Posted by Lieutenant Faye Calloway (Mission Specialist) in Deck 4 Garden- Perspectives

Posted by Captain Alexander Cochrane (Commanding Officer) in Deck 4 Garden- Perspectives

Posted by Lieutenant Faye Calloway (Mission Specialist) in Deck 4 Garden- Perspectives
Posted by… suppressed (3) by the Post Ghost! 👻

(snip)

Alex looked at her and put a hand on her shoulder. “Faye… what’s wrong? What’s the matter?” he asked softly. He had seen her cry before, more than once. But this seemed different.

Cochrane

Hand rested on the side of the bed, Faye’s head bowed and the sobs intensified. She felt like she was drowning in overwhelm it wasn’t necessarily the bad kind either. “He… us…” Faye moved her hand so Alex could see the carvings more clearly. “The tunnel… is the wormhole. Even when we’re apart we’re together,” she said, sobbing harder, ugly tears running down her face.

~Faye Calloway

Alex let her cry. He stood by in silence, watching her sob and feel what she did without a filter or a tug in any direction. He looked around the room, and he could see the care that went into the design, the attention to things that Faye would appreciate. He nodded to himself as he saw the rotating shelves, the efficiency of the air movers… all done so a woman billions of miles away could grow mushrooms. And Alex smiled. Distance would be a factor, but Alex had a sneaking suspicion that the Lieutenant would be taking some of her accrued time-off at a certain station there in the Delta Quadrant. He made a mental note to look this guy up.

Cochrane

She was sobbing so hard that she struggled to catch her breath at one point and slid down sit on the floor. Then she started laughing. “Oh Gods, Alex, this is all just…” Ridiculous? Wonderful? “You know the part that’s scariest? The feeling that if something did happen between him and I ad it didn’t work out…” She shook her head. “I wouldn’t be okay. And I’m not talking the normal fallout of a relationship goes bad. And yes, as you pointed out that’s the risk.” She wiped tears from her cheeks. “I just don’t know that I could bear the idea of hurting him or destroying either of us all in the pursuit of some sort of happiness.” If there was anything she was good it was casting destruction in her wake. Hurricane Faye…

~Faye Calloway

Alex sat down on the floor across from her and leaned against the wall. “Faye… I think you can go ahead and quit saying ‘if’ something happens between you. I mean…” and he gestured all around them at the structure, “… somethings obviously happened.” and he chuckled and then sighed. “I get that you are scared… I do. But you can’t go through life trying to second guess what bad is coming. And you damn sure won’t be a good commander if you do that. You have to have faith in you and those around you that, together, you will make it through. So you have to have that faith in you and Mushroom-boy. That together you will make it through. Can’t let fear dictate your life, Faye. No matter how much of it you have.”

Alex

Wiping her nose on the sleeve of her sweater, Faye eyed him and her expression slipped into a smirk as she burst out laughing. “Mushroom Boy. Oh… I so have to call him that, just to see his expression,” she said with a hearty chuckle followed by a sigh.

“I’d be wary of the context when you bust out with that particular term of endearment.” and he gave her a smirk and a wink.

She blew out a breath. “The fear has kept me alive Alex, more times than not, and I think the murky water I’m trying to wade through right now is realizing that where I’m at in my life now is not one where every mistake is utterly devastating. Because there have been large chunks of my life where was that was true. And with everything from the past coming to the forefront right now, I’m just trying to separate out what was true then versus what is true now. If that makes any sense?”

~Faye Calloway

Alex nodded. “It does… but it’s also your armor, Faye. And where you are at now, thet armor could do more to harm you then help you. I’m not saying that you shouldn’t be scared… I’m saying don’t be scared first. Try it with him. Just him. The rest, hang on to until you can sort out what you can. But he wasn’t part of any of that… and it sounds like you already have decided what you want to do, but you just aren’t doing it because… well… that’s what your ‘fear habit’ is telling you.” and he sat forward and scooted across the floor to her and put a hand on both of her knees.

“It’s time to stop surviving, Faye… it’s time to start living.”

Cochrane