Posted by Ensign Viyara Nazeen (Scientist) in Viyara’s Quarters - Call for help

Posted by Lieutenant Commander Daggum Hammor (Chief Operations Officer) in Viyara’s Quarters - Call for help

Posted by Ensign Viyara Nazeen (Scientist) in Viyara’s Quarters - Call for help
Posted by… suppressed (10) by the Post Ghost! 👻

(snip)

“You are. And anyone would be a fool to not want to be with you, V. You aren’t too complicated or too broken. You are just you. And you are good enough. And anyone that says you aren’t is going to deal with me. Got it?” he said and lifted her chin so she was looking at him.

Daggum

Viyara nodded silently and as she did, she suddenly felt tears run down her cheeks again. Even though trying to hide those new tears was useless as Daggum was looking straight at her, Viyara instinctively tried to turn her face away from him and quickly lifted her hand to wipe them away.

~Viyara

Daggum lifted her up off the window and held her close. “V… I’m so sorry… I am… just… just tell me what to do. Anything. Whatever you need me to do I will.” he said softly as he held her close to him.

Daggum

And just like that Viyara suddenly had to fight hard against her instinct to push him away; physically and with her words. “You did nothing you need to apologise for Daggum,” she said softly, her voice quivering. “I don’t know why I’m crying again … maybe … maybe because I wish I could believe you that I’m good enough … but I just can’t …” Her voice trailed off and she looked down at carpet.

~Viyara

Daggum looked at her and his face was filled with regret… but he smiled.

“V… ever since I met you… I’ve known you are special. And the time we get to spend together is the best I can remember in I don’t know how long. I don’t waste my time with fools or those that aren’t worth it. V… you are worth it. And if I knew how to love more than one person at a time I would… there is no doubt in my mind. So you are good enough. I just wish you could see you the way I see you.”

Daggum

Slowly lifting her gaze and her left hand, she cupped his cheek tenderly. “Daggum, I can believe that you see me that way. I may not understand why, but I think I can believe it because I … I trust you. But …“ Viyara sighed softly and shook her head. “I can’t see myself that way and I can’t believe that anybody else might. I have been told and shown too often that I’m not good enough and not lovable. And that’s okay.“

~Viyara

“Then its probably time you start listening to different opinions, don’t you think? Why give the ones that say you aren’t good enough more credit than those of us who say you are? How does that make sense?” and he smiled at her.

Daggum

“Because you are the only one who thinks that way about me. I don’t understand why you do, even though I believe you that you see me that way.” Viyara sighed softly and once again hugged her knees tightly to her chest; her nails digging into her skin as she did so.

~Viyara

bump :)

“V… thats not true. And until you can let yourself see that, you are always gonna be unhappy. You have to try and let go of the past. It’s hard to do… trust me, I know… but the past is only as important as you make it. And once you can let it go… V, you’ll be so much better off. And that will let you find the one… or hell, ones… that love you and want to be with you. But as long as you and them have to fight your past… you are in for a huge uphill battle all the time… and that’s just gonna wear you out.”

Daggum

And jut like that her temper flared up again and Viyara glared at Daggum. “You make it sound so easy. Like I can just flick a switch. Like I just don’t want things to get better. As if I enjoy this.” She made a gesture with one hand that encompassed herself and her quarters. And just like that her anger turned into despair. “I don’t, Daggum. I hate it. And I am trying. I am trying so hard every f§&%($# day. I’m tired of trying. I’m tired of fighting. I’m tired of everything,” she somehow managed to say between sobs.

~Viyara

Daggum slowly extricated himself from her and stood up and went to the replicator. He got a cool glass of water for each of them and came back and sat down. “Here, V… drink something, ok? Just take a breath for a second.”

Daggum

Reaching for the glass more or less automatically, Viyara held onto it for several moments without actually drinking any of the water. It wasn’t till her sobs had slightly subsided that she finally took a few small sips. Putting the glass down onto the coffee table she turned towards Daggum and whispered, “I’m sorry. I know you know it’s not that easy and that you never said it would be. I shouldn’t have snapped at you like that. I’m sorry.”

~Viyara

Daggum looked at her and said “V… I’m really worried about you. I mean, I get that you feel weird… but this is more than that. You see that, don’t you?” He was concerned, deeply concerned, and it showed on his face. “Can I help at all?”

Daggum