Posted by Lieutenant Junior Grade Janna Kingston (CNS) in Holosuite 3 - Therapy In Unusual Places

Posted by Ensign Viyara Nazeen (Scientist) in Holosuite 3 - Therapy In Unusual Places

Posted by Lieutenant Junior Grade Janna Kingston (CNS) in Holosuite 3 - Therapy In Unusual Places
Posted by… suppressed (6) by the Post Ghost! 👻

(snip)

Janna inhaled slowly and deeply. “So you mentioned very briefly about the abuse you experienced as a child. Can you tell me about your first memory of it? Who was involved, and the form it took? Whatever details you feel comfortable sharing but don’t feel you have to make it vivid for my sake. Do what feels right for you right now. If I have additional questions, I’ll ask them.”

~Janna Kingston, CNS

OOC: trigger warning differnt forms of child abuse & domestic violence.

IC:
Moving the tension ball around in her hands, Viyara nodded once again, but remained silent for a few moments. Eventually she said softly, “It’s not really my earliest memory, but the earliest where I was directly involved. Before then I only remember him yelling at and hitting my mother. But eventually he treated me the same way. When I was noisy or left toys lying around. Things like that.” Her lower lip trembled slightly and she had subconsciously pulled her shoulders up and forward, but her voice was surprisingly steady as spoke. “But sometimes he was also very tender and affectionate. I didn’t-” Suddenly her voice broke and Viyara gasped a little for air as she tried to inhale deeply and stay in the here and now.

“I didn’t understand and know back them that the way he touched me wasn’t normal. That not every father touched their daughter that way. It didn’t always feel good, but I thought it’s just how things are.” Silent tears began to run down her cheeks and she physically curled up even more.

~Viyara Nazeen

“You’re doing great,” Janna said, keeping eye contact as much as possible, or at least attempting to. “And keep squeezing the tension ball. Even as you talk it can be really helpful to have a different sensory input then the ones that come up when we talk about intense memories.”

“How long did this continue with your father? And did anyone else ever know about any of it, ever?” Kingston asked, trying to be specific but also giving Viyara room to formulate an answer.

~Janna Kingston, CNS

Grabbing the tension ball as hard as she could, Viyara shook her head. “Not as far as I know. I was in the hospital a few times, but he always had plausible explanations. And .. and … and it continued till I ran away from home when I was sixteen.” Her voice was barely audible above the sound of the waves, her expression full of desperation as she glanced up at Janna.

~Viyara Nazeen

“What happened after that?” Janna asked simply. She wasn’t interested in the personnel file list of events. She wanted to understand how Viyara moved forward and the kids of choices she had made.

~Janna Kingston, CNS

Brushing the tears from her cheeks, Viyara took a few deep steadying breaths before answering Janna’s next question. “I move around a lot for about three years. Working wherever someone would hire me. Getting involved with a lot of people. Often staying with them. Eventually one of them nudged, well pushed, really, me to apply at Starfleet Academy.” She wasn’t ashamed of that part of her past, but she felt awkward talking about it and thus glossed a few things over and gave Janna only a short version of that time of her life.

~Viyara Nazeen

“These people you got involved with and lived with, did they ever hurt you in anyway?” Kingston asked as she reached for her bag and grabbed her own water, taking a swig of it ad holding it in her hand.

~Janna Kingston, CNS

Her cheeks turned pink as she felt shame wash over her. “Yeah, some of them. Especially in the beginning,” Viyara admitted, her gaze fixed on her blanket.

~Viyara Nazeen

Kingston nodded and reached for Viyara’s almonds, handing them to her. “I know it may feel weird to be eating while we talk about very emotional things but it’s one of those coping techniques that keeps us grounded.”

“Okay,” Viyara replied with an ‘if you say so’ sort of expression as she took the almonds from Janna and popped one into her mouth.

“You said, especially in the beginning. What changed as time went on?” Janna asked.

~Janna Kington, CNS

Viyara frowned slightly as she pondered that question. “I’m not entirely sure, but I guess I did in a way? Maybe? I don’t know. I mean, I ran away for a reason. I think I learned what was and wasn’t okay for me and to stand up for myself. But …” She hesitated for a moment, helping herself to another almond. “I also became better and better at not letting anyone get close to me emotionally. That way I could only get hurt physically and that’s not so bad. In some cases it can actually be a lot of fun.” She winked and suddenly her most mischievous smile reappeared on her face.

~Viyara Nazeen