Posted by Fleet Captain Alexander Cochrane (Commanding Officer) in Songz Quarters- Sorrows of the Known Variety

Posted by Civilian Sair Songz (Counselor) in Songz Quarters- Sorrows of the Known Variety

Posted by Fleet Captain Alexander Cochrane (Commanding Officer) in Songz Quarters- Sorrows of the Known Variety
Posted by… suppressed (9) by the Post Ghost! 👻

(snip)

“Thank you,” she said to Shedda as she left.

Sair inhaled deeply and slipped her shoes off. She didn’t bother changing and instead just grabbed a blanket from the couch and slipped into Koro’s room. His was sleeping on his stomach with his head facing outwards and his arms splayed above his head. She smiled and moved around, settling carefully onto the bed besides him. Blanket draped over her, she stretched over him and kissed his cheek before she settled in to sleep beside him.

Koro had been up late and slept a little little later, but he woke up far sooner than Sair would have liked given the later hour when she had returned. She was awoken by something on her skin and she startled awake only to find Koro touching her cheek. “Mira, you’re back?” Sair nodded. “Does that mean… does that mean Mirane is…?”

She nodded again. “Yes, baby, she is gone from her body.”

“Where did she go?”

Sair took a deep breath and snuggled in closer. She explained how Kobliads didn’t believe in an afterlife, but that in her time out in space and meeting many other peoples she had learned many different beliefs. She also told him about the physics concept that Alex had brought up . “In the end, I don’t know, Koro. What I do know is that Mirane loved us deeply and having that concert with Surane was a very happy moment for her. She is always with us inside our hearts and our minds, and maybe out in the stars too. We’re all a part of everything. That’s what helps me.”

Koro turned, snuggled in close and cried for awhile. But Sair didn’t have tears. Not right now.

A couple hours later, Sair had given Koro some breakfast and her father had come over. They had spent some quiet time together playing games and colouring with the boy. He was eating a snack and she decided to finally check her messages. She drew in a deep breath as she read Alex’s note from last night and read it to her father.

“It’s a lovely idea. I think your mother would be honoured. Though, I think we do half out here and I take half back to Kobliad. That feels right.”

Sair nodded. “I agree.”

A little while later, Sal took Koro to the garden for a walk and to spend that precious time together. Sair sat in her quarters and sent a reply back to Alex.

||Both my father and I think it’s a lovely idea, though we also agree that he will take half of my mother’s ashes back to Kobliad. I’m in my quarters if you don’t mind dropping by. Koro is out with his grandfather in the garden.
~Sair||

~Sair Songz, CNS

Ten minutes later, the chime rang. Alex had received her message and made sure to make the proper arraignments before going to the Counselor’s quarters.

Alex

“Come in,” she said, her voice sounding tired even through the door speaker.

Inside, Sair was sitting on the sofa near the window. She was sitting sideways on the sofa with her knees resting against the back and her arm on top of the back cushion propping up her head. She turned her pale brown eyes on him. “Hello, Alex,” she said. Pages of colouring were strewn across the coffee table and his blocks had obviously been in use near a basket and were set up a set of towers he had been working to connect. One had fallen over and been left as is.

~Sair Songz, CNS

Alex came in and walked towards her. He sighed and said “I am so very sorry for your loss, Sair. Is there anything I can do for you?”

Cochrane, CO

Fingers in her pale pink hair, she looked at him and blinked. “I honestly don’t know.” Lowering her arm, she patted the back of the couch. “But you are free to join me. I’m… I don’t know what. Thoughts are spinning through my head and I’m not sure what to make of any of them. I’m pretty sure there are no answers, so I’m just… here. Koro and my father will be out for awhile and I feel like I should do something but I couldn’t tell you what.”

~Sair Songz, CNS

Cochrane sat down and put his arm across the back of the couch. “I think that is a pretty normal place to be. And no one is going to tell you that you have to know what to do right now. I think… I think you just need to feel all of it.”

Cochrane, CO

She drew in one measured breath at a time, her mind evaluating the arbitrary quality of that breath. Arbitrary because there was nothing to be gained in the moment from this observation. “That’s just it. Right now I don’t know what I’m feeling. I’m a counsellor and I don’t know that I could identify anything. Except perhaps about Koro. Having to explain death and what happens to someone older is one thing, but to a three year old?” She shook her head. “I just know that it’s going to led to questions I’m not sure I’m ready to answer.”

~Sair Songz, CNS

Alex smiled softly and said “Sair… we never are.” He sat his hand on hers and patted it. “All we can do is deal with those questions as we get them; and never shy away from saying we don’t know the answer.”

Cochrane, CO

She shook her head softly. The problem was that she did know the answers, at least to some of them. “I’ve lost track of how many people I helped find their peaceful end, Alex. Too many and it hurt too much after awhile. This was the first time it was for someone I had a personal connection with, whom I loved. And Koro is going to start learning more about our people, about our condition and he’s going to ask questions. Like, Mama, will you die like that too? And I can’t lie to him. Because yes, I will. But he won’t have that same fate. Nor will any of the children of his generation. It’s the only hopeful thread I can hold on to.” Her gaze returned to the stars. “I have twenty years before I have to start watching for symptoms. But given developments, maybe they can stave off some of the worst of it. Though that means I still have to take the dueridium. Hope I never have supply issues.” She gave a bitter chuckle and looked back at him. “I never cared about dying myself until I had Koro. And I’m not going to hide our reality from him. But I remember when I was little and first learned about all of it. It’s heavy, Alex, and it’s not something you can just set aside. And I feel sad for my son, for any siblings he might ever have.”

~Sair Songz, CNS

Alex watched her as she spoke, and he sighed in support of the weight she carried. ” I cannot begin to imagine the toll this takes on you and your people. But I am glad Koro has the memories of her he has. And the ones he will make with your father… and you.” He looked out the window for a long time in silence and then said “Family is… fragile. Most individuals believe otherwise, but it’s true. From my perspective, if I am allowed the privilege of such, there is a blessing in the condition of your people, Sair. Watching you and Koro and Kel and Sal… listening and talking with you… your people treasure those bonds more than any other species I have ever met. You take them more seriously, but more effort into building them… and take great pains not to destroy them. There is a certain… value… that something inherits when you know it isn’t forever. You don’t take it for granted. And that is a truly wonderful gift.”

Cochrane, CO

She nodded. “Yes, I think I agree. It’s been hard to explain how hard leaving Kobliad was for me. My mother and I have always been such vastly different people, but it didn’t mean that we didn’t love each other and want the best for the other.” Sair inhaled, blowing out that breath. “I am very grateful we had the opportunity to spend time together before her symptoms got so bad.” A smiled actually graced her face. “Last night… it was magical there for a time. Singing with Koro, getting to experience my father’s music- I will hold on to that for the rest of my days, as I know Koro and my father will too. So thank you for helping with all of that. For bringing my father out here. Being together was an unexpected gift.”

~Sair Songz, CNS

“No thank necessary.” Alex said with an understanding smile. “I am just glad that it could happen… and I sincerely hope that your mother enjoyed her time with us as much as we enjoyed her. She was a singular individual that I do not see myself forgetting.” He sighed and then said “Do you want us to hold a ceremony for her with the crew? Or would and your family prefer to keep it personal? I will do whatever I can to make sure that you have whatever you need.”

Cochrane, CO

“If there is one thing I know about my mother it is that she wouldn’t want a spectacle. So something small would be good. In the garden, I think,” Sair said, nodding to herself as the idea settled into her mind. “But if members of the crew want to attend, they are more than welcome.”

~Sair Songz, CNS

“Simply say when, and it will be handled.” Cochrane said. “Nothing elaborate. And I altered our course to return to the Songz-Manhattan System. We should arrive in two days. If you want, we can do it then. But that is wholly up to you.”

Cochrane, CO

Sair nodded. “I think that would be perfect,” she said simply. “Dr. Hudson kindly is seeing to processes in Sickbay in preparation, and my father will take half back with him to Kobliad. We can release the rest as you suggested.” Sair almost smiled. “My mother will truly be galactic now. I’m sure even five years ago she would have rebelled agains the idea. Kobliad was her home and she was entirely devoted to the place. That hasn’t changed, but her perspective had.”

~Sair Songz, CNS