Posted by Civilian Revna Freya McKenzie (Diplomatic Attache) in Deck 4 Garden- It’s Who you Know

Posted by Lieutenant Commander Faye Calloway (Counter-Intelligence Officer) in Deck 4 Garden- It’s Who you Know

Posted by Civilian Revna Freya McKenzie (Diplomatic Attache) in Deck 4 Garden- It’s Who you Know

(snip)

“There is no magic phrase that will reassure you. But command training is meant to help you figure that out. It’s not just learning to make those hard decisions, but to evaluate you to see if you can do it. Cochrane may be your mentor, and will have a heavy vote in your passing but in the end your tests and performance will be evaluated by a team at Star Fleet Academy. And one of those tests will be a psychological evaluation. This time, while in the program is your chance to really see if you can do it, for yourself. To take those risks and see how you handle it. What does your Daggum think about this? You doing command training and your concerns about it?”

Revna McKenzie

Faye smiled warmly, but it was a smaller smile. “Dag is my champion. And he’s also a realist. I don’t think he’d support the decision if her felt it was truly wrong for me. But these fears are new ones, I guess, or ones I haven’t really begun to voice. Not to Alex, not to Dag. I guess I got a little freaked out when someone I thought was a friend questioned whether Alex was pushing me into it. As if anyone could force me to if I didn’t want to,” she said with a laugh. “And I addressed the concern, but I guess there’s this tiny lingering doubt I can’t shake,” she said, gazing out across the path to a beautiful rose shrub. She could feel the emotion twisting her stomach. Faye the rebel. Faye the Masquis. There were parts of her that were still those people, who used those skills and knowledge to her advantage. But so much had happened in the last few months that when she well and truly stopped to consider it all, she got overwhelmed. It was a lot to process and a part of her still hadn’t gotten through it all.

~Faye Calloway

“It’s hard when someone, a close friend, turns out to not know us as well as we think they do. It makes us wonder if we really know ourselves. But no one knows you better than you. Oh there are times when we are unsure and we have doubt, but we still know ourselves best because we are the only one inside our heads. I’m not going to tell you to prove her wrong or Daggum and Cochrane right. Prove to yourself that you are right. Whether you complete the command training or not, pass or not, prove to yourself that you are right for taking a chance to give your life new direction. If that is command, do it, but if it turns out to be something else, do that. Because if you don’t make the attempt, you already know what the answer will be.” And of course that was why Revna was on Manhattan. To prove she was right for taking a chance, to find a new path for her life, whether it worked out or not.

Revna McKenzie

Faye turned to gaze at Revna. “I haven’t had a goal outside of ‘don’t get killed’ or ‘don’t get kicked out of Starfleet’ for a really long time now. Before I joined Starfleet I escaped a really difficult situation and was at loose ends. I made my way through the galaxy, wandering, trying to stay alive, and it wasn’t enough. Eventually, a great freighter captain I had did the kindest thing and kicked me off his ship so that I could follow my dream of doing something big. Because I told him about my childhood mentor who was the first to recognize that my mind wasn’t like the other kids’ and that it operated on a different level. That I need more. And I had Starfleet and the Daystrom Institute and places like that as possibilities. She told me that any one of them would likely welcome me with open arms. And later after the Maquis were killed off and I was hiding who I had been, I thought there’s no way I could do any of those things again. But though I never told him about being Maquis, this captain seemed to understand. And so he got me a job on a friend’s ship where I could start again but as Faye, rather than some made up person.”

Turning more fully to face Revna, Faye propped her foot on the bench and draped an arm across, her grey-green eyes intense. “When Alex told me about this vision in his head of Captain Faye Calloway, it resonated with me deeply, in a way I’m not sure I explain. I feel like I’m drawn in that direction, that everything I’ve gone through has been to prepare for this next step. I don’t know if it’s my life purpose or what not, but I feel once again like I was as a kid with T’Lora, where everything feels possible. And for the first time in years I’m in a position to say yes to good stuff in my life and I don’t intend to let the opportunity pass me by,”

~Faye Calloway