Posted by Lieutenant Commander Daggum Hammor (Chief Operations Officer) in Elsewhere- A Honeymoon

Posted by Lieutenant Commander Faye Calloway (Chief Intelligence Officer) in Elsewhere- A Honeymoon

(snip)

Daggum’s eyes fell on the title and his jaw tightened. He knew the history of the book… what it meant. He now also knew that this Kodell still held feelings for Faye. And he had money. And they were on a planet where his money, and his name, meant something. But he also knew that Faye trusted him… at least somewhat. So he kept his breathing normal and held her to him. “How does that make you feel, Faye? Knowing that book is here of all places?”

Daggum

Lifting her face from his braid chest, she forced herself to take a deep breath. “Confused, I think.” She took another moment to gather her thoughts into some semblance of order before she spoke again. “We didn’t move on… he and I. I did finally after you came back into my life and I told you all about this place and him, but it took that long. That book tells me that he was either on the lookout for it or he specifically had someone track down a copy. He hasn’t moved on, Dag. He’s divorced, alone. I think… I think I feel sad for him. I can’t be anything for him. Not anymore. I came here for closure but maybe he needs it more than I do?”

~Faye

“Well… is that a conversation you feel like having?” Daggum asked, his eyes still on the book. “Or do you want to just let it be and go? It’s up to you, and you know I will support you however you decide. But… I do feel like this is the last time we come to Orion. Or, at least, maybe it should be… so this could be the last chance you have. What do you think?”

Daggum

He was right. She had no intention of coming back here ever, at least not without some very damn good reason. This was her chance. She inhaled a shaky breath. “I think there are things that need to be said. I told him as much. We need to say them and lay all the cards on the table. Not just for me, or for Koddell, but for you and I as a couple, for the family we want to have one day. I don’t want this hanging over me as something left unfinished. And maybe I can do something to help him.” She snorted. “Oh strange words given where we are.”

Having made up her mind, Faye took Daggum’s hand and led him down the spiral metal staircase into the atrium. She took a seat at the round table and waited.

Kodell appeared a minute later, slipping in through an arched glass door that connected to the wing of the house that led to the main bedrooms. “Sorry about that. I wanted to make sure I could give you my focus, rather than be distracted by tasks that needed doing.” He took a seat, folding his arms on the table.

Faye gazed at him, not sure what to say first, but of course she knew what had to be said. “You wanted me to find the copy of my father’s book. Why? And when did you acquire it?”

He gaze said it all but Kodell knew she needed him to say it. “Yes, I did. I wanted you to know I remembered. I found it about ten years ago.”

Ten years. Long enough that she was in the mire of her own life in Starfleet. Long enough for him to have already been married. She wanted to move, run away, but Faye managed to remain in her seat. She looked to Daggum for a moment, giving him a ‘Trust me’ expression before she focused her attention on the man who even now held this strange mixed up place in her mind and heart. “Are you still in love me? After all these years?”

It was Kodell who rose and moved away from the table. He stopped, his hand on the banister of the stairs, though on the other side so it was apparent was wasn’t trying to leave the room. “There will always be a part of me that loves you Faye. That loves that brief part of my life where you were in it.”

“Don’t lie to me. Answer my question,” she said softly, her voice carrying more than she remembered it could.

Kodell sighed and turned back to face the table, to face them, pain so visible in his eyes. “I’ve tried not to. I’ve tried to just resign you to some distant memory. But you’re everywhere I go Faye. Don’t you understand? It’s my penance, for all my mistakes. I can’t just walk away from this house the way I’ve always wanted to. So I’m consigned to all the ways you left your mark. On this place. On me. And now you’re here. Married. I don’t know what to do with that, though I will say this… once I realized what harm I was truly causing you all I ever wanted was for you to be happy. I hated sending you away and I knew you were angry with me about it, but I thought I was doing the right thing. I still believe that. I mean, look at you”-he beamed through blurred eyes-“and all you’ve become. A Starfleet officer. In love and married. You deserve to be happy Faye and I am so very glad you found it. Truly, I am.”

“And what about you?” she said, fighting back her own tears. He was right- she had moved on, and most strongly with the man sitting next to her.

Kodell shook his head. “Maybe, one day. But like I said, penance.” He shrugged.

Faye didn’t know what else to say to that so she just looked at Daggum, a deep sadness settling over her. Wasn’t there a way for everyone to have something good?

~Faye & Kodell