Posted by Commander Shara Calloway (Executive Officer) in Deck 6 - Captain’s Dining Room

Posted by Captain Sara Kiernan (Commanding Officer) in Deck 6 - Captain’s Dining Room

Posted by Commander Shara Calloway (Executive Officer) in Deck 6 - Captain’s Dining Room
Posted by… suppressed (9) by the Post Ghost! 👻

(snip)

Shara grinned and leaned forward. “You know I play the guitar and the piano, right?” she said, a glimmer in her eyes. “Hobbies are good. They ground us in the moment and take us out of the grind. Not that I am even a good example of this balance. But having that guitar here with me, I have played a few minutes most nights before bed, just to calm myself and focus on something that gives me joy.”

~Shara Calloway, XO

Sara smiled back. “I never fashioned you the artsy type. Maybe I’ll try and get myself a nice guitar. We can jam sometime.” She chuckled through her nose, lost momentarily in memory. “My dad- he couldn’t sing worth a damn. But he had this old, maybe older than him, guitar. He played lullabies to put me and my brother to sleep. When I was older he thought me to play. Can’t stray too far from your roots, right?” As much as it was a reference to her father and the instrument they shared a love for, it also meant the legacy of officers in her family.

-CO

Shara forced herself to draw in a more full breath and nodded ever so slightly. “Depends, but I guess in this case I agree. I learned to play the piano from my classically trained mother. She was a government administrator by day, and played piano for an orchestra by night. There was never a time in my childhood that theer wasn’t music. It changed after she died though. I was fourteen. That was two years before I got pregnant and ran away,” she said with a snort. I never let go of music per se, but it was hard to keep in my life until recently.”

“It’s nice you have it back. I imagine the little bit of stability that is Micah helps make it a little easier to maintain now.”

Shara nodded. “He encourages me to play. We made a pact about music after we got married. I try to fulfill it and I would say I’m mostly successful.” While she didn’t get to sing to him every day, and their last mission screwed with that promise, she was back to at least humming to him at some point during the day.

“Tell me about your dad,” she said with a smile.

~Shara Calloway, XO

Sara sighed. “When my parents met, he was a senior officer, Chief Engineer on a massive ship. Probably a candidate to be an XO soon. She was there on some assignment from the Federation Council representative she was working for. It was never really clear… but she was traveling on the same ship my dad served on. I guess both our moms were in government. My parents got married and they knew they wanted to have a family. He requested a transfer to Earth. So we’d grow up safe. He got a position at the academy teaching an entry level engineering course. My mom moved up the ranks and became a senior advisor. But it was such a demanding schedule, she was away as often as not and dad was always around. My brother and I were always closer to him. And since we both followed in his family’s footsteps and joined up, it’s kinda stuck that way.”

-CO

“I’m frankly envious,” Shara said. “Though I can imagine it was hard having your mom away so much. Ironically, Starfleet has become our family tradition though none of it was planned. My brother joined first and is a starship captain, and then of course Faye opted to join all on her own. I stayed in Starfleet because we made it back from the Delta Quadrant and Starfleet was all I had at the time. Life’s funny that way.”

“It’s funny how it becomes a tradition without the intention even being there.”

“What’s your brother up to these days?” Yes, Shara knew Sara’s file, but it was better to have natural conversations and see what was different and what might have changed. And just because Shara could pry, didn’t mean she always did.

~Shara Calloway, XO

“Jared’s a doctor, he’s on a hospital ship.” Sara chuckled. “He acts like he’s trying to move up, get into command. But he’s happy. He’s found his thing. Even when mom gets a little upset we’re both in Starfleet, neither of us would do anything different. Hardest part of it is since we’re on different assignments, I can’t really look after my little brother. They’re all pissed. About our last mission. They were told I’d committed treason and then told that was not true and I was getting a medal, but no details of the mission. And they keep asking and I can’t tell them-“ she stopped herself.

-CO

Shara nodded. “It’s so hard to keep that part of our lives concealed. Trust me, I’ve been an expert at it. In the case of our last mission, my eldest daughter Nadine is a civilian, so I can’t say anything substantial to her. But with Faye I can give a few more details than I can give most, because she has the clearance. But the aftermath was messy, for all of us. We’re still sorting it out.” Shara leaned forward. “I can only give you suggestions for how to word things to them in a way that might help, but at the end of the day, there will always be a part of our lives out here that they can never be a part of it. It’s just one of those sucky realities, but it does mean that they get to live safer lives because we make those sacrifices. At least that was how I had to look at it in order to stay sane. Or somewhat sane,” she said with a smirk.

~Shara Calloway, XO

That made Sara laugh. “How do you word it? When you have to say a whole lot of nothing.” She wondered how Shara held all those secrets, the things that she was certain were there that not even she had the clearance to know.

-CO

Shara took a deep breath. “It depends. In this case, what I told Nadine was this: We were assigned on a very important mission that we can’t talk about because it is classified. Yes, there was danger involved, and yes it was really hard at times. But we made it back safely with the knowledge that the Federation is safer because of our actions.” She shrugged. “They will either get it or not, but that’s all you can do.”

~Shara Calloway, XO

“I know I’ll never forget any of it. But I kind of wish the rest of the galaxy would. So we could… live lives.” Sara knew that was purest fantasy, but it was fantasy she held onto nonetheless. “I would never… the idea of bringing someone who isn’t already a part of this world, our world. Of spies and secrets. I’ve been thinking about family. I can’t talk to my parents honestly, I can’t talk to my brother honestly, and I wonder if that precludes… finding my own family. That I couldn’t…”

-CO

Shara drew in a deep breath. “There are reasons why many officers end up marrying other officers. They’re already in it. Add to that the nature of our work and it means it’s always going to be easier to confide in someone already in it. But that’s also limiting and a narrow way to look at it.”

She snorted and shook her head, folding her arms on the table. “Look, the man I was engaged to after I got back to the Alpha Quadrant was a civilian. And the reason we didn’t work out had nothing to do with him not existing in my professional world. Could he have been the solace I needed between missions? Perhaps. And if I had been married to him I probably wouldn’t have been a covert asset. My life would have been very different. But I also would have asked for different things from him, Sarah. Perhaps the answer isn’t so much that you need to spill every detail of what’s happened to you, but you need to be seen. The people who love us can still see is, even if they don’t have all the details. You can still share what you felt and you can still ask for support. You might just have to adjust what that support looks like, and leave the nitty-gritty details to therapy sessions with a mental health professional.”

~Shara Calloway, XO

“Our ship’s counsellor must be a busy man.” Shara’s advice made Sara smile. “The upside of being so career-oriented was always that things like this took up a minimum of space in my mind. Now I have things I have to focus on out of uniform.”

-CO

Shara chuckled. “It’s called life balance, Sara,” she teased. “It sucks doesn’t it? And I’m not going to pretend that I’m at all good at it either. But I’m leanring, and you will too.”

“Life balance? That’s news to me.” Sara laughed.

She looked at the remnants of their lunch and then studied her friend. “We should do this once a week- both for a break but also to touch base in a way that isn’t just another standard meeting with reports.”

~Shara Calloway, XO

“You’re right, we should do this more often. Consider yourself invited in for another meal in a week.” Sara thought for a second about how lucky she was to have Shara as her XO. “It’s been nice to have some company for once.

-CO