Having been released from Sickbay to her quarters, Faye moved through the terribly bright ship slowly. On the outside, no one would know she was definitely not okay as she simply pretended to meander through the corridors. In the turbolift she could at least close her eyes., but the relief was brief when she reached her deck and still had the walk to her door.

After what felt like an intolerable amount of time, Calloway reached her door, keyed in the code to unlock it and stepped inside. She immediately closed her eyes and exhaled. “Computer, lights one-quarter.”

Opening her eyes, she felt instant relief as she as no longer being blinded by the lighting. Giving herself a moment to adjust, she tried to breath normally before moving about slowly to get her bearings. Her eyes were fine, but there was definitely a residual sensitivity that was making her tired. Resting a hand on the back of a dining chair, she paused and took another breath. But it felt difficult. She forced another one, but instead of a calm exhale, it came out as a choked sob.

It was a flood of emotion washing over her and Faye realized she had been holding it back the entire time in sickbay. Hell, even in the jefferies tube she had resorted to her ‘training’ by the Romulans to keep herself for reacting to the massive amount of pain she had been in. But here in the quiet privacy of her quarters, she felt it all in a strange delayed reaction. Her hands were shaking and she had to brace herself against the chair to keep herself on her feet.

She had yet to be able to describe the kind of pain that the Tal Shiar had generated in her brain care of the implant that Dr. Ryley had so graciously removed. But now she had a damn good reference point. Have your entire face and neck covered in second degree burns and exist like that for awhile and that would approximate what they had done to her to teach her self-control. Bastards. Actually, she had a very colourful set of phrases for them that still didn’t seem enough.

She had worked so hard on her recovery but in this moment those memories felt far too close to the present and it made her feel broken. Reaching up, she slowly drew her hands up her face, wiping the tears but really just reminding herself that she had been healed and everything was fine. Yep, ‘fine’.Her mind had yet to drift to her project and the mess she would have to sort out tomorrow. Tonight though, she would avoid thinking about it.

~Faye Calloway, Data Specialist