For many of you this is not news, but to those who have not heard yet our beloved captain Jeremy “Ox” DeSpain has sadly passed away. Jeremy was battling cancer for many years and he finally lost his battle. I know for many of us, Jeremy was a dear friend and we are all going to miss him greatly. I have asked one of our fellow crew members, and a close friend to Jeremy, Kate O’Neill to write something up for us. I am going to share her thoughts for you, and anyone else who wishes to add something you can feel free to do so here if you wish.

ParadoxicalOxical11/08/2016
??
Capt Kate “Collie” O’Neill11/08/2016
sorry
wrong fox I think :smiley:
ParadoxicalOxical11/08/2016
No Problem
Me OX, Sam Fox
Capt Kate “Collie” O’Neill11/08/2016
ha because you are OX
ParadoxicalOxical11/08/2016
chews grass
Capt Kate “Collie” O’Neill11/08/2016
damn teachers
you would think we could read for comprehension.
:smiley:
ParadoxicalOxical11/08/2016
It is the F at the beginning
You see F OX in all Capitals
Capt Kate “Collie” O’Neill11/08/2016
You are being too nice to the blonde :smiley:
ParadoxicalOxical11/08/2016
Heh…I am nice to most people till I have a reason not to be.

As with most of you, in my early days at STF, this was my first conversation with OX. Again as with most of you, I did not know who the hell I was talking to at first with all your daily names changes but on Nov. 8th I found a friend where I didn’t expect one.

We all have our special memories of him but I wanted to take a few minutes and say what Jeremy “Ox” DeSpain taught me.

After leading the great cadet revolt of 2016, this is my personal opinion of course, Ox realized someone needed to keep an eye on me. So I spent most Fridays with Ox for the two years I knew him. My routine was simple. Get coffee. Say hello to STF. Get more coffee and PM Ox. See how he felt (of course get more coffee) and then move from there. In the early months of my life at STF I posted almost exclusively with him. Ox taught me the art of the posting frenzy. He hated the three sentence thing. He often complained that people shouldn’t bother to give him one or two sentences of dialogue filled with a few fluffy words. Ox like paragraphs. Happy paragraphs. Sad Paragraphs. Things that make you go hmmm Paragraphs. Just paragraphs. Those that had the honor of posting with him knew he never wrote anything that was less than ten sentences. When I told him I was struggling one day his advice to me was simple about posting. #1. Give your partner an emotion to feel and dialogue to react to. #2. If you can only post one sentence and something lame like “walked to the turbo door” then don’t bother. #3. Be creative and surprise your partner. I took this advice and ran with it. Now in order to frenzy when you write two paragraphs he taught me the art of ship hopping. Now this is not pulling your characters but swapping posts. So as I wrote War on Peace with Jessica and Gunny on the Outpost, he wrote Lord of the Rings on the Asimov with Paris and Tavmeer. Then we swapped not only posts but ships. So when you see me do this you know who to blame. Our dear lovable Ox.

Other than writing another of Ox’s great love was Karaoke. He and I spent many Friday and Saturday evenings creating song lists for when he went out with his human friends. Not to be ignored of course I created something to participate in the thing he loved. Lunch Karaoke: Kate’s car edition. I would use my phone to voice transcribe the song on the radio and he would guess it. As many of you know....voice transcribing with me can be game all of its own. My favorite memory to share and what I refer to as “our song” is Hungry Like a Wolf. It came on. I sang it not ever looking at what i send him and at the first stoplight this was the response I saw from him.

Capt Kate “Collie” O’Neill10/25/2017
Burn in the ground I break from the crowd I’m on the hunt I’m after you I smell like I sound I’m lost and I’m down and I’m hungry like the wolf it’s trouble on the line it’s just go and ride I’m on the hunt time after you… mouse like vagine… juices like wine and I’m.... Well what is it?

ParadoxicalOxical10/25/2017
Um Kate....you were not singing with the windows down were you.

If you were truly in Ox’s circle when you did something amazing he would give you kudos; however if you were a knucklehead he would tell you just as fast that you were a dumb arse. That is how you knew he liked you As with his first conversation to me…he was nice until he didn’t have a reason to be. Ox did not point out your flaws to belittle or embarrass you. He did it because he saw a better you. Ox did not let club opinion sway him. He would ban you from command as fast as support your bid for a captain’s position. His honor and integrity could not be called into question because he always tried to do what was right regardless of whether or not it was a popular opinion. That is why we respected him so. Ox always tried to do what was right and in my eyes he succeeded far more times than I think he gave himself credit for.

Whoever named him as the Ox knew him perfectly. Ox is a beast of burden and he carried all our burdens without complaint or protest. He rarely asked for help. Instead he pushed past all the trials in his life to make sure you were cared for in your own struggles. I am not sure how much anyone knows this but when he was first diagnosed with cancer he needed surgery. They told him he could not use his arm for six weeks after the surgery. Ox was not happy being away that long from the site so he and I came up with a plan. After his first surgery in May/June of 2017 his arm left him unable to post yet he still tried to do what he loved. So he hunted and pecked and voice transcribed his posts (see I Do Not Know Lyrics to Songs to understand how effective that was). He became frustrated fast not wanting to put up misspelled or badly punctuated posts so he would send me the post in PM and I was read and edit it. Then I sent it back to him and he submitted it for the site. I don’t think people knew but he lost 50% use of his arm after that surgery. By the end of this summer he had lost 80% use of his arm. One of the tumors he had surgery on affected his temporal lobe which deals with writing and processing language so writing became harder and harder. He had fractures in both his hips and needed a full hip replacement of both hips in order to walk. Please do not think I am ending this dour. It ends happy I promise. Ox called me his Perpetual Fountain of Sunshine or his cheerleader. At times he would ask me how I found my positive outlook. I don’t think I told him I drew it often from him but that is where I did. Ox always thought of others. He listened. He cared. He made me a better person simply because he was in my world as he did with so many of you. He believed in us and always made us think he was as strong as an Ox.

Now that he is gone I would like to think we can all take the parts of him that were amazing and try to make the world a better place. That way he lives on and in this planetary haystack of seven billion straws, his spirit will continue to touch the world through us…his friends.

I know we can all thank Kate for those words, and our hearts go out to his family as they deal with this tragedy. For right now sims will be on hold, but lets all just sit back and remember the man who was not only our Captain, but our friend.

~Steven Sigle, aCO