Posted by Lieutenant Commander Zef Rollo (Counselor) in Holodeck 3- A Long Way Down (and Up)

Posted by Lieutenant Commander Zef Rollo (Counselor) in Holodeck 3- A Long Way Down (and Up)

Posted by Lieutenant Commander Zef Rollo (Counselor) in Holodeck 3- A Long Way Down (and Up)
Posted by… suppressed (3) by the Post Ghost! 👻

(snip)

Shara turned and gazed at Rollo and shook her head, calling back. “Nah. Entirely holographic. Can’t hurt you.” Shifting her gaze back to her daughter, there was an expectant look on Faye’s face. “Should I tell her, or do you want to?”

As Zef approached, FayeFaye gazed downwards, her shoulders slumping forward. “I dissociated again after a particularly unpleasant interaction,” she said softly. “One minute I was in the garden, planting seedlings in my plot and the next thing I’m aware of I’m here sitting on that blanket next to Alex and my mom is playing guitar.” Such a simple statement but the despair the situation brought up in her was something she couldn’t reign in and it seemed to be seeping into everything.

“Hmm, I see. Can you tell me what caused the dissociative state? Stress, anxiety…a traumatic experience in the garden?”

The look in his eyes was seared into her brains and try as she lie, Faye couldn’t get it to go away. Even as she closed her eyes, Luke’s face was there. She had caused that pain and even if it had been necessary, she wasn’t sure it was forgivable.

Shara spoke, no doubt to give her daughter a moment to collect herself.

“In an attempt to help Faye stay here, I thought we might try something one of my therapists once got me to do.” Shara picked up a bottle by the neck. “We speak aloud the things that we fear, that make us angry, actions people have taken. Anything and everything. It doesn’t have to make sense or be rational or even real. If we feel it, then it’s real enough. When I first did it we used soft items, but I discovered that it’s much more satisfying if something breaks. Feel free to tell me this is a terrible idea, at this moment,” Shara said with a tiny lopsided smile and half-shrug.

~Faye and Shara Calloway

Zef picked up one of the bottles and felt the weight of it in her hand before setting it back down. “Far be it from me to halt any treatment that works—no matter who the exercise came from.”

She looked back at Faye. “Do you want to take a walk and talk about it?”

—Rollo, CNS

Opening her eyes, Faye turned her eyes to the ocean, watching it ebb and flow. Lifting her right foot to her left knee, balancing strongly, she undid the laces of her workboot and tossed it and the sock onto the sand. Repeating it with her other foot, Faye wiggled her toes into the sand, grounding herself in that sensation. As much as she wanted to run away and hide, she had just come to realize that there was no where left to run to. No where to hide. “Want to? No. Need to? I think we both know the answer to that,” Faye said before gesturing to the water and slowly walking towards it.

Zef looked at Shara and gave her a tiny nod. Faye needed to talk about what happened and the nod was Zef’s way of letting the Cmdr know she would take good care of her daughter.

“I’ll be here,” Shara said. While she had no doubt Rollo had things well under control, Shara wanted to broach the idea of hers and now was as good a time as any. Besides, sometimes it helped just having people who cared about you around, even if they were just there in the background.

Standing at the clear line where the water was currently reaching, the tide slowly going out, Faye let it very briefly touch her big toes. She felt on the precipice of something massive. What that was though still alluded her.

~Faye Calloway

Kicking off her own shoes, she joined Faye at the water’s edge. “Left or right?” Even tiny decisions that had nothing to do with work, were important for Faye at this stage.

—Rollo, CNS

Shara took the guitar once again and settled on the picnic blanket, quietly playing old songs from another life and time. She let herself drift into them- her own form of meditation.

~Shara Calloway