Posted by James Sinclair in Event Horizon- Amongst the Stars

Posted by Lieutenant Faye Calloway (Mission Specialist) in Event Horizon- Amongst the Stars

(snip)

Faye nodded and drained the rest of her unique mineral water. “It’s okay, we can talk about it,” she said softly, though she ate her last piece of orange and finished swallowing before she continued. “Luke, first off… he’s moved on to another assignment, and while we never got to sort things out between us properly, I’m… okay with that. You help,” she said with a warm smile.

When she continued, her eyes shifted, and though they were distant, she was still present. It was more like she was working through a puzzle. Finally she shook her head. “When he first came aboard, he discovered that I had my lab and it was locked… for reasons obvious to those in the know. But he couldn’t stand that, Dag. Oh my God the very fact that I had stuff going on that no one decided he got to know?” She chuckled. ” He kicked my lab door! He wanted in and couldn’t get in. And I very calmly came to the door and explained who I was and that my work was restricted knowledge and he wasn’t on the list and he could take it up with the captain if he wanted. And that was how we met.” Of course there was more, but Dag understood her well enough that no only did she would suffer no fools, but that antagonism was the old usual. She had left that behind when she had arrive don the Manhattan.

“We had other interactions and they were… mixed. It wasn’t that we hated each other or anything but we rubbed each other the wrong way while at the same time there were… moments.” Faye sighed and looked up at Daggum. “How much do you actually want to know?” She didn’t want to hurt him after all, but Luke was complex and at the end of the day had been one of her symptoms and triggers.

~Faye Calloway

Dag smiled and took her hand and poured some water in the glass. “Leave a little in it. And we have four minutes. And I want to know everything about it. I think we both know that neither if us is going to be either one’s first… when we decide to take that step. I’m a big boy, Faye. And I’m Orion. I can handle sex talk.” and he squeezed her hand. “You know a bit about the woman I spent time with on the Athena, and I’ll tell you anything yiu want to know. But I think this Luke guy was an event for you. Not the sex… I mean if it was kudos… but I think, after hearing you talk about… I think that experience shifted something significant in you… for the better. So I want to know all about it. Whatever you feel comfortable telling me, that is.”

Daggum

Squeezing his hand, Faye took a moment to sip heavily from the water. “I can tell you anything,” she said matter-of-factly. And it was true! She had known it that first call when his appearance simply burst open the well and she had laid it all out for him to see. And Daggum had held all those intense emotions so carefully. Faye trusted him without a doubt. So, one hand on her water glass and the other hand in Dag’s Faye let herself delve deeply.

“Okay, so, Luke is a piece of a mish-mash of things. He wasn’t a singular event, though I think what happened between us tipped me over the edge,” she said slowly and carefully, measuring her words to make sure she was being as honest with herself as she was with him. “Everything with Mr. Fake Handler and the brig just brought up all the old stuff from not just the Romulans but that sense of being trapped and someone controlling my life that I felt the entire time I was with Kodell. But no one knew about Kodell, not… really. I had mentioned being a slave in passing but I couldn’t touch those experiences. I think I’ve known for a long time that I wasn’t ready to, because to touch them would be really hard and I wasn’t strong enough emotionally yet. But this ship, Dag. Oh Gods, these people here, including you, found their way through the cracks that had formed on the Curie when I admitted being Maquis and then everything went the Hell and I found myself in San Francisco in an inpatient centre.

Another sip of water. “Like back then, I spiralled. Badly. That first conversation of ours was so wonderful, but at the same time I knew you had feelings for me, and mine were inaccessible. Everything was such a jumble in my head and I… turned to whiskey. My longtime foe. Luke showed up to check on me after getting out of the brig and I was already very drunk. I invited him in and he drank with me while we chatted. It felt like there was equilibrium between us. Because there had been this moment in the brig that I couldn’t explain. Attraction, yes, but something else. So… very, very drunk, I made a move. And he almost took me up on it. Dag, for me sex has been an escape. It’s something physical that distracts me from other things. Not always, but often. A momentary safe haven. And there’s nothing wrong with that… unless you have BPD and are prone to risky behaviour. Then, if I don’t check myself, I can be… destructive. That night, Luke turned me down and I made him leave and promptly dissociated. And I don’t know how long I stood there but afterwards I had this massive wave of pain and anxiety hit me. And I got very scared. The last time I was in that place was the same one that landed me at Santa Clara… so I stumbled my way to the counsellor’s quarters. A part of me knew I needed to be somewhere safe for my own well being, so that is where I ended up and where, after a bit of a jumbled conversation I only partly remember, I confessed all these confusing feelings for you, and Luke and…” She smirked. “Alex.” Faye shook her head. “I wanted someone to make the pain stop and Luke rejecting me under those circumstances cut deep. And so I spiralled.

Faye drank heavily from her glass, leaving only a little bit left, her other hand never leaving the safety of Daggum’s. “Cut ahead to a week out of the brig and having made it safety through not only that night but also learning about Leroy and that triggering a very painful mind dump as well as an argument with a friend, and we get to the awards ceremony. I had been feeling so terrible that to then stand with Alex in front of everyone and tell them that I had done these things to help and that I wasn’t the traitor we made them believe I was…”-she shook her head-“everything flipped Dag. Suddenly I was on this massive high and it felt soooo good after feeling sooo terrible that I wanted anything and everything to keep that feeling going. After reconciling my feelings with Alex and talking it out with him, I walked away from his ready room knowing I actually gained a friend, rather than having lost a potential relationship. I went back to the Garden and ran into Luke.” She stopped there and downed the rest of her water, letting Dag process what she had said so far.

~Faye Calloway