Posted by Ensign Viyara Nazeen (Scientist) in Holodeck 2- Therapy in Unusual Places Day 1, Part 2

Posted by Lieutenant Junior Grade Janna Kingston (CNS) in Holodeck 2- Therapy in Unusual Places Day 1, Part 2

Posted by Ensign Viyara Nazeen (Scientist) in Holodeck 2- Therapy in Unusual Places Day 1, Part 2
Posted by… suppressed (2) by the Post Ghost! 👻

(snips)

“I’m glad,” Viyara replied sincerely and rather emphatically. “And not only for selfish reasons. You are a great person. It would have been a big loss if you weren’t here anymore.” A warm smile spread across her face and for a moment Viyara just looked at Janna. When she spoke again, she asked, “How did you manage to move on and accept what had happened to you?”

~Viyara Nazeen

Well, that was the question, now wasn’t it? Janna gazed at Viyara with a soft expression. “There’s no easy answer. It wasn’t a Point A to Point B solution. Part of it was helped by them doing the gene therapy and making my condition less drastic, but I also had to step back and look, really look at myself. I fixated on this one path and I was ready to toss everything away because I suddenly might not be able to walk it. And that didn’t make any sense. But in the end, as these things often are, it was a group effort. The staff in Sickbay did theirs. The counsellor on the Hypatia did hers too, and at the end of the day I had a really good friend who reminded me that I was good at other things too. Yes, maybe I needed to rethink my plan, but there was a way forward if I wanted to find it. Together, with all of us doing what we needed to, I found my way. And while I don’t regret changing career paths I do now and again wonder what if. I don’t dwell there, but I do allow myself the space to imagine. And then I go back to working a little bit each day on being less afraid, of taking tiny and reasonable risks.”

~Janna Kingston, CNS

Viyara nodded thoughtfully here and there as she listened closely to Janna. “I’m really glad,” she said gently and then asked kindly, yet bluntly, “Did you tell me, at least in part, to show me that the same is possible for me?” She didn’t mind if that was the case. She’d still feel the same about it as before: grateful that Janna had shared her story and even honoured.

~Viyara Nazeen

“Partly,” Janna said openly. “The other side of it is that it’s easy to discount someone saying ‘I understand’, but when someone else has treaded before to a place where are at, it’s harder to dismiss them. I can’t make you find meaning in your life and a reason to live it as fully as you can. That has to come from you. But, as you say, I found my way and carrying that experience with me each day I can tell you with a great deal of confidence that you are up for the challenge. You’re a fighter, Viyara. So fight back. Fight against that voice that he put in your mind that tells you you can’t. If not for yourself, then to prove him wrong.”

~Janna Kingston, CNS

“I want to. I really do,” Viyara replied with conviction, her eyes locked with Janna’s. And then, suddenly, she let her torso fall backwards so that she was laying on the grass, looking up at the sky; still cross-legged. “For the longest time, ever since I left Sohiri, I’d say, I though that I was happy and did live my life to the fullest. It’s only very recently that I realised that that isn’t entirely true. I wasn’t unhappy, but I was mostly just locking all those memories and emotions away. Or numbed them. And not only the bad ones. Everything, I guess. I don’t want to do that anymore. Even though just thinking about changing that scares the hell out of me.”

~Viyara Nazeen

“I know,” Kingston said softly. “I get it more than others will, but at the and of the day the people who grow the most are the ones that do something every day that scares them, even if it’s small. So instead of thinking about being suddenly different than you are, Viyara, ask yourself each morning when you wake up: what’s one small thing I can do to be more open, to be kinder to myself and to be more present in my own life? One thing, each day, that’s all it takes.”

Pushing herself to her feet, Janna gestured. “Come on, we have the rest of an assessment to complete and I still want my coffee,” she said with a grin.

Back at the cottage, Janna moved right to the kitchen and starting making another carafe of coffee while munching on bites of a quinoa salad. “Let’s settle in at the dining table and get comfy. We’ll be there for a bit.”

~Janna Kingston, CNS