Posted by Commander Shedda Mal’athar (Executive Officer) in Sickbay- Letting Go

Posted by Civilian Sair Songz (Counselor) in Sickbay- Letting Go

Posted by Commander Shedda Mal’athar (Executive Officer) in Sickbay- Letting Go
Posted by… suppressed (16) by the Post Ghost! 👻
A Kobliad male appeared in Sickbay with a Kobliad female in his arms. One of the nurses, Syeda Castillo, recognized Sair’s mother, Kel, from the time Kel had helped out Sair during the strange aging thing. She rushed over to help them get to a biobed.

“Sair is on her way,” Sal said and the nurse nodded. She had given the counsellor her deuridium injections a couple of times and while she wasn’t going to get in the way, she also knew just enough that she should stay close.

Sair appeared, rushing in with a bag. She said very little as she adjusted the biobed monitors and then pulled out items from the bag. The first was the soft thick blanket that her mother preferred and she draped it gently. She took Kel’s hand. “Hey, we have you, okay?” she said with all the certainty she truly felt.

“She’s right,” Sal said, taking her other hand.

Kel nodded, even as she struggled to take in fuller breaths.

Sair’s eyes flicked to the readouts and she had been correct: her mother’s neurological responses were deteriorating rather quickly. It meant that her brain was having a hard time controlling her body and everything would begin to shut down. “You let me know what you feel you need.”

“I will. Not yet. But I am in some pain,” Kel said.

“I can give you something for that.” Sair moved over to grab a hypospray.

~Sair Songz, CNS

The doors to Sickbay slid open and Coxhrane walked in. He looked at the assembled Songz family and then quietly took a seat on the other side of the room.

Cochrane, CO

Sair acknowledged Alex with a nod and then administered a strong painkiller. There was no point in going in softly. After a few moments, Kel was able to draw in a bigger breath, even if it still seemed strained.

Ben stepped from around the corner, having heard Kel and Sal enter the sickbay. He kept quietly to one side of the, tapping in a few commands into a console. A holographic privacy screen quietly materialised, affording the family a bit of privacy should anyone else come into the recovery ward. Ben knew that this wasn’t something that Kel would recover from, but it was the most appropriate part of sickbay to use.

He caught Sair’s eye long enough to let her know that if there was anything she needed, he was there to help.

Lt. Hudson
Chief Medical Officer

She nodded at him and then went back to looking over the readings. After a few moments, Sair grabbed a blanket from the warmer and draped it over her mother. “Rest if you can,” she said softly.

Cochrane walked over to the CMO and said softly “How long do you think it will be, Doctor? I want to make sure we have everything prepared for the Songzs so that the… transition… will be as smooth as possible for them.”

Cochrane, CO

Sair stepped away and over to Alex and waved Ben over.

“So, as I suspected, she’s started to go through organ failure. On Kobliad, we have protocols for how we handle this final stage, and one thing is that long before we get to this point, the patient sets out their medical directives. I just want to make sure that we’re all good here, because for Kobliads this final stage is always very painful and denies people dignity. Long ago we made sure that we did everything we could to help people maintain that dignity and have a death that was in some way in their control. So, as many people write down in a legal fashion, my mother has been very specific about which point she wishes her doctor, me in this case, to let her go. We usually use a strong barbiturate that completes the organ shut down while she’s sedated. She will feel nothing of it. We’re not quite there yet, but probably sometime in the next twelve hours or so. And legally we need another doctor as witness.” She did not plan on debating or arguing this path, but she wanted to make sure they understood what was going on so it didn’t become a big deal at that time.

~Sair Songz, CNS

Ben nodded. He was familiar with the early 21st Century debates about whether euthanasia was compatible with the Hippocratic oath; and indeed, the debates hadn’t stopped there, with different professionals’ beliefs and cultures all having a say. Ben, however, he disliked the thought of someone who was clearly terminally ill having to endure inhumane suffering against their wishes.

“Of course, Sair.” he said, sympathetically. “If I can take a look over your mother’s wishes, as well as the latest scans, I will be the witness.”

Lt. Hudson
Chief Medical Officer

“Thank you,” she said softly and Sair went and grabbed a PADD, uploading three sets of scans, plus Kel’s medical directive. She returned and handed the PADD to Ben Her mother’s boarding scans, ones from a week ago, and the ones she just took. It showed a steady progression of the deuridium treatments inability to maintain Kel’s cell structures. Her current readings showed low grade fever, tachycardia, and tachypnea, with the breathing problems being the trigger for her to come to Sickbay. Her ABG (arterial blood gas) was sitting currently at 62. (close to needing supplemental air). Her directive stated she would accept oxygen, but not if she was not cognizant. She was very clear that she wanted to be conscious and fully aware when the final decision was made. She had also told Dr. Winters (and it was noted) that if she was not able to make the decision herself that Sair was her medical proxy.

“It was likely that this was not the first signs of her current symptoms and her lungs will fail first. Based on the many cases I’ve seen, as soon as we give supplemental air, we don’t want to go more than a couple hours before acting. The pain gets pretty bad after that.” Sair spoke softly, though there was a professional poise present. After all, this was all too familiar territory for her. She had been through this process with hundreds of patients. The only difference this time was that this was a family member. Some might think that changed the scenario, and it did in some areas, but there had never once been a patient death that didn’t affect her. The ones that were easier were actually ones like this where they could make it as peaceful as possible. The ones that had ripped her apart were too awful to speak of. She did not want that for Kel Songz. “If you would like to speak to her about it, you can. She’s able to talk. Just quite tired, and I’ve administered 15 mg of triptacederine for her pain, so it’ll take a few minutes for that to fully kick in.”

~Sair Songz, CNS

Cochrane looked at Said and said “I will be back in a few minutes.” and he walked out of Sickbay.

It was several minutes later when Cochrane returned. In his hand he held a fist-sized octagonal crystal on a dark metal base. He walked to Sair and said “Here. I thought your mother might like this.” and he held out the crystal and touched the base. Three stars… two white and one blue… floated in a celestial ballet in the holo he held in his hand. The white stars were similar in size, with the blue one being slightly larger. The white ones were orbiting the blue one, and rivers of stellar energy and bits of star debris spiraled around them all, wrapping them in blue-white ribbons that filled the empty space around them with light, light that seemed to flow away from the three stars in one direction on the far side of the image where the black hole absorbed it. The image even showed the black hole in all of it’s glorious fury… the Songz-Manhattan System.

Cochrane, CO

“Oh,” Sair whispered, entranced. That late night on the bridge after their dinner sprang to mind, and that beautiful moment with her mother and son as they all witnessed the extraordinary event with the crew was right there in front of her. She gave Alex a soft smile. “Thank you, I think she will too.”

Sair brought over the crystal and set it on an overbed table and slid it to the side so it was in view for Kel. She didn’t want the table in the way of caring for her mother, but it still needed to be in clear sight so Kel didn’t need to move her head too much. Her father smiled. “And there is that beautiful view.”

“A beautiful view that we now have beautiful music for,” Sair said.

~Sair Songz, CNS

Cochrane held his hands behind his back and moved over to Hudson and leaned in. “Doctor, I believe now would a good time to excuse any non-essential personnel. Privacy field or no, I believe the Songzs are entitled to the fewest eyes possible.” He then looked at the family and exhaled a slow breath. “No matter the cause or the prior knowledge… it is never easier.” He softly cleared his throat and blinked a few times to clear his eyes and then he simply nodded once at the CMO and turned and walked out of room, obviously considering himself one the ‘non-essential personnel’.

Cochrane, CO

Ben nodded to the CO as he walked out of sickbay. The room was already clear of everyone else, aside from Kel and her family. “I don’t think it’s necessary for me to speak to Kel,” Ben said, responding to Said’s previous question, “but if you think she would benefit from talking to a Doctor who isn’t close family, I am more than willing.”

Lt. Hudson
Chief Medical Officer

Sair shook her head. “My mother has been a nurse all her life. She knows about all this even better than I do to a degree. You said, you’d support our process, and I believe you.” It was more that she wanted to make sure that any ethical concerns were handled before they became an issue.

She tapped her commbadge. =/\=Songz to Mal’athar. Could you bring Koro to Sickbay, please?=/\= It was getting close to his bedtime, but tonight was going to be messy and it was what it was. No matter abut her own feelings, it was important that Koro have this opportunity, that her mother had it as well.

~Sair Songz, CNS

=/\=Of course. We will be right there.=/\= She said lightly. Shedda collected their plates. “Well guess it’s time to go, kiddo.” She returned their tray and then took his hand.

A few minutes later they walked into sickbay. Shedda looked around for Sair and then pointed them out to Koro.

Cmdr. Mal’athar, XO

Koro ran over and was scooped up by Sal, who set the boy on his hip, speaking softly.

Sair stepped over to Shedda, briefly glancing back at her family. “We wanted to make sure he got to talk with her while she was still able to. Once I have to give her the stronger painkillers it’ll be hard.” She drew in a shaky breath, steadying herself. “I don’t know if he should stay or if you should take him for the night. I don’t know what to do, what the right thing is. It’s important that he understand that death is a normal thing, but it’s his mirane. They are so close and I don’t want to traumatize him but I don’t want him to be upset in later years that he didn’t get this chance.” She shook her head and waved her hand. “I’m sorry. I’m rambling.”

~Sair Songz, CNS

Shedda hugged the other woman. “No you aren’t. There are just a lot of decisions to be made. You’re a good mother, Sair, trust your heart. If you need me to watch him tonight, I will. Or anything else you need.” She hugged her again. “I’m just a comm away if you need anything.”

Cmdr. Mal’athar, XO

Sair hugged back tightly as she fought back tears, pushing it all down. Now was not the time to let things to the surface. Everyone needed her right now. Pulling back, Sair nodded. “Can you stay for a little bit? I want to gauge how Koro is doing and if I think he needs to go, I’ll have him go leave with you and he can go home to bed. But I just don’t know yet.”

~Sair Songz, CNS

“Of course. I’ll wait out here.” Yes people needed her, but Sair needed to let herself need others. Shedda was more than willing to stay if Sair needed her to do so.

Cmdr. Mal’athar, XO

Sair gave a fervent nod. “Thank you,” she said, before stepping back over to her family, giving Koro a soft smile. He was sitting on the edge of the bed, supported by Sal, and with Kel holding his little hand in hers. Sair sat behind Koro on the side of the bed, resting a hand on her mother’s legs. Her eyes skimmed the readings and she gazed at Kel long enough to suss out where she was at.

“We were just talking about one of the old traditions,” Sal said, his voice soft and calm. He seemed so steady and yet she knew her father well enough to know that he was struggling as well, even if it seemed less.

“Did you know about the kupas?” Koro said, turning to look at her.

Sair smiled at the reference to the trek families did to spread their loved one’s ashes in special places. There were these small creatures that would come out in the wooded areas of their home region and seem to bear witness to the rite. It was like they knew because they never showed up in groups any other time. “I did. It’s a pretty special thing that used to happen. But I like to think we can create our own special moments at anytime, don’t you?”

Koro smiled ever so slightly and nodded. He looked back and forth between Sair and Kel, his face slipping into a frown. But he never said the words that seemed to sit on his lips.

Kel squeezed his hand. “It’s okay Koro. I know things have been confusing lately and you know I’ve not been well. If you have questions, you can ask them.”
“Really?”
“Absolutely,” Sair said.

Koro thought for a few moments and looked at Kel. “You’re not going to get better?”
Kel drew in a shaky breath and shook her head. “No, sweetheart, I’m not. You see, you know I’ve been unwell for awhile now, and my body is very tired.” She looked at Sair, her eyes saying everything.

Sair ran a hand over her son’s hair. “Koro, Mirane’s body is shutting down. The different organs that make everything work can no longer do their jobs. And we can’t live without these organs working.”

“Will it hurt?” he whispered.

The trio of adults didn’t dare look at each other. Sair was not going to lie to her son, but at the same time she was all to aware that he would have other people he loved go through this process. He would not. At least, not like this. “It can, but I’m going to give Mirane some medicine so she won’t hurt and after awhile it will make her very sleepy and she won’t feel any of it.”

Koro burst into tears. “I don’t want you to go!”

Kel tried to pull him towards her, but she was too weak, so Sal (eyes welling with tears) shifted Koro forward into Kel’s arms and Koro curled up with her. “I know,” she whispered. “I don’t want to go either, but you know what makes me smile? You, and your mother and Surane. I am so happy that we all got to be together, and you being here right now makes it hurt a little less pico. And it’s okay to be sad. It’s also okay to be happy at times too. There are no rules.”

Koro snuggled in closer, whimpered cries muffled by her body.

Sal moved over to Sair and wrapped an arm around her, holding her against his body. “And I am glad we got to have such a special evening. It will be a memory we will always have.”

They stayed that way for another ten minutes, but a beep on the monitor drew Sair’s attention and she watched her mother wince in pain. They gazed at each other for a few moments before Kel nodded.

Sair moved to stoop at the bed near Koro. “Sweetheart, I need to give Mirane her medicine now and she will be too sleepy to talk or anything. Now, if you want to stay, you can, but it’s also okay if you want to go back to our quarters and sleep in your own bed. Shedda said she’d stay with you if you did.”

Koro sat up and frowned, looking at all the adults. After a moment he turned and leaned over, kissing Kel on the cheek. “Good night, Mirane. I love you.”

“I love you do my darling. Never forget that.” She moved her hand over and squeezed his before Sair picked him up and carried him over to the waiting area where Shedda was. It was long past Koro’s bedtime and he was rather drowsy himself, all but falling asleep over her shoulder. “We gave him the choice to stay or not but Koro wants to sleep in his own bed, and Mirane needs to sleep now as well.”

~The Songz Family

Shedda walked over and carefully and easily transferred Koro into her arms and let him lay against her shoulder. She squeezed Sair’s shoulder, offering what little comfort she could. She didn’t leave until Sair was ready for her to take Koro. Then she walked out of sickbay with the sleepy child. “Come on Koro, I’ll stay with you, and I’ll even sing you a song my father used to sing to me.” Shedda didn’t sing often. Usually only alone. It was one of those things that Orions excelled at, so she avoided it. Their voices were naturally and excessively pleasing. Her father had been known on Orion for his voice, and Shedda had inherited that ‘gift’ from him. However, considering the circumstances and it was Koro, she could do that for him. As she carried him through the corridors she softly sang the lullabies her father used to sing to her.

Cmdr. Mal’athar, XO

Sair stood there for a moment before returning to her parents. She gave her mother another dose of painkiller and sat down next to her. The trio talked for awhile longer before it was obvious it was time.

She moved across Sickbay and found Hudson. “It’s time. I just need you to witness everything and later in the report confirm all the protocols were followed.”

~Sair Songz, CNS