Posted by Commander Shara Calloway (Executive Officer) in Counsellor’s Office- The Requirements of Healing

Posted by Lieutenant Patrick ‘Paddy’ McMillan (CNS) in Counsellor’s Office- The Requirements of Healing

Posted by Commander Shara Calloway (Executive Officer) in Counsellor’s Office- The Requirements of Healing
Posted by… suppressed (29) by the Post Ghost! 👻

(snip)

Shara pressed her hands into her thighs. “It depends, but it’s usually some version of someone I care about being in danger and either I’m too late to help them, or forced to do something I don’t want to. For a really long time it centered around Faye, but lately it has expanded to including my husband and eldest daughter.” Shara hadn’t mentioned having a second child and it wasn’t in her official record.

~Shara Calloway, CIO

“I wasn’t aware you had a second child, was there a reason you wanted to keep that to yourself until now?”

-Lieutenant Patrick McMillan: Counsellor-

Shara drew in a deep breath. “She’s not on my official record because I was sixteen when I had her and gave her up for adoption. We only met a little while ago, before I came to the Asimov. And this knowledge is not something I want many people to know until this mission is over. She didn’t ask for a birth mother who was mixed up in classified and risky business and I won’t endanger her by telling every person I know she exists.”

~Shara Calloway, CIO

Paddy leaned in, “As understandable of a decision that is, the emotional strain you must go through knowing that you have a daughter out there must be difficult, did you know much about her before you met up with her?”

-Lieutenant Patrick McMillan: Counsellor-

Shara shook her head, feeling that strange feeling that would creep up now and again when she thought of the baby she named Lila, whose name was now Nadine. “Nothing. My husband was the one to reach out to her after learning that she had been looking for her birth mother. I legally wasn’t allowed because it had been a closed adoption. So Micah went out to see her while we were on Earth and make sure it was all legit, and then she came to stay with us. Until then I knew nothing more than that one month I had with her when I was sixteen.” She broke into soft smile. “But she’s a wonderful person and I’m so glad she’s in my life again, as complicated as that made everything. You have to understand that no one in my life knew about her. Not my late husband, not my daughter Faye. It wasn’t until I confessed her existence to Micah that I had ever spoken about her.”

~Shara Calloway, CIO

“The memories you could make with her now will have a positive impact going forward. Maybe, where you can, you should try and stay in more regular contact.” Paddy could see he was getting somewhere here.

-Lieutenant Patrick McMillan: Counsellor-

Shara broke into a bitter laugh that lasted quite a few moments. “Oh trust me, Counsellor, I had intended to do just that, but then Starfleet had other plans and we’ve been forced to not have any outside contact and I have to trust that she won’t believe anything she sees or hears about us. Because she knows my past as a rebel and quite frankly it’s not outside the realm of possibility for me to have done what we’re doing willingly. I had promised her that I would be around for her now, but it’s now a promise broken and I can do sh!t all but deal with it.”

~Shara Calloway, CIO

‘Do you think now that we’re upstanding again you’d like to bring her aboard?’

-Lieutenant Patrick McMillan: Counsellor-

Shara gave him a bemused look. “Bring your kid to work day?” She shrugged. “Nadine is a grown woman. If she wants to come for a visit, she can, anytime. But I will get to spend time with her and my other daughter and son-in-law soon. It’ll be the first time we’ve all seen each other since Faye’s wedding.”

~Shara Calloway, CIO

“Do you often think it would be nicer if the gaps between your time together weren’t so large?”

-Lieutenant Patrick McMillan: Counsellor-

Shara shrugged. “My daughter Faye and her husband are also Starfleet officers, and Nadine is on Earth. Our situation is what it is, Counsellor. And given we just spent seven months hiding from the Federation while undercover, I can’t exactly go back and wish differently, now can I?” she said, her bitterness seeping into every syllable.

~Shara Calloway, CIO

“You don’t have to go back though, you could make a positive change for the future. Maybe once we’re near a Starbase again, you could make contact, bring Faye aboard the Asimov for a week or two.”

-Lieutenant Patrick McMillan: Counsellor-

She chuckled. “Faye doesn’t need to come here, though she’s free to if she wants. Nadine, if free to, but she has her own life.” Shara exhaled. “We’ll get to spend time altogether as a family once Micah and I head out for our leave. That’s the plan. We’ll corral the kids and hopefully work through all the various emotions that are going to come with this. Because I made a promise I had to promptly break. And that is only a piece of why I was having all the nightmares again. Why this damn mission was so difficult for me. I get that a lot of people on this ship think I must live and breathe for missions like that, but I really don’t. I have exceptional skills that I employ for an outcome. No more, no less. It’s just that my work was always messier and more morally complicated than most Starfleet personnel like to think about. They don’t want to know what people like me did day in and day out. It makes them uncomfortable.”

~Shara Calloway, CIO

“Sometimes sacrifices we make come at the cost of relationships, but it comes to something when we’re unable to rebuild those bridges. If I may be so bold, I think a session with Faye and Nadine along with you may prove more beneficial than you realise.”

-Lieutenant Patrick McMillan: Counsellor-

“Family therapy,” she said dryly. It wasn’t that she was opposed, but her relationship with each daughter and the issues that went along with them were vastly different.

She cast her gaze elsewhere in the room. “I don’t know. Maybe.”

~Shara Calloway, CIO

Bump

Bump

“Think on it Commander, it could be more beneficial than you realise.”

-Lieutenant Patrick McMillan: Counselor-

“Even if we could, the logistics of such a thing would be extraordinarily difficult at best, because I’m pretty sure a one-off session was not what you had in mind, and if they are visiting me here somehow, they aren’t going to want to spend all their time in therapy.” Shara couldn’t explain the resistance and her mind was only filled with the obstacles. “Honestly, I don’t know that this isn’t something we can’t hash out at the cabin when we’re there. That’s more our style anyway.”

“Anyway, we were talking about my nightmares. They are better than before, but I still have them. There’s a lot to process from our mission and even though the medication is helping me sleep more soundly.”

~Shara Calloway, CIO

‘Would it help to have a neutral party at your cabin for that meeting? Say, me?’

-Lieutenant Patrick McMillan: Counselor-

Shara frowned. “No. While I appreciate the offer, this family reunion is not open to guests.” She sighed. “I don’t want to be rude, but we barely know each other and Micah and I have lived dangerous lives. We don’t advertise the location of this home and I am not comfortable with you, one, being there, and two, having that information. Too risky.”

~Shara Calloway, CIO

‘Fair enough, and please know that you don’t have to share anything with me about this meeting if you feel it unnecessary.’

-Lieutenant Patrick McMillan: Counselor-

She tamped down on her rising frustration but it did surface on her face and Shara shook her head. “No, I don’t. But I’m here because you convinced me that continuing to chat would be useful. I’m being open here because my previous experience with therapy tells me that if I hold back I’m only hurting myself. Just because I set a boundary with you, doesn’t mean I’m not willing to be here and do this.”

~Shara Calloway, CIO

Bump

Final bump?

“And I appreciate what you have shared thus far Commander believe me, I will only go as far with this as you want me to.”

-Lieutenant Patrick McMillan: Counselor-

She studied him for a moment. “And where do you think we should go from here, Counsellor?” There were a lot of variables at play but Shara wanted to feel like they were going to accomplish something at some point.

~Shara Calloway, CIO

“Reach the end of your first medication cycle, then come back to me. I need time to think upon how we can analyse your nightmares.”

-Lieutenant Patrick McMillan: Counselor-

She nodded. Medication took time to adjust to and when other variables were changing, it could make medication function differently. She knew that, but as a woman of action she wanted to doing something. Perhaps she would treat this like she had many of her assignments. There was always a point in each one where things were in limbo and she just had to wait until something happened. “And in the meantime, live my life, right?”

~Shara Calloway, CIO

Bump

“In the way only you can,” Paddy grinned.

-Lieutenant Patrick McMillan: Counselor-

That was the trick though, right? Shara was still struggling to figure that out. And yet she had taken massive strides in her life in the last year. Certainly not only getting married but also staying married was the biggest. But then there had been Nadine. And Faye’s wedding. And Gavin. So many wonderful things. “Well, I guess I better get on with it then.”

Shara rose to her feet and nodded. “Alright then. I have my marching orders and I’ll book an appointment with you after the cycle is done. If you want to see me before that, you know how to find me.”

~Shara Calloway, CIO

Paddy rose and smiled, “Same thing applies to you Shara, you know I’m only a com call away.”

-Lieutenant Patrick McMillan: Counselor-

She gave him a brief nod and left the office. Her mind was spinning slightly but there was no obvious relief. Maybe she had just been that much worse when she had done therapy before or maybe she was just different. Either way, whatever relief or understanding she had been hoping for was still being elusive.

~Shara Calloway, XO

OOC: Happy to jump ahead to another check in here, if you like?

-Kieron-