Posted by Commander Shara Calloway (Executive Officer) in From the Shadows Comes Hope

Posted by Commander Shara Calloway (Executive Officer) in From the Shadows Comes Hope

Posted by Civilian Micah Pikelsimer (Federation Security Agent) in From the Shadows Comes Hope
Posted by… suppressed (12) by the Post Ghost! 👻

(snip)

Micah stared at the table after Daggum’s ‘question’. He listened to the exchange between mother and daughter, his hands in fists in his lap. But with Faye’s last remark, he looked up and set hard eyes on her. “I think ya can climb down off your moral high-horse now.” and his eyes flicked to Daggum. “The both of ya.” He lifted his glass and took a drink, and then said “It ain’t like anyone at this table ‘cept Nadine has picked a life that allows for that kinda perspective. All ‘a us live lives of risk. Sacrifice. And each an everyone one’a us chose to do it looooong before any of us knew the others even existed.” He looked at Daggum and said “You wanna answer to your shitty little question, boy? You know the godd@÷n answer. You make the same choice e’ry time ya walk through that hatch on the Athena. It ain’t like you always know you’re comin’ back, either.” He looked at Faye. “Yeah, Blue was involved. Hell, he was focus point of all of it! He and I built the op together. An’ ya wanna know what his primary motivation to do it was? It was ‘cause those sonnavabit<hes had used you. Same for me.” He glared at her for a long moment. “You ain’t been my daughter long, Faye. Hell, maybe ya don’t even think’a me ann you like that. Fine… but yer still my daughter. An’ ain’t nobody nowhere allowed to f^<k with my kids.” He looked at Nadine and then Daggum. “Same goes for the both’a ya.” He stood up and downed the last of his moonshine. “Now if’n y’all’ll excuse me. I’m gonna step outside before I get really pissed.” and he turned and walked out the front door.

Micah

“Oh, hell no,” Faye said, setting her drink down and following Micah out the door. Sharah tried to reach out to Faye but was brushed off. This was something she needed to do.

“Hey!” she called out to Micah. “You wanted to have this conversation now. You don’t get to storm out because it got uncomfortable! You want to be my father, then stay. I’m so tired of people choosing to not stick around, so goddammit, be different. I call you Pops. Does that mean nothing to you? Because it meant everything to me when Nadine and I decided on that name for you.”

Micah stopped and turned, crossing his arms on his chest and glaring at her. Not in anger or judgement, but with… something else.

She stood there, hands on her hips and tears running down her face. “I do get that it’s hard. And knowing Blue was involved told me everything. Dag will get it tangentially. Nadine, not at all. This is no high-horse I’m on. Do you have any idea how hard these months have been on my BPD? And then you two call like it’s any old call and tell Dag and I we’re getting R&R. Great. Fantastic. I’m thrilled to see you, but every time you two do something drastic, I can’t keep up. And I get it, I don’t get to say sh!t about your mission. Fine. But realize that your absence and sudden reappearance has been super triggering for me. You need to remember how Mom showed up in my life again. Not at that facility on Unroth, but on the Manhattan. I started letting people in and that is super scary. Hell, I got married. But if you think I have my abandonment issues all worked out, you’d be wrong. And it’s not your problem, but you do have to navigate that with me. If we’re family. If we’re not? Well then, I guess there’s nothing left to talk about, is there?” Her breathing was ragged and her heart thudding in her ears. Yes, she was prone to angry outbursts, but this isn’t what this was. She was being open, and vulnerable, and it was simply because she loved this man. He was important to her. And in her own way, Faye was making a stand for them as a family.

Micah didnt come near her, but almost yelled across the distance seperating them. “And do you get that this time, right now, this is about how you mom is! How she is holding up! Hun, I love ya like you’re my own blood; but right now I’m a helluva lot more worried about your ma than I am you.”

“As you should be!” Faye said with a laugh. “Someone has to talk her off the ledge once in awhile. You think my father did so well at it? Sometimes, maybe before I was born but later on? When there was all that drama with my Uncle Gavin? It got too much that it was more preferable to run away on a dangerous mission than stay with the family she built. And this time is different. I can understand that now. And I’m worried about her too. But we’re all in this together, aren’t we? do’t think for a damn second that I am not acutely aware of why my mother has PTSD in the first place. It’s not my fault. I know that, but I’m never not going to feel responsible. Nothing you do is going to change how this situation started, how she and I came back to each other. So yes, be worried for her. Support her. But this is abut how we as a family move forward. Because one of these days I might actually like to have children of my own like Dag and I talked about, and I damn well want them to have a family to be a part of. I don’t want to repeat the dysfunction my parents had in theirs.”

Inside, Nadine eyed her moonshine and knocked a rather unhealthy amount back in one go. Shara reached out and took the glass away. “Hey now, go easy on that,” she said, eyeing her daughter with concern.

But Nadine took the glass back with a glare. “I can do what I damn well like, now can’t I? Everyone else does.”

“Care to share with the class what’s eating you?”

Nadine just took another gulp.

Daggum silently reached over and gently, but firmly, took the glass from her. “That’s not the answer.” he said softly.

Nadine didn’t respond and seemed to shrink slightly.

Shara was a bit at a loss, and worried 9the least of which being their family genetics when it came to alcohol). Nadine and Faye were such different people and she was still getting to know both of them properly. She looked to Daggum, trying to gauge where he was at. “I’m used to having lots of regrets. Just know that I have never claimed to be perfect. If I could take back the pain caused, I would. You’re protecting Faye in your own way and I’m glad for that. She needs someone to do that sometimes. And I can actually make that promise that that was the last time, but I’ll explain in a bit.”

~Shara et al.

Daggum looked at her for a long time and then said “If you make it, keep it. Because if you or that sanctimonious prick of a husband of yours break it… again… I can promise you that will be the last time you will ever have to worry about making any promise to her ever again.” and he stood up and looked at Nadine. “Feel like a walk?” he asked her.

Micah / Daggum

Nadine gave a nod. “Air would be good.” She pushed herself to her feet and looked at Shara. “I’m not angry at you, truly. I’m scared because I waited a long time to find you and after all these years it was hard for you to suddenly be gone. I’ve had too much of that in recent years of my life. I’m not in a place where i can handle too much more of it.” She didn’t wait for a response, or Dag, and stepped outside.

In the late afternoon mountain air, Nadine watched Micah and Faye have it out and simply headed in the direction of the cabns, though she was walking slow in case Daggum was going to go with her.

~Shara et al.

Inside the main cabin, Shara moved back to the piano and sat on the bench for awhile, listening to the distinct voices of Micah and Faye. It should upset her, but instead it made her smile even though the whole preceding conversation still pained her. Hands on the keys, she began to play lightly, going back to her favoured Fanny Mendelssohn. She played, letting herself be lost in the notes, though she was aware of Tess rubbing against her legs. “Yes, my dear, I know. It’s all good. She’ll be back sooner than you think.”

Sure enough, after making it through Op.8 No. 1, the door opened and Faye stepped in cautiously. Shara just smiled at her and kept playing.

Tess ran over and Faye scooped her up as she made her way to the coffee table. “I’m not mad, I just need a breather to calm down,” she said as she grabbed her drink.

“I know,” Shara said. She was being honest too.

Faye nodded and stepped back out, heading to her cabin to have some quiet time before dinner, though she did steal a glance back at her mother being lost in the beautiful music. An unreadable expression appeared on her face before it disappeared along with Faye.

Shara kept playing, devoting herself to the piece that was woven into her memory from a young age. It wasn’t that she played it herself back then, but there was a particular concert that she remembered her mother doing a solo piece within. It wasn’t until she had been on Arkelis that she had looked it up, able to distance herself from the memory. Decades later, No.2 Andante con espressione wove through her mind and into her body, slipping out through her fingertips.

OOC: https://youtu.be/5chRHBkuwUA?si=0pcGrvS9IxZSvM4h

~Shara Calloway, CIO

Her playing was interrupted by the comm unit. Shara’s fingers stopped, hovering over the keys, and she drew in a deep breath. Spinning off the piano bench, she sat at the couch and found her ‘shine. She downed a decent amount of it and opened the channel on her end.

The bearded face of her brother gazed back at her and Shara steeled herself. For a moment the two just stared at each other until Gavin started chucking. =/\=You should see your face. A perfect mask, and I don’t know if you realize this, but you have that tiny little crease in the corner of your eyes that mom did. You know, the one where she was anticipating a less than ideal response from someone?=/\=

Of all the things he could have said, invoking their late mother disarmed Shara more than anything else could have. “Do I now?”

=/\= Oh yeah,=/\= he said with a smile. =/\=You could have called sooner, Shar, but I think I understand. At least Faye kept me in the loop.=/\=

She winced. Yet another time Faye had had to intervene between her mother and uncle because Shara hadn’t been… what? Brave enough? She had a helluva lot of bravery in many areas of her life, but when it came to dealing with her very complicated family, she could admit she could be cowardly. It was a defensive mechanism, but that didn’t make it okay. “I’m sorry,” she said softly. “There was so much going on after we returned. Our debrief, evals and reintegration took a good 2 months, adn then I…” Shara shook her head. “I should have called you right away. Let you know myself what went down. Or at least as much as I could say.”

Gavin nodded. =/\=Yes, that would have been preferable, especially given I had thought my sister had lost her mind and even though you were listed as dead, Faye said not to believe that. All I knew then were the rumours and the arrest warrants for the Asimov’s crew. As far as anyone else knew you were a traitor. At least this time, I knew enough to knew things were likely more complicated than that.=/\=

The word traitor sat there in the open, an old would that had healed over poorly but had been accepted in scar form. Even knowing he hadn’t entirely bought the public story, it still pained her to think he might have doubted her even for a moment. He had had reason to before, so why shouldn’t he have questioned her morals once again?

~Shara Calloway, CIO

“You know you could just say you’re glad she’s back and not make her squirm for you.” A metal hand set lightly on her shoulder and Micah glared into the camera. “Not sure where y’all learned to how not ta talk to family… but they did a helluva job teaching the both of ya.” He leaned down so his face was next to Shara’s. “Now… both y’all be nice and be happy to see one another. I done yelled at one daughter tonight… I can do the same for my brother-in-law.” and he stood up and walked to the kitchen.

Micah

Shara and Gavin exchanged a look and both broke into a smirk at the same time. For a moment it was like they were kids again and playing ruuku. They always teamed up with each other when playing with the other kids in the neighbourhood and had developed a way of communicating without words. It had made similar things later in life in the context of her career rather easy.

She let the shift in his eyes tell her that he was thinking the same thing. With their Dad, with their mom dying young? They should both be grateful they had families still to talk to.

=/\=He’s protective of you,=/\= Gavin said.

Shara nodded. “Yes. Goodness knows I’m terrible at it for myself. But I am of him too.”

Gavin leaned forward and fixed his gaze rather intently on her. =/\=You doing okay? That was a long while to be undercover.=/\=

She took a measured breath and slowly nodded. “Okay is probably a good word. Umm… it triggered my PTSD pretty bad for the first while but we changed up one my meds and it helped with the sleep issues, which in turn did help other things. Not gonna lie though, it was rough and it still is. We’ve been back awhile but I can’t quite shake the cover persona.” She smirked. “You would have hated her. And she probably would have wanted to punch you in the nose if you got on her nerves.”

Gavin laughed, the lines around his eyes deeply creasing. =/\=Sounds interesting. I’m sorry it’s been hard. I’ve never done the undercover stuff, and don’t worry I know you can’t tell me anything, but I also know that I would probably be pretty terrible at it. I didn’t quite get a chance to get to it, but I am glad to see you. I’m glad you both made it through your assignment. And for the record, you have great daughters, Shar. I’ve chatted with both of them off and on. They’re both great women.=/\=

Shara smiled softly. “Yeah, they are. And I can handle that they’re mad at me right now- they have every right to be- because I know that I worked hard to get to a place where I could have them in my life.”

=/\=Give it time.=/\= Shara nodded. Gavin continued and filled her in on what his wife and daughter were up to. Shara wished she could have had more of an opportunity to get to know Quinari and Tahala, but she supposed there was time for it yet.

Just then the front door opened and Shara looked over to see Nadine and Daggum enter with their arms full. “The cook is in the kitchen. I’m sure he’ll be glad for the contributions.”

Nadine’s brows knit together. “Where’s Faye?”

She looked at Nadine, but Shara focused on Daggum when she said, “Cabin. She took Tess.”

Nadine nodded and looked at Daggum. “Pass them over,” she said, gesturing to the ramps and mushrooms.

~Shara et al.

Daggum was carrying the food in the front of his shirt laike a basket and just moved over to the counter and dumped them. He looked at Micah and Micah looked at him and nodded. “Go, I got this. We’ll talk later.” Daggum nodded and walked out of the cabin. Micah watched him leave and then looked at Nadine. “Want to help wash these off and get dinner started? Or do ya want a full jar’a shine and go sit on the porch? Either way works fer me…”

Micah

Nadine set the ramps to the side. “I’ll help. I though the ramps would be nice chopped up into a vinaigrette for a salad. But just give me one moment.”

She stepped out and moved over to Shara and saw the familiar face on the screen. Nadine gave a wave. “Hey, Gavin.”

He smiled warmly at his elder niece. =/\=Hi, Nadine. How are you doing?=/\=

Nadine chuckled, but there was a bitter edge to it. “Well, bad week to ask, but I will say I’m happy to be up here and I have a nice trek in. Mountain air is good. Still prefer the ocean, but I like it here too.”

His grin deepened. =/\=Sometimes the change of scenery isa good place to start.=/\=

“Says the man whose scenery changes perpetually if he wants it to.” Nadine winked. “Gotta go help with dinner. But I’ll talk to you another time.” Gavin nodded and she leaned over and kissed Shara’s cheek, startling the woman. As Nadine took a a step back, she gave a tiny nod to let her birth mother know they were okay and went back to the kitchen.

While Shara continued to talk with her brother, Nadine grabbed a handful of ramps and then began to carefully wash them, making sure there was as little dirt caught as possible. “How are you holding up?” she asked Micah.

~Shara and Nadine

Micah shrugged as he cleaned the mushrooms. “I’m okay. Better than Sha… I hate what this last job did you her.” He pulled a knife from the knife block on the counter and began slicing the mushrooms into almost perfectly equal width slices. As he did, his brow furrowed. “Hey… I want you to know… I hated pulling Shara away from you and Faye. And I mean I hated doing it.” The knife stopped and the former Marine’s head turned and looked at her. “It was worth it, Nadine. That much I can and will say. The rewards were worth ALL of this. I hope you can believe me.” and he turned back to slicing the mushrooms.

Pikelsimer, FedSec

She was quiet for several moments. “I do,” Nadine said with a nod. “I never got the impression you and Shara did things on a whim, aside from getting married.” Nadine smirked. “My… fears, maybe aren’t entirely rational, but you have to understand that while you were both gone, we had to keep living our lives. And sometimes it was hard.” Nadine rinsed off another ramp and after finding a cutting board and knife, began to finely dice the ramps. “I don’t know what it was like for Faye beyond what she would say- I think she was putting up a brave front for me a lot of the time- but for me I’ve had a lot of hurts that just won’t go away. I feel like I finally get to a good place and then bam! I’m in it again. It’s just the place I’m in in my life right now. I’m not a child, I know how these things go. I know life is messy. And I’m so sorry you two were forced into that position. Just keep in mind it’s been a different kind of messy for the rest of us as well.”

~Nadine

Micah’s knife moved faster, and more than once the blade went tink off of metal fingers holding vegetables and fungi. “Nadine, I’ll tell you what I told your sister. Shara and I both know it was hard on you all. And we are taking that into account. We always did. Every second we were away we knew it was hard fo you all. But you three need to cut her some fu<&ing slack and stop reminding her at every chance how bad you had it. It’s not a g0dd&mn contest, got it?” His voice was stern, sharp… and carried with it all the care and protectiveness he had for his wife.

Micah

It took all of her control to stifle her reaction (being a primary school teacher had its advantages some days). Nadine scooped up the ramps she had finely diced and dumped them into a small bowl. Grabbing some oil and vinegar, she silently whisked it all together with some salt and pepper, Micah’s words and tone hovering in the kitchen. “No one said it was a contest and no one is making it into one. We’re all allowed to have feelings about the situation, Micah. And we’re going to have to work through them.” She found something to put the dressing into that they could pour it from and carefully transferred the dressing form the bowl. “Shara’s allowed to have her feelings too and she is more than capable of telling us what’s going on with herself, as she has been. And yes, you both might have factored in a general sense of difficulty, but you have no idea what exactly we’ve been going through, and if you keep trying to shut down the conversations we’re trying to work up the courage to have, you never will.”

In the living room, Shara laughed at something Gavin said and their conversation seemed to be continuing without too much fuss.

~Nadine & Shara

The door opened and Faye entered, followed by Daggum. Faye gave her mother a tentative smile. Shara just beamed and waved her over, pointing to the screen. Faye came around the back of the couch adn waved at the sight of Gavin. “Well, if it isn’t my intrepid uncle. How goes it?”

Gavin smiled. =/\=Well. Better now that I’ve heard from Shara.=/\=

“I bet,” Faye said. “It was nice seeing you. We’ll talk again later.” Gavin gave a nod and Faye moved off towards the kitchen. She poked her head in but gave some space and didn’t actually enter. “Anything I can help with?” she asked softly.

~Faye & Co