Posted by Lieutenant Junior Grade Janna Kingston (Counsellor) in Counselor’s Office - Checking In

Posted by Lieutenant Junior Grade Charlie Bailey (Doctor) in Counselor’s Office - Checking In

Posted by Lieutenant Junior Grade Janna Kingston (Counsellor) in Counselor’s Office - Checking In
Posted by… suppressed (8) by the Post Ghost! 👻

(snip)

Charlie smiled and nodded in agreement. She had never really thought about it that way but she had to admit, she was proud of how far she had come.

“Yes, I suppose you’re right, I never thought about it like that…” she mused as she crossed her legs. “I was on my last posting for just under 3 years so I was pretty settled but it just felt like something was missing,” she added as she thought back to why she had wanted a change. Charlie had discovered a lot about herself on her last posting but she had begun to miss the bustle and community of being on a larger ship.

• Lt (jg) Bailey (Doctor)

“Have you figured out what that something is?” Janna asked. There were several followup questions that came to mind, but now she took this slowly.

~Janna Kingston, CNS

Charlie nodded slowly as she thought about her answer. “When I first graduated, I was so excited to be part of a crew and I think for the first time since I was a young girl, I found a sense of family. I made such strong friendships and close bonds but when I moved to the Defiant, I never really made those close connections. I had friends and got on well either everyone but I just didn’t find that same sense of family I had on the Constitution. I don’t know if it was because it was a smaller ship, or if I just didn’t gel with people but I was missing that deeper connection. I guess I’m hoping I can find it here?” She suggested. It was probably the most important thing to Charlie to have a close bond with people, probably on some level to compensate for her own lack of family.

• Lt (jg) Bailey (Doctor)

Janna smiled warmly. “You are not the first to come to this ship hoping to find the same, and indeed many find a sense a family within their crew. But if there is one mistake I often see people make, is that they wait for the family to find them. It doesn’t always work that way, and the Athena can be a mixed bag depending on the point of view you’re starting with. So, what do you think you can do to help build that sense of family here?”

~Janna Kingston, CNS

Charlie nodded slowly as she thought about her answer. “Well I try to get involved with ship board activities when I’m off duty and I love to find people with common interests. On my last ship I helped put together a string quartet and we often played for official events and concerts.” She smiled as she thought back to their last performance at her leaving party. “I also try and befriend people who are perhaps a little bit different. Since I was a child I hated seeing people on their own with no one to talk to so I always made it my mission to make friends with them.” She added with a smile.

• Lt (jg) Bailey (Doctor)

Janna mirrored the smile, but it was genuine- she was glad to see that Charlie had options available to her. “The Athena has plenty of recreation space and you’ll find lots of people willing to be social. And you’ll definitely find your share of unique individuals on board, that’s for sure,” Kingston said with a chuckle. “The ship has a history of missions with large scope and high risk. We’ve brought a myriad of people into the crew that help facilitate those kinds of missions, even though our primary one is supposed to be exploration. I say this as a warning that as you settle in, you might hear stories and rumours, and you’ll meet people who have been through some pretty difficult things. It’s one of those commonalities around here that binds us all together.” She was included herself in that mix as well.

~Janna Kingston, CNS

Charlie nodded, trying to take everything in. “I understand, I’m not exactly a stranger to difficult circumstances…” she added quietly, subconsciously biting her lip. “But I’ve often found during difficult times, the most meaningful and strongest relationships are formed.” She added with a guarded smile. What she and her sister had lived through had been the worst day of their lives but it strengthened their relationship in more ways than she could count.

Quickly changing the subject Charlie awkwardly cleared her throat. “It’s good to hear that there is lots of opportunity for recreation though, do you know if there are many musicians on board?” She asked curiously, hoping she could find some people to play with.

• Lt (jg) Bailey (Doctor)

“There’s definitely some around. The XO plays the guitar and we have a grand piano in the Parthenon, our lounge, that a former CO donated. People sometimes play. I bet if you put out a note, someone might bite.” She noted the emotional shift and could pick up the specifics of the emotion, but for the moment it wasn’t something she felt was necessary to act upon.

~Janna Kingston, CNS

A warm smile grew on Charlie’s face as she thought about playing again. She had always found comfort in music and loved getting lost in an interesting piece. There was something about the precision and certainty of music that she found reassuring, there were no grey areas, you either played the notes correctly or not. Obviously there was room for artistic impression and nuances but there was just a magical quality she adored about it. She felt herself relaxing into her seat a little more as she released a gentle sigh.

“So…is there anything else we need to discuss?” She asked cautiously. In truth she knew the counselor would want to explore her past trauma at some point in the not too distant future and she was in two minds as to whether she wanted to delay the inevitable or just get it over with.

• Lt (jg) Bailey (Doctor)

Janna studied her for a moment. As always, there were paths they could take, but whether they should in this moment was the question. “I don’t know, is there?” she said lightly.

~Janna Kingston, CNS

Charlie sighed as she slumped back in her chair. She wasn’t particularly keen to talk about her past trauma but in truth she had noticed an increase in her nightmares and she didn’t want it hanging over her as she started her new post. “I’m guessing you’ve read about my past…” Charlie said quietly, avoiding eye contact.

• Lt (jg) Bailey (Doctor)

Janna nodded slowly, observing tiny tells even Charlie herself might not be aware of. “I have read through all the notes that came with your file, yes. But that only tells me facts. It doesn’t me about your experience, and what you deal with. I was honest that I’m not here to dredge up things that don’t need to be, but I also have a really great BS meter and I know when people are in acceptance versus avoidance.”

~Janna Kingston, CNS

Charlie gave a weak smile and nodded. She knew she needed to talk about it or it would be hanging over her and she wanted a fresh start here. “Well, I’ve certainly done my fair share of avoiding…” she said solemnly as she took a deep breath. “I guess I’ve got so used to rattling off the incident that it’s become a factual exercise for me, and I haven’t wanted to delve that deep into the effect it had on me.” She mused as she crossed her legs and tried to look relaxed. “I have nightmares about that night…” she added softly, involuntarily shivering as she thought back.

• Lt (jg) Bailey (Doctor)

Janna lowered an arm from the arm rest to her lap and leaned forward ever so slightly. “These nightmares… what form do they take and how often are you having them?”

~Janna Kingston, CNS

Charlie closed her eyes and took a deep breath to try and calm herself. “They are usually the same, just reliving that night, but they feel so real. I can feel the fire burning my arm and the smoke clogging my lungs and stinging my eyes…sometimes I can see my mother running to try and get to us before we are beamed to safety but she never gets to us in time…and I know that’s not true, the reports I have read say that she died in the initial blast but I’ve never been able to shake that guilt that I didn’t try and help her…” Charlie’s voice cracked with emotion as tears gently began to roll down her cheeks. She quickly wiped them away and sighed, bowing her head for a moment. “I used to have them every few weeks but recently they have become a lot more frequent, pretty much every night…” she added quietly.

• Lt (jg) Bailey (Doctor)