Posted by Commander Shara Calloway (Chief Intelligence Officer) in An offer of help (Tag Calloway)

Posted by Commander Shara Calloway (Chief Intelligence Officer) in An offer of help (Tag Calloway)

Posted by Lieutenant Kohana Black Wolf (Intelligence Officer/Helm) in An offer of help (Tag Calloway)
Posted by… suppressed (4) by the Post Ghost! 👻
Kohana had just been relieved from his post at the helm and had come to the lounge for dinner. After ordering a bowl of vegetable beef soup and a grilled cheese sandwich, he looked around for a place to sit.

Spotting Cmdr. by herself at a small table, he approached her.

“Forgive me for the intrusion, commander, but I was windering if I might join you?”

Lieutenant Kohana Black Wolf
Intelligence Officer/Helm USS Asimov

Shara tipped her head up and took in Black Wolf. She had a plate before her with some sort of rolled wrap thing and a salad. A PADD rested next to it. “By all means,” she said, gesturing to the other chair. She was in her duty uniform but the jacket was open, revealing the black shirt underneath.

“I’m still dealing with the last of the debrief stuff, but all told things seem to be more or less wrapped up.” At least as far as reports and the mission itself was concerned. The results for the people involved? Well, that was a different matter.

~Shara Calloway, CIO

“I’m sure it affected some people more than others. Most of the crew aren’t trained in the psychology of a mission like this. Going undercover, becoming someone else that isn’t liked or has to take uncomfortable actions. . . . ? For those untrained in how to deal with it, I’m sure it takes a toll on the psyche.”

He took a taste of his soup and thought for a moment. “What about you, Commander? I’ve got a pretty good handle on dealing with the return to normalcy, but does it get any easier after you’ve been in black ops for as long as you have?”

Lieutenant Kohana Black Wolf
Intelligence Officer/Helm USS Asimov

“Nope,” she said, taking a bite of what was mediocre hapserat and not even a fraction as good as what her late friend, Jaris, used to make and her daughter Faye recreated using the recipe he gave her. Shara ate it because it was still nostalgic and comforting. She chewed and swallowed, giving herself time to figure out how to explain.

“My gift of transforming myself so totally also has a downside. I never transitioned back well. Every time was a struggle,” she said. “Some more than others. This time though… it’s harder but on a different level. I mean, I’m still trying to excise my persona but it’s the aftermath that I’m dealing with. Though we got a handle on my nightmares, it’s been a hot mess for the rest of my PTSD.” Shara shrugged. “I’m aware and working through it as best I can.” She didn’t mind being open with him given she already had been. Sure, the stakes were back to normal, but she wasn’t going to suddenly cut everyone off now that she had let them in in some ways. It was antithetical to allowing herself to feel like a true member of the crew.

~Shara Calloway, CIO

Kohana thought carefully, before he spoke again. “I can understand, to a certain extent, your difficulties in returning to a balance, Commander. You had a large personal stake in this mission, with both your husband and daughter being involved. That added stress, along with you PTSD,. . . . I can’t imagine. . . . .I’m just grateful that my parents are oblivious as to what I have to do sometimes, and the fact that I have no siblings or children I have to worry about in this blurred line of work.”

“I have another daughter. She’s civilian and only came back into my life in the last year. It wasn’t safe for too many people to know about her,” Shara said, almost wincing at her words.

He took a slow bite of the grilled cheese and appeared to contemplate his next statement.

“Commander, I’m sure you’ve been discussing this with Lt. McMillan. I don’t know if it’s been helping or not, nor is it any of my business, but, as a colleague in the Intel field, I’d like to offer you an alternative that might help you regain the balance of mind, body, and soul that you are seeking.”

Lieutenant Kohana Black Wolf
Intelligence Officer/Helm USS Asimov

Soul. There had been many times she had wondered if she still had one. Maybe it had been tossed away carelessly on one of her many missions. Maybe it had been cut out by one of the many tragedies in her life- some of her own making. It there had been a moment in Tennessee with Micah and Nadine when she had sat down at her brand new piano and she had felt it. Something deep down within her that demanded to be given a voice. She loved her guitar and it was deeply special to her, but something about a piano spoke to her on a cosmic level she couldn’t explain.

She set down her hasperat and folded her arms on the table before her. “I’m listening.”

~Shara Calloway, CIO

OOC: Sorry it’s taken so long. My computer gave me the dreaded blue screen and had to do a factory reset, which resulted in losing everything I had done since the end of January–programs, docs, music, etc. . . .I’ve trying to get everything back. Think I’ve most of it now!!

IC: “Have you ever heard of a sweat lodge ceremony? It’s a part of the seven sacred rites of the Sioux, a rite of purification.” He paused a moment to let Shara take in that information.

The lodge, or the “inipi”itself is an integral part of the ceremony. Inipi translates to “to live again”. The idea is to shed or sweat ou both physical and non-physical impurities you are experiencing. Once freed, or even in the process of liberation from what has been holding you back from becoming your true self, you might receive a vision directing you toward a future path that will be beneficial to yourself and your community, or in this case, your family or the Saracen’s crew.”.

Kohana stirred his soup briefly, to let it cool. “I have participated in the ceremony myself, a number of times, mostly to recenter and balance myself after a particularly difficult mission.”

Lieutenant Kohana Black Wolf
Intelligence Officer/Helm USS Asimov