Posted by Lieutenant Junior Grade Janna Kingston (Counsellor) in Pre-sim: Psych eval for the CTO

Posted by Lieutenant Commander Harrison Callahan (Chief Tactical Officer) in Pre-sim: Psych eval for the CTO

Posted by Lieutenant Junior Grade Janna Kingston (Counsellor) in Pre-sim: Psych eval for the CTO
Posted by… suppressed (7) by the Post Ghost! 👻

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“When your life becomes a series of high stakes adventures, and what is asked of you continues to grow, you crave those moments. It’s not about simplicity, it’s about connection. To ourselves, to our purpose, to those around us. We cannot survive without at least some connection. And I don’t even have to specify species or culture here. At least as far as Humanoid species go, we’re all wired to follow what drives us, and I tell you, after years of counselling people and studying behaviour, those mundane moments are worth more than anything in the universe. They remind us as members of Starfleet of what we do out here. We all are defending the Federation and exploring the limits of our being in each our own way. And those beautiful mundane moments are the fuel that carry us even when we don’t realize it.” The intensity remained in her eyes and Janna herself seemed lit up in some sort of way. Perhaps a psi-positive person could more accurately gauge the shift in the psychologist, but for someone like Callahan who was keyed to observe minutea, it was like a different Janna had slipped into the room, or perhaps more accurately, she was revealing something about herself.

~Janna Kingston, CNS

Harrison kept his gaze locked with Janna’s as he leaned forward. “You know,” he said quietly, “for someone talking about mundane moments, you make it sound almost sacred. Are you this intense about other things, as well?”

“Absolutely,” she said frankly, not clarifying which comment she was replying to. Maybe both?

He smirked faintly. “Though I’m still not convinced replicated French toast qualifies as a spiritual experience.”

“Maybe I just haven’t had the right person make me French toast for breakfast yet.”

Lt. Cmdr. Harrison Callahan
CTO-USS Athena

She laughed and the intensity softened. “Perhaps. But it doesn’t have to be French toast, either. But I think a life in space can make us jaded far too easily the longer we’re out here. Some days it’s enough to remind ourselves to look for something small that is magical. That makes us feel like all is right with the Universe. it can ground us.”

~Janna Kingston, CNS

“I’ve spent most of my career treating peace and quiet like a temporary thing. Needed, but still temporary. I try to stay sharp because the next crisis is always around the corner.”

“Maybe that makes it easy to stop noticing the smaller things.”

She tilted her head, her intense gaze returning for a moment.

Harrison studied the counselor for a moment longer.

“Maybe you’re right about needing a grounding? In my line of work, it’s easy to start measuring life only by emergencies, tactical reports, losses, near misses. Maybe finding something small that feels… normal…” He shook his head faintly. “Maybe that’s what keeps people from turning into machines.”

Lt. Cmdr. Harrison Callahan
CTO-USS Athena

She broke into a soft smile. “You said it. It’s easy to focus on staying alive, but that’s suvival, not living. Perhaps the question to ask yourself as you settle in on this ship is ‘what does living look like for me? What could it be? Food for thought.”

~Janna Kingston, CNS

Harrison leaned back in his chair, contemplating Janna’s words carefully.

“You’re probably right, but, I’ve been sooooo focused on the job and trying to discover what happened to my mother . . . . .I don’t think . . . .I know . . . . how . . .to do that.”

Lt. Cmdr. Harrison Callahan
CTO-USS Athena

She let the weight of his words fill the space, and felt no hurry to respond for a couple moments. “It’s hard when we have something that big left open. Many peoples, Humans included, want closure. Neat and tidy endings. But life is tricky that way. It sometimes asks us to carry on without the answers we seek, without that closure we so desperately want and need. The question then becomes: what if we never get that closure? How might we move forward?”

Janna leaned forward. “And let me be clear that moving forward doesn’t mean giving up on your mother. It just means that you don’t give up on yourself and your life along the way.”

~Janna Kingston, CNS

Harrison let her words settle for a few moments.

“I don’t think I’ve given up, but I have accepted the reality of the situation. She was declared MIA with the rest of the crew of her ship. If she/they were still alive somewhere out there,” he waved his hands, indicating the vastness of space, “she or someone would have found a way to contact Command. Would I like closure? Just as much as anyone’s family from the Cairo would. Do I expect closure? No, plain and simple.”

He took a deep breath and let out a long sigh. “Nor have I given up on myself. I’ve advanced my career, risen to the rank of Lt. Cmdr, and have been assigned as the Chief Tactical Officer aboard the USS Athena . . . . no, I haven’t given up on myself.”

Lt. Cmdr. Harrison Callahan
CTO-USS Athena