Posted by Lieutenant Helena Karítas Laursen (Helm/Nagivation Officer) in Memory: End of First Year Training Mission

Posted by Captain Marceau Renault (Commanding Officer) in Memory: End of First Year Training Mission

(snip)

“It’s overcautious but I agree,” Marceau said, nodding to Akela. He took the ice pack and rested it against Helena’s ankle. “Don’t be afraid to move it, but don’t overdo it, either.” When he had the ice pack against her ankle, he moved up and sat by her, looking at her. With Akela gone and everyone else back to watch or sleep, they were pretty well alone, so Marceau lowered his voice, “You as peur of dogs? You’re scared of them?”

~ Marceau

Helena pulled one knee up as she set her coffee down. Her arms wrapped around her knee, hugging it to her. Eyes staring hard at her ankle as she flexes it experimentally without too much pain. “Yeah,” she took a deep shuddered breath. “When…when I was 14…my parents took us to Alaska to watch the Iditarod. We were out a few miles or so from Anchorage. We wanted to get away from the crowd and see the…dogs run. It was late after they passed we spotted this dog…thought he got out of his pen....” Helena shook her head, “We…had heard wolves and dogs howl…howling like that. Didn’t think much of it.” She dropped her forehead to a her knee for a long silent moment. “It was wild, hungry, I don’t know…it…” She sat up slowly, visibly shaking and undid the collar of her uniform and slipped it half off her left shoulder. The firelight and flickering shadows catching and defining the long deep scars across her shoulder. Marceau had seen the scars before, of course. He had never asked, and Helena didn’t talk about it.

Helena

Marceau had seen the scars, but only once. When they’d played poker in his quarters before leaving. Of course he had wondered, but he hadn’t asked. He wouldn’t ask a question like that. Now that she was telling him, he hugged her, pulling her tightly to him, comfortingly. “I’m sorry that happened.” He said softly, still hugging her. It was one of those hugs she’d seen him give Lucy, like when Lucy failed a test in a subject she struggled in.

~ Marceau

Helena hadn’t realized she needed a hug until Marceau pulled her in tight. Her head ending up in his shoulder, and his brave pilot began to cry.

“Ca va aller, mon pilote intrepide,” Marceau said softly to her as she cried, hugging her tightly. (It’s going to be okay, my brave pilot.) He sat in silence with her for a little while, letting her cry quietly against him.

No sobs or blubbering but a strong rushing release of fear and adrenaline as the horrible memory returned. After long moments with her only the sound of the crackle and hiss of the fire, the worst seemed to be over. Helena hugged him back and then sat up wiping her face on the sleeve of her jacket. “I’m sorry,Marceau. I didn’t think…I didn’t know it would be an issue. I honestly didn’t even think about it. I guess I owe everyone an apology.”

Helena

“If you owe them an apology, then do I owe them one for being afraid to fly?” Marceau asked. “We aren’t going to run into dogs in space. Most likely. We are going to have to fly… beaucoup.” (A lot). He looked at her and smiled. “So nothing to apologize for, yes?”

~ Marceau

Helena looked at him a moment and then a little smile peeked out. “Maybe not an apology, but an explanation. We are lucky we were in camp. If we had been hiking I could have really been hurt in the dark and taken someone with me.” That idea didn’t sit well with her. She did reach over and squeeze his hand. “Yes we have to fly, but I will do the flying, yes?” She asked in a gentle imitation of him. “But there is no guarantee we won’t see,” she shuddered slightly, “dogs or something like them on alien planets. I will have to find a way to control my fear.” Like you do she thought. Marceau was afraid but he never screamed or fainted from that fear.

Helena

Marceau nodded. “An explanation then.” He looked at her and smiled, “Right… You’ll fly.” There was a note of nervousness in his voice. He didn’t scream, unless there was bad turbulence, and he never fainted, instead he sat in silent panic, hanging on to whatever was closest to him, clenching until all his muscles were sore. “I will deal with the space dogs, and you’ll fly me.” He said it like it was fact, with certainty as he smiled again.

~ Marceau