Posted by Captain Alexander Cochrane (Commanding Officer) in Captain’s Quarters- If You Can’t Stand the Heat

Posted by Lieutenant Faye Calloway (Mission Specialist) in Captain’s Quarters- If You Can’t Stand the Heat

Posted by Captain Alexander Cochrane (Commanding Officer) in Captain’s Quarters- If You Can’t Stand the Heat

(snip)

Alex looked at her for a long time, but his expression didn’t harden… in fact he just smiled softly at her.

“First…’ he said softly, “… I didn’t say try harder. I said keep trying. I know you give your all to making sure you continue to work past… well… your past. And I am very, very proud of you for that. And I also know that that takes a huge amount of time. And while I don’t know all of your history, I do know you, Faye Calloway. I know what you are capable of, what you can do when you allow yourself to give yourself over entirely to something. And I know you are force to be reckoned with.” He paused and really looked at her, his blue eyes singularly fixed on hers. “I also know you hurt. A lot. And I will never minimize that. And what I am telling you is that no matter what that hurts causes… fits of anger, trouble connecting with people, dissociation, and walls ten miles thick around you… I want you to know that I know you will get to where you are at peace at some point. Because I know you want to. And I know that when Faye Calloway sets her mind to something… it happens. Period.”

Most days peace was a distant idea, something for other people. She had known it once or twice, but it had been a fleeting thing. What Alex was talking about was fore more substantial. Weighty. She wanted to believe him. Gods only knew how much she wanted to… and yet it felt like asking too much. You couldn’t demand peace be yours, could you?

He took a deep breath and then his demeanor shifted slight, became a bit more firm, and he said “And you think your life blew up less than two weeks ago? Bulls&^t, Faye. It hasn’t been less than two weeks since your life ‘blew up’. Its been less than two weeks since you finally realized you have found a group of people who actually care what happens to you. Who are willing to go to the mattresses for you with no regards for their own well being. Who will give of themselves as much as you give of yourself.” He took a step towards her and there was a slow burning fire in his eyes. “It’s been less than two weeks since you asked more of people than you have in I don’t know how long… and they gave it to you. You may have missed it, but it’s actually been less than two weeks since your life finally fell into place and you made huge strides into taking your it back, Faye. It didn’t blow up… it just started.” He reached down and picked up the glass and took a very large drink.

A sudden stillness washed over her and this time it wasn’t devoid of feeling. Rather, it was like something was settling into place, as if a giant piece clicked into place. Was it that simple? Perhaps. He was right that she had never asked anything of people she hadn’t dared, for one simple reason: she had never felt worthy enough to ask. It had seemed almost arrogant to ask for anything. After all, she was alive. But as she had realized sitting in Doctor Rinker’s office on the Atlantis, a skin and bones version of herself just wrapping her mind around the fact that she had escaped the Tal Shiar, surviving was no longer good enough. Learning what it meant to live had been the name of the game.

“Now help me move this table because I am going to flip, roll, and shake you until you realize that you get to be happy for a change, godd&^%n it. Even if it’s just long enough for a dance lesson.” and he bent down and put his hands on the side of the table and looked at her.

Cochrane

“Okay,” Faye said simply as she moved to stand beside him, rather than on the other side of the table. “But I need you stand up for a second.”

~Faye Calloway

Alex looked at her and then stood up slowly and faced her. “You get one free shot. After that, I hit back.” and he smiled and gave her a wink.

Cochrane

Faye snorted. “I’m done with the brig and inflicting that kind of trauma on myself, remember?” she said as she closed the space between them and slipped her arms around him, being the one this time to instigate the hug.

“Just keep being patient, okay?” she said softly.

Spinning on the ball of her low heeled shoes, Faye moved to the table and found a firm grip. “On your mark.”

~Faye Calloway