Posted by Lieutenant Faye Calloway (Mission Specialist) in Captain’s Quarters- If You Can’t Stand the Heat

Posted by Captain Alexander Cochrane (Commanding Officer) in Captain’s Quarters- If You Can’t Stand the Heat

Posted by Lieutenant Faye Calloway (Mission Specialist) in Captain’s Quarters- If You Can’t Stand the Heat

(snip)

Oh, so many things, so many tiny threads of things that would need to be contemplated later. For sure she was going to replay this conversation over a few times to make sure she understood what he was saying but there were a few pressing things to attend to first. Namely, her friend. Faye offered Alex a small smile, and she didn’t blow up or get angry or storm off. None of that. Instead she felt calm. “Okay, first things first,” she said as she reached out and plucked the bottle away from him, actually setting it on the floor beside her chair. “I don’t think you need anymore of that. I get that my boundaries with alcohol can be mixed, but if I’m not allowed to drown my woes in it, neither are you my friend. And you can fight me for that bottle back but I warn you I’m exceptionally scrappy and I place my odds higher than you might expect,” she said with a wink

She was quiet for a moment as she collected her thoughts together. “I… appreciate how concerned you are. I do get how odd the idea of Luke and I together is. Hell, even I thought it was crazy. It still is. But that is exactly why I’m mindful of my motivations. The upheaval I’m going through is exactly the reason I’m not throwing myself into anything right now. It’s a relationship. Hell, I wouldn’t even go quite so far as to even call it romance.” She reached her hand out and rested it on his. “I don’t think it’s going to be tonight, but at some point I’ll tell you more of my story. But the thing you do have to understand is that I have no trusted in my ability to choose things or people for myself because at one point in my life that was all taken away from me. I had no choice, except whether I lived or tried to die, and how miserable I made things for myself. And yes, I make bad choices at times, and hell, this might be one of them. But for the first time I’m not leaping in unaware. I’m not ignoring my instincts, and I’m not brushing off even my own concerns.” Faye gave a lopsided smirk. “It’s a bit of fun, not a marriage proposal. I think I’ve earned the right to have a little fun after everything. And if his feelings and wants begin to cross my boundaries, I’ve already made it very clear I will end whatever this is. I can’t control what other people do, only what I do.”

~Faye Calloway

Alex looked at her for a moment and then shook his head and drained the rest of his glass.

“You aren’t hearing me, Faye. I trust you can handle it. And I know the second he oversteps… oh, and he will… you will stop whatever it is in its tracks. Its not just you Im worried about you in this. I trust you to err on the side of caution and do what’s best for you.” He leaned back and set both hands flat on the table.

Sitting forward, arms braced on the table, she frowned. “Okay…”

“I’m worried about him, Faye. I dont trust him to do what is best for either of you if it isn’t what he wants. When he invests himself in something, it takes him over. I’ve seen that first hand. And if he hasn’t given himself over to you already, he will soon, and when he makes moves to make you two more than you want and you shut it down, that will wreck him. The man lost his wife and I’d bet my entire career on the fact he is already comparing feelings for you to feelings for her. And thats not fair to you… and really not fair to him. So is your bit of fun worth what it will do to him when its no longer just fun?”

Cochrane

His words hit hard and Faye sat back in her chair, eyes slightly wide as she tried to catch her breath. Was this one of those times where the words were to close to the truth and that was why they hurt so much? The sensation that washed over her wasn’t embarrassment. It was that warm wash of shame that settled in the pit of your stomach and made you want to curl up within yourself. Folding her arms across her chest, Faye looked away from him. She didn’t know what to say and her instinct was to call it a night, because that was the easier path. But that wasn’t fair to him. She had asked for his opinion and he gave it. She was right that she didn’t have to like it, because she sure as hell didn’t. But that wasn’t Alex’s fault.

Shaking her head slowly, she tired to push back the tears but they sat there in the corners of her eyes as a mirthless laugh erupted from her. “Always damned if I do, damned if I don’t, aren’t I? At least I’m consistent in my chaos. I have that going for me.” Reaching for her glass, she wished the stone wasn’t in there, but for that exact reason she left it in and nocked back what was in it.

~Faye Calloway

Alex smiled slightly. “No… not damned. Just learning. As all of us are, Faye. Unfortunately, some lessons are just hell to learn.” He pointed to bottle and then to the table.

“You aren’t wrong for wanting or needing… ‘quality time’… with someone, Faye. We all do from time to time, I think.”

Cochrane