Posted by Lieutenant Junior Grade Janna Kingston (CNS) in Counsellor’s Office - Thus things continue to unfold

Posted by Ensign Viyara Nazeen (Scientist) in Counsellor’s Office - Thus things continue to unfold

Posted by Lieutenant Junior Grade Janna Kingston (CNS) in Counsellor’s Office - Thus things continue to unfold
Posted by… suppressed (3) by the Post Ghost! 👻

(snip)

“So it doesn’t mean I can’t do my job, can’t be a Starfleet officer anymore?” Viyara asked hesitantly, while also feeling a spark of hope inside her. Up until this moment she hadn’t even consciously realised that that had been something she worried about.

“The symptom you’re experiencing can be managed. If this is what you want to do, the only one who will stand in your way is you, Viyara. If you do the work required, I promise you things will start to go smoother for you,” Janna said sincerely. She didn’t make promises lightly and this one was all about what Viyara herself could do.

Viyara took a deep breath and then nodded as she told herself that she could do this, that she would do whatever it took to get better.

“As for your question: Maybe that I’m slowly learning to ask for help and to trust other people? To rely not only on myself, but on others as well?” Viyara asked uncertainly. Her brows were still pulled slightly together, but she seemed a tiny bit more at ease than she was moments ago.

~Ensign Nazeen, Scientist

Janna nodded with a warm smile. “Sounds like a pretty lovely thing to me. And the thing I think we really need to emphasize here is that you made that choice. There are a lot of things you can’t control and will never be able to. But how you react to things is within your control. But it takes practice and before you leave my office today I’m going to give you a few tools to help you take control over the things you get a say in, alright?”

~Janna Kingston, CNS

“Alright,” Viyara replied, her voice trembling a little and yet there was a hint of determination on her face. “It feels … scary, but I want to do this. I don’t want things to continue to go down hill. I don’t want to snap at people.” She dropped her and moved her hand to the tension ball in her pocket. She didn’t actually take it in her hand, but ran the tip of her fingers over it through the fabric of her uniform pants.

~Ensign Nazeen, Scientist

“That’s good,” Janna said. “Sometimes knowing what we don’t want is just a useful as knowing what we do want. So makes notes of those things as well. As you continue to write down you emotions and the events or thoughts immediately preceding them, we’ll start to be able to see some patterns emerge. Knowledge is power, Viyara, and right now you’re gathering very important information about yourself. Let it unfold as it will.”

Viyara nodded thoughtfully after lifting her gaze again to look at Janna. Though while she nodded, she also bit really hard on her lower lip. Not hard enough to0 break the skin, put hard enough that she could feel the pain.

“Tension ball, Viyara” Kingston said simply, having been deeply observing Viyara. No judgement, just a gentle reminder. It was a practice, after all.

Even though Janna’s words were gentle, Viyara flinched ever so slightly. But she did stop biting her lip and pulled the tension ball out of her pocket instead.

“Do you have any more questions at this point?” Kingston asked.

~Janna Kingston, CNS

Unclenching her jaw muscles, Viyara shook her head. “No, I don’t really think so,” she said softly. “Thank you Counsellor.”

~Ensign Nazeen, Scientist

Kingston smiled. “You’re welcome. But before I give you your homework, I want you to add another thing to your daily practice list. I know it’s going to be hard, but I want as you to go through each day, each hour, each minute to remember something very important. And that is that what we’re doing here, what you’re learning is a practice. You cannot expect mastery over any given task right away. You will find some days it’s really hard and you have more missteps than steps forward. Progress is not a straight line and perfection is actually an enemy of mastery. It’s through our mistakes and missteps that we can make the biggest progress. Remember the discomfort. Let it guide you and tell you when you’re on the right track.”

Holding tightly onto her tension ball, Viyara sighed softly and then nodded. Of course she knew and understood that everything in life took practice to get really good at it. And at the same time she wished that someone would just snip their finger or wave a magic wand or something and make everything okay.

“Okay, homework. Continue your journal and making your observations”-Janna held up fingers as she itemized those observations-“Emotions, triggers, any time harm yourself and possible triggers, and the same for any time you dissociate. We’ll meet in two days. I’ve booked Holosuite One for thirteen hundred hours.”

~Janna Kingston, CNS

Viyara nodded again as she rose to her feet. “Okay. See you in two days. Have a good day, Counsellor,” she replied and started to make her way towards the door.

When she was nearly at the door, Viyara suddenly turned around and asked, “Other than my journal and tension ball, shall I bring anything or wear something specific?”

~Ensign Nazeen, Scientist