Posted by Lieutenant Ben Hudson (Chief Medical Officer) in Sickbay- Letting Go

Posted by Civilian Sair Songz (Counselor) in Sickbay- Letting Go

Posted by Lieutenant Ben Hudson (Chief Medical Officer) in Sickbay- Letting Go
Posted by… suppressed (1) by the Post Ghost! 👻
<SNIP>

Sair gave a fervent nod. “Thank you,” she said, before stepping back over to her family, giving Koro a soft smile. He was sitting on the edge of the bed, supported by Sal, and with Kel holding his little hand in hers. Sair sat behind Koro on the side of the bed, resting a hand on her mother’s legs. Her eyes skimmed the readings and she gazed at Kel long enough to suss out where she was at.

“We were just talking about one of the old traditions,” Sal said, his voice soft and calm. He seemed so steady and yet she knew her father well enough to know that he was struggling as well, even if it seemed less.

“Did you know about the kupas?” Koro said, turning to look at her.

Sair smiled at the reference to the trek families did to spread their loved one’s ashes in special places. There were these small creatures that would come out in the wooded areas of their home region and seem to bear witness to the rite. It was like they knew because they never showed up in groups any other time. “I did. It’s a pretty special thing that used to happen. But I like to think we can create our own special moments at anytime, don’t you?”

Koro smiled ever so slightly and nodded. He looked back and forth between Sair and Kel, his face slipping into a frown. But he never said the words that seemed to sit on his lips.

Kel squeezed his hand. “It’s okay Koro. I know things have been confusing lately and you know I’ve not been well. If you have questions, you can ask them.”
“Really?”
“Absolutely,” Sair said.

Koro thought for a few moments and looked at Kel. “You’re not going to get better?”
Kel drew in a shaky breath and shook her head. “No, sweetheart, I’m not. You see, you know I’ve been unwell for awhile now, and my body is very tired.” She looked at Sair, her eyes saying everything.

Sair ran a hand over her son’s hair. “Koro, Mirane’s body is shutting down. The different organs that make everything work can no longer do their jobs. And we can’t live without these organs working.”

“Will it hurt?” he whispered.

The trio of adults didn’t dare look at each other. Sair was not going to lie to her son, but at the same time she was all to aware that he would have other people he loved go through this process. He would not. At least, not like this. “It can, but I’m going to give Mirane some medicine so she won’t hurt and after awhile it will make her very sleepy and she won’t feel any of it.”

Koro burst into tears. “I don’t want you to go!”

Kel tried to pull him towards her, but she was too weak, so Sal (eyes welling with tears) shifted Koro forward into Kel’s arms and Koro curled up with her. “I know,” she whispered. “I don’t want to go either, but you know what makes me smile? You, and your mother and Surane. I am so happy that we all got to be together, and you being here right now makes it hurt a little less pico. And it’s okay to be sad. It’s also okay to be happy at times too. There are no rules.”

Koro snuggled in closer, whimpered cries muffled by her body.

Sal moved over to Sair and wrapped an arm around her, holding her against his body. “And I am glad we got to have such a special evening. It will be a memory we will always have.”

They stayed that way for another ten minutes, but a beep on the monitor drew Sair’s attention and she watched her mother wince in pain. They gazed at each other for a few moments before Kel nodded.

Sair moved to stoop at the bed near Koro. “Sweetheart, I need to give Mirane her medicine now and she will be too sleepy to talk or anything. Now, if you want to stay, you can, but it’s also okay if you want to go back to our quarters and sleep in your own bed. Shedda said she’d stay with you if you did.”

Koro sat up and frowned, looking at all the adults. After a moment he turned and leaned over, kissing Kel on the cheek. “Good night, Mirane. I love you.”

“I love you do my darling. Never forget that.” She moved her hand over and squeezed his before Sair picked him up and carried him over to the waiting area where Shedda was. It was long past Koro’s bedtime and he was rather drowsy himself, all but falling asleep over her shoulder. “We gave him the choice to stay or not but Koro wants to sleep in his own bed, and Mirane needs to sleep now as well.”

~The Songz Family

Shedda walked over and carefully and easily transferred Koro into her arms and let him lay against her shoulder. She squeezed Sair’s shoulder, offering what little comfort she could. She didn’t leave until Sair was ready for her to take Koro. Then she walked out of sickbay with the sleepy child. “Come on Koro, I’ll stay with you, and I’ll even sing you a song my father used to sing to me.” Shedda didn’t sing often. Usually only alone. It was one of those things that Orions excelled at, so she avoided it. Their voices were naturally and excessively pleasing. Her father had been known on Orion for his voice, and Shedda had inherited that ‘gift’ from him. However, considering the circumstances and it was Koro, she could do that for him. As she carried him through the corridors she softly sang the lullabies her father used to sing to her.

Cmdr. Mal’athar, XO

Sair stood there for a moment before returning to her parents. She gave her mother another dose of painkiller and sat down next to her. The trio talked for awhile longer before it was obvious it was time.

She moved across Sickbay and found Hudson. “It’s time. I just need you to witness everything and later in the report confirm all the protocols were followed.”

~Sair Songz, CNS

The PaDD on the side table beeped and there was a message from Cochrane for Sair and Sal.

Please do not read this until such time as you need to finalize plans for Kel’s Remembrance. it began. I am offering to alter our planned course and take the Manhattan directly to the Songz-Manhattan system. I know your culture has a specific ritual for scattering ashes, but since we cannot do that at this time, we can place those in a torpedo casing and send Kel to be a part of the celestial system named for her and your family. I also extend an open invitation to any of you to speak with me at any time if I can be of any kind of support or comfort to any or all of you. Please know that the entire crew of the Manhattan shares your grief at this time. All of you are, and always will be, part of our family. It was signed simply ‘Alex’.

Cochrane, CO

Ben looked at Sair sympathetically. He had heard the conversation between the family and Koro as he had been checking over the protocols and documentation, as well as scans of Kel. It was beyond all reasonable doubt that Kel’s health was rapidly deteriorating, and clear that it was terminal. Ben was convinced that this was the right thing to do, for Kel and for the family.

“You did the right thing with the child,” Ben calmly stated. “He’ll be upset, but will always be glad for that last moment.”

Sair felt a rush of gratitude. There was no one right way to do this, but as a mother who was also a mental health professional she couldn’t help but second-guess herself at a time like this. “Thank you,” she said sincerely.

“I’ve checked over everything, and agree that we should proceed.” he said, not sure if they were the right words to use.

Lt. Hudson
Chief Medical Officer

She drew in a deep breath and nodded. “She’s ready too.” Sair gestured with her head for him to follow her and moved back to her mother’s bed.

Ben followed Sair across to the biobed, keeping a pace behind and letting her lead.

Sair took her mother’s hand (her father held the other). “You know how this goes. Dr. Hudson will be with us as our witness and agrees with the assessment that this is the time. I’ll administer the sedative and then once you’re fully under, I’ll give you the barbiturate. It will stop your heart and lungs and it will only be a few minutes before I will declare time of death. Ben will confirm. Do you fully understand this process and agree to it?”

The doctor gave a gentle, reassuring nod to Kel. He wanted her to know that he was supportive of their wishes, but at the same time didn’t want to intrude.

Kel removed the breathing mask and nodded. “Yes, this is… what I want.”

“Okay,” Sair said in a small voice but there was a thread of pride there. It wasn’t that she was ready for her mother to be gone from her life, but Kel was dying as she lived: confident and with full knowing. She looked over at Sal. “Any questions before we proceed?”

Sal gave his daughter a soft smile. “No, my dear daughter. Your mother and I have discussed this on many occasions recently. We’re in agreement that she should not suffer any longer than she needs to. And we’ve said everything we need to already.”

Sair looked at her mother and brought her hand to her lips. “I love you. Thank you, for everything.”

Through the pain-killer induced haze and difficulty breathing, Kel smiled. “I love… you too. And I am… so proud of you. I understand… now why you are here. You and Koro will do… great things.”

Sair beamed through some tears and then reached for the first hypo. She checked the medication and dosage and then reached over, pressing it to Kel’s neck. “May you find the rest you need, Kel Songz. We will always remember you.” A hiss followed and Kel’s eyes slipped closed. Sal set his wife’s hand down and moved around the biobed to stand with Sair. He reached for Kel’s hand and wrapped his other arm around Sair. “It’s not just you. We’re here together.”

“Sura…” She could do this but it was so hard. It was right that it was her and not some stranger, but…

Sal kissed her check. “I know. It’s okay, Love. When you’re ready.”

Sair closed her eyes a moment and took several deep breaths. Opening her eyes she reached over and set the hypo down, grabbing the second one. “Administering the barbiturate now,” she said, looking over at Ben.

Once again, Ben nodded, this time at Sair. “Understood.” he said, slightly clinically to provide a professional reassurance to Sair that this was the right thing to do.

The medication flowed through Kel’s body and it took very little time before her lungs stopped drawing in air. Her heart stopped a few moments later, creating an alarm. Sair reached over and pressed a button to silence it. They stood there in silence and a few minutes later the readouts showed a lack of neural readings. “Time of death 0234 hours. Do you concur Doctor Hudson?” Sair asked, finding comfort in the protocols.

Ben took a quick look at the readings that were coming in from the biobed on his PaDD, and concurred with the assessment. “Time of death confirmed as o-two thirty four,” he replied, making a note.

She leaned over and kissed her mother’s forehead. “Goodbye.”

Sair stepped back and let her father have a moment. His was brief- whispered words and a kiss on the lips before he too stepped back. This was not their Kel anymore and that was okay.

Sair was strangely calm, even if there were traces of tears in the corner of her eyes. “We cremate our dead, so if it’s okay with you, I’ll leave those arrangements with you while we handle the rest?” She felt she had taken on enough already.

~Sair Songz, CNS

“Of course,” Ben said, with a sympathetic look at the family. It was never easy losing a loved one, and he could only imagine how hard it had been Sair. “We’ll handle the arrangements once you have made your way back to your quarters,” he said, keen not to make Sair feel rushed.

Lt. Hudson
Chief Medical Officer

Sair nodded, her mind decidedly blank just now, a mixture of grief and fatigue that was accelerated by the late hour.

“We appreciate all your support,” Sal said with a weak but sincere smile. “Everyone has helped us take care of Kel in their own way and made it as easy as it could be given the circumstances.”

Meanwhile, Sair looked at her mother lying there looking peaceful as if she were asleep and would just wake up again. She was glad Koro didn’t see her this way. It would be too confusing and she had worried he’d then not want to sleep himself. She drew the blanket up over her mother’s head and completed an action she had done many, many times. This was a day she had always known would come, partly given her people’s issues, but also because her and Kel had worked together in the health professions for many years. They just understood this process better than most.

“I should get back to Koro and relieve Shedda. Did you want to come back with me?” Sair asked her father.

Sal reached over and rested his hand on his daughter’s cheek. “No, I’ll let you have time with Koro and get some sleep. I’m going to send off some messages to people back on Kobliad and then try to get some rest myself. I promise I’ll be okay. Reality might be different later, but right now it’s okay.”

“All right,” Sair said, leaning in and kissing her father’s cheek. She stepped away and reached out as she got to Ben. “Thank you, Ben,” she said softly.

She left Sickbay, heading back to her quarters.

Sal stayed only another minute before he too bid goodnight to Hudson. He had been honest earlier: he and Kel had said everything they needed to. Not just tonight, or since he arrived on the Manhattan, but also back on Kobliad before Kel had left to bring Koro to Sair. He had known then that there had been a chance that something in her heaath would change and he might not get to be there. They had discussed that possibility and how to handle it, making sure they were both at ease with however things unfolded. Kobliads, even creative and whimsical ones like Sal, were still a practical people.

~The Songz family