists to die. Because that’s the star fleet way, use up something until it has no more use or makes them look bad and then cast it aside to go onto the next thing.” She said her voice devoid of anything but hopelessness and sorrow. River truly felt abandoned and betrayed and now recent events had reenforced that belief. The belief that no matter what happens not matter how hard she tries, It was all worth nothing. River was a soldier fighting for a cause she no longer believed in, stuck in the enteral purgatory of the next battle, secretly hoping that the next battle would be the last.

Lieut Styxx (Marine OIC)

“I never said you don’t matter,” Ian spoke calmly, “and you are wearing that chip which is the size of a billboard about being just a number on your shoulder. I never assigned that to you nor did the CO and XO of this ship.” Ian did not want to go ten rounds again on that topic but he did want the record set straight. There was a lot to touch on from what River shared. Ian would take it point by point.

“You may not say it out right but the things you attribute to marines does.” River said simply “But its not your fault, its the training you’ve been given, the things you’ve been taught, fault. Star fleet doesn’t know what to do with marines aside from throw us into meat grinders. They don’t knew how to see past that and see what we can do other than fight. We have medics, engineers and MPs but they don’t see how they can utilise all that. Common men and woman who didn’t go through the ivory halls of star fleet academy, couldn’t possible be of use, ship wide.” She added.

“So why are you here? Why are you doing this if you truly believe it is all pointless? I am not looking for some BS answer about duty or the core because if you truly feel like you are working for the enemy why are you wearing that uniform?” While the words might be harsh, the tone in which Ian was using was full of compassion and empathy. He was truly trying to understand the why’s. Why was Styxx here if she no longer believed in the Federation? Why was Styxx still a Marine when the civilian world would be begging for her skill in the private sector? Why did they care about exhuming her adopted daughter? There would be time to answer them all tonight. It was just a matter of the order.

Ian Bordeaux

River sighed deeply “Honestly some days I don’t know. Some days i think about accepting the offer from the Klingons or the Romulans to join there armies. The days when I see others sneering at those that are willing to make the ultimate sacrifice, just like them. But then other days I remember the people that wouldn’t be here if I just gave up, Regimental Sargent Major Qrow, Lance corporal Freya, Sargent Hathorne and Ensign Severan” she said truthfully, of one was to look at those peoples files they had all served under River at Acheron.

“Then there is the letters I get every day, asking for help from those effected form my past. Out of all the organisations that where at Acheron, star fleet and the federation are helping the least. they need a voice, some to fight for them and seeing as star fleet isn’t willing to, that person is me.” She said her tone still sad but clammer. For River she felt she needed to keep fighting for Acheron, in some ways it was to atone for the things she did and in other it was her attempt to beat her past and to defeat all the emotions.

“But then there is the part of name that thinks, despite the insane number of arrogant, self serving, power hungry, narcissistic morons that are in star fleet. It needs to be there, or at least something like it, to protect those that cannot protect themselves. With every battle a part of me feels like I’m making a difference. Helping one planet, or ship or city to get further away from the horrors of Acheron, the horrors of war.” she said pausing for a second to think it over.

“but the more likely thing is that, the River who arrived at Acheron could probably mange a civilian job, But she’s dead. This River” River said pointing to herself “Has only known war, all I know how to do is wage war.” she added.

Lieut Styxx (Marine OIC)